mommy mishap: Teaching my kid to be a Klepto

 

kleptoWe made it through our staycation while being frugal and not wasting our money on nonsense or frivolous things. When the kids asked to go to the gift shop at the water park we said no. When asked if they could buy toys we said not today. Except we didn’t say not today we said it’s too expensive or we don’t have enough money for that. Unfortunately we have always given in to our kids requests for toys and wasteful, cheap toys at parks, zoos or anything with a gift shop in it. But not this time, this time we said no. Which is much-needed and the kids handled it great! There was no whining,or begging or pleading it was just okay and we moved on. Just when I was about to pull out the most awesome parents in the world award for me and the hubby, then this happens.

I was in the car so this is second-hand from my husband so the truth as he told it to me. Got that? Okay here it is. The girls and hubby went in to the local walmart while I stayed in the car with Little man who had fallen asleep. As they were walking in the store 4yo suddenly says in her cute little way ” I don’t have nothing in my pocket!” Which of course means that she does, and when the hubby checked her pocket it was a thing of chap stick that she had pocketed from the store! Gasp! my innocent little girl just turned into a thief! He made her put it back of course and they went on their merry way!

When I asked her about the chap stick  she said that her lips were hurting. I explained that if she needed to have chap stick she would have asked us to buy it for her, but we already had some at home. Her response was simply this. Well daddy wouldn’t buy it for me.’  of course he would have had she asked, but she didn’t and we certainly weren’t going to buy it after she tried to take it.

Now I am not blowing this scenario out of proportion, I know that kids are kids and at her young age, this can be normal for them to experiment with behaviors such as this. But I can’t help but think that our sudden talks of money and finances have led to this behavior. I want to teach my kids the value of money and what it means to work hard for that money, but I don’t want them to think that if they truly needed something that we wouldn’t get it for them. I guess I am learning one day at a time how to unspoil my kids. We make a decent living, but by no means are we rich. We live pay check to pay check like most of America, but we always have what we need and usually a little more.

We teach our children that money grows on trees and if you ask you shall receive but in efforts to stop this behavior, maybe we should focus not on the money but just that we do not need it. In hindsight this makes sense to me, but I sure wish I had made this position clear this week of staycation.

I’m learning every day about what it means to parent and one thing is clear, the work is never done! So this week I have learned that we need to focus on wants versus needs instead of making a blanket statement about money and how much things cost! I think I will make a chart of their needs vs. their wants so that maybe they can see the difference in a want or a need. What do you guys think? How do you distinguish a childs wants and needs while teaching them the value of a hard-earned dollar?

photo credit:http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-T-I9eB4Ypl8/TbP_8UoVDDI/AAAAAAAAAKg/5Ce__CsGHYk/s1600/klepto2.jpg

Clean and Sober

April:

To all of my patients who say it can’t be done! A truly inspiring story of sobriety! Congrats to Diana for staying sober and being brave enough to share her story!

Originally posted on trying to make things right:

20140727_121243Hey everybody,
I am so Happy today, because on this day three years ago i drank my last beer, woot woot so awesome.I cant believe it has been three years, I never thought i could go longer than 9 months for a pregnancy.
On this day 3 years ago Darrell was considering not marrying me, because he came home and i was drunk and our kids were with me. Everyone told him to leave me alone, they said she will never change, and our wedding was supposed to be in three days. Thank God he didnt listen to everyone else cause i did change, BAMM WHAT Lol.
I wish i could get the word out to every addict and alcoholic in the world, that life is so much better when you’re clean. It has been 3 years since i drank any alcohol, and it has been more than 3 years…

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A Letter to tweens about knowing self worth

 

875-0-WishRates? TBH… This is often the beginning of a Facebook posts from teenage girls with a picture of themselves and those awful duck face poses. I just look at them and think how the innocence of that girl are leaving her. Saddened that in 2014 we are still focused on a woman’s outer appearance and that this keeps going even at young ages.The girl that pops in my mind is 12 years old and not quite a teenager, but acts an age much older. To her I would say this..

 

Dear tween girl,

  I seen the post of yourself asking your friends to rate you today. It puzzled me because why would such a strong, intelligent and brave soul need that confirmation from others that are her own age. You see, while you are quite beautiful on the outside I happen to believe that you are equally as beautiful on the inside.  I see how much you love your younger cousins, playing peek a boo with them, I see how much you love and admire your mom and dad. You tell them each and every day.  You see the beauty on the inside for everything and everyone, but why do you refuse to see it for yourself?

Our outer beauty is merely and extension of the person we are, and while being pretty might get your foot in the door, it will not get you very far. Hard work and determination will get you to your destination in life.  Paying attention in school, and earning the grades that will get you to college to be that somebody that I know you want to be. I hear that you want to be a nurse, and that is an amazing goal, but even with my grades nursing school challenged me in ways I could have never imagined. I didn’t go out much in those years. Choosing instead to study and get through those four years of college.  My friends didn’t understand at the time, nor did they stick around.

Honestly that is okay with me. My true friends stayed and while there are not many, it is much better than the false feeling of community that I only thought I had in high school. Now at 33 years old, I have everything I could have ever asked for. A great career, true friendships and a wonderful husband and three amazing children. The point is that those friends you are desperately asking to rate you on your outer beauty will only be your friends until the end of the next semester.

I am not trying to discourage you at all, in fact have friends and make lots of them! But do not put too much value on what they think of your physical beauty. You should know your self-worth, and trust me when I say that you are worth a lot! I have seen where your “friends” have said they would rate you as a zero! I am writing this to you, because of your response which just proves my case that you are nothing other than amazing. You proceeded to tell her that she was beautiful and gorgeous, and no matter what you will always be friends. These are the words of a kind soul. Anyone can be pretty on the outside but only a rare few are as beautiful on the inside.

Having the best of both worlds makes you an unstoppable force to be reckoned with, and never forget that! Be true to yourself, Focus on the important things, and all the rest will fall into place! You are strong, kind, brave and intelligent. These are the traits that make you beautiful and never ever lose sight of that!

                                                                                                                                                                Love,

                                                                                                                                                                 Your Aunt

A water park adventure!

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Vacation time is almost over and the week is coming to a close! Boo! It has been so nice to spend time with the husband and kids while the husband is actually well rested! Soon we will be back to him waking up at 2am and trucking through the days like a zombie to stay awake for the family’s behalf.

We took the girls to a water park yesterday and had a blast. sorry son, but we let you hang out with your cousin. Trust me you would have been better off, because eight hours later and no amount of sunscreen was going to protect us from those u.v. rays.

In less than five minutes someone was bleeding! You have got to be kidding me, 6yo scraped her knee and off we go looking for the first aid booth. The one thing you must know about 6yo is that she hates scraping her knee, she thinks she is being murdered, so as we enter this booth to get her a bandage, the child starts freaking out! Now here I am not at all comfortable wearing a bathing suit and I am wrestling this poor child to get her on the table. Boobs hanging out, and the poor life guard just watching with a straight face. He was a good man though and didn’t say a word! we finally got her up there and the only thing he says is she can put the band-aid on. Yep good call buddy!

After that fiasco she was in a bit of a mood! 4yo wanted to go on some slides so me and the brother-in-law took her. She insisted ongoing on one of the big slides, so I talked her into the smaller one first and then see how she likes it. Which of course she loves so the big slide was next. We got one of those tubes that old three people and shh, she was an inch shorter than the height requirement but we didn’t tell! Off we go down the great white shark and the smile on that precious face as we whipped down the slide turning the corners faster than I thought possible instantly made the whole trip worth it! I will forever have that smile engrained in my brain.

We couldn’t find the husband and 6yo so we went into the wave pool for some fun! Holding my hand 4yo jumped up and down in those waves with lots of excitement! as we were getting out here comes hubby and 6yo to join in, so back in the wavepool we went. 6yo began to have some fun again at this point and said that This was her favorite pool!

At some point we decide to eat some lunch and the hubby and brother-in-law waited in line for almost an hour. In the middle of this me and the girls were  enjoying the kiddie area when 6yo shows me that she has a loose tooth! She thought that eating would help it come out, but that didn’t work so we still now have a loose tooth!wpid-img_20140725_083524.png

We played around some more and next thing we knew it was almost closing time! Yep eight hours in the sun and we were beginning to hurt. We reapplied sunscreen but it didn’t seem to matter, we were burnt. All in all it was a great day, and sadly our vacation is coming to an end. I guess it will be back to schedules and reality on Monday. It sure has been a fun staycation!

 

 

Living In Paradise

Today started Vacation for both me and the Hubby! Which means no work just us and the kids enjoying life! I had visions of a Leave it to beaver type moments with well-behaved kids and everything is just Grande! Then I woke up and reality hit! Two hours we spent listening to crying, whining kids as we were trying to get ready for a day filled with fun! officially to my max point of frustration mostly due to the lack of planning for the day’s events, I just wanted to stay home and wallow.

Thankfully I trucked on, getting kids ready and packing bags for the days adventures , which ended up being worth all of the stress and anger. At least the anger on my part. We decided to have a staycation due to the lack of funds, but it honestly is ok. We live in paradise and so there is no need to go on an expensive vacation when the fun is just an hour away.

If we hadn’t decided to go, I would have missed this very sweet moment between 4 y0 and 1yo.

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We took the long drive to one of our favorite touristy restaurants and had a blast! The wait was an hour, but the kids had a blast playing on the playground and looking at the alligators! yep you heard that right!

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During lunch Let it go came on and 4yo serenaded the whole restaurant with all of her adorable cuteness!

 

After we finished our meal we made our way to the beach! The red flag was up so we couldn’t get in the water, but we enjoyed what we could. 6yo began chasing the seagulls and pigeons yelling BOO at the top of her lungs at them! One of the cutest things I have ever seen and then little man followed suit! Next thing I know me and him are walking up and down the beach chasing Birds yelling Boo! Well more like running because let’s face it my boy doesn’t know how to walk only run.  Let’s just say I got my exercise for the week!

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The hubby and girls stood at the shoreline dipping their toes in the water. I admired my husband from afar while he is holding on tight to those sweet little hands. It always amazes me the love that he has for our children. Like there is no other place he would rather be.

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In reflection Day 1 was a success! Even with all the stress and poor planning we managed to have a wonderful outing! We sure are blessed to live in paradise!

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Woohoo, It’s Vacay time!

vacation

allow me to do a little dance! I’m n vacation..I’m on vacation….

Okay  so now that I have that out-of-the-way, I just wanted to tell all of my friends that this week will be all about the family. While I have some posts scheduled it may take me longer than usual to respond to comments and not because I do not want to . I promise if I do not get to them right away, I will get to them. I know how frustrating it is when you take the time to like and comment on a post to get nothing for a response so I did not want to leave for a week without letting you guys know that I appreciate you and I will respond.

We live near a beach so it is more of a staycation really. It doesn’t matter to me because for one week I will not be called for work related purposes. Just me and my hubby and kiddos spending time together. Maybe a trip to the water park, but no Work! The hubby will get to sleep like a normal person and not get up before the butt crack of dawn and I will not have to stay late to finish up that one last thing that always takes to long to finish.

So to you my friends.. I will see you soon.. If not sooner because we all know that I might have a blogging addiction now!

Remembering Aiden

miscarriage

Woman were created to have children. Our bodies designed perfectly to have,carry and birth the lives that we have created.  Men cannot do it, they cannot have a child. Which is why childbirth is so special. It’s not because of the horrible pain that we suffer, it’s not because it is truly beautiful, it is in fact kind of gross. Those bloody babies coming out of a hole way too small I might add, but the fact that only we can have this, that makes it special. Which is why it makes it so hard when we can’t. They say miscarriage is common, they say it is normal. But how can it be normal for a woman to fail at something she was so perfectly designed to do?

In reading a fellow blogger’s post about her current situation. It lead me to remember my own. I will never forget my first pregnancy. That’s not to mistake with my first-born, because unfortunately she was not truly the first. It still feels like yesterday that I peed on that silly stick and the pink lines appeared. Giddy and excited I went and bought a stuffed blue stuffed animal and a ducky robe to take to my husband. Surprising him at work with the news. Instantly he was Aiden.  Even though I will never know for sure, he was a boy to us! I always felt this bond to him. A Bond that only lasted seven weeks.

At seven weeks the bleeding began and what started out slow, turned into something major! Awakening in the middle of the night to the worst pain I had ever felt, was both confusing and horrifying. Unable to fully understand what was happening as the Sharp cramps became increasingly frequent, somehow I managed to go back to sleep.  A few short hours later, I had awaken to a massive amount of blood with clots the size of baseballs coming out from inside me. Crying as I called the doctor, she informed to come to the hospital.

Even then I still was unable to fully understand what was happening. As if miscarriage had never crossed my mind. The pain being so severe as my husband holding my had and rubbing my hair. Een with the amount of pain, I still flinched when the nurse came in with the morphine to numb what was happening. I was a mother trying to protect her child, but once he came in with the sedative, I knew what had happened. He didn’t have to say it, I knew that Aiden was gone. A few hours later the Doctor walked in and said the words. It’s just not a viable pregnancy. As if she had said it a million times before and as if it my baby somehow didn’t matter! The heat rose up inside me in that moment but the drugs made it hard for me to react. Tears down my face as I was sent home, still bleeding and the hope of the future gone as soon as it had started.

I eventually had to have a D and C and my body couldn’t even get that right. Everything in me screamed failure! Which is a word that I hate, and if you know me, then you know that I do not fail at anything! The doctor said it was nature’s way of getting rid of a very sick baby and while I know she was trying to put my mind at ease, the only thing she manged to do was piss me off! Others told me well at least it happened early, and that only pissed me off more.

You see, for Seven weeks we had a baby! For seven weeks we had a future planned with a little blond boy named Aiden. pictures of us holding him and singing to him came to mind. Pictures of him being a big brother to his younger sisters and protecting them from all the boys played out in our heads. So no, It doesn’t matter to me that we lost him at seven weeks versus 36! He was our baby. A life and future that was planned.

I remember thinking that I just wasn’t meant to have a baby. Boy was I wrong on that! Now as I look at my three beautiful children, I think of him sometimes. You see for me it means I would have had four children.  Losing him made me realize just how much I wanted to be a mom! How much I needed to be a mom! It took us nine months to conceive the child we would call our first-born. It’s ironic really, It takes nine months to carry a baby, and after the miscarriage it took nine months to conceive our now six-year-old.

We have a wonderful life that is fulfilled with our three happy and healthy kids, but every now and I think of him! He would be eight years old now, would he be playing baseball or would he like sports at all? What would he think of his baby brother? Would he guide him or show him the ropes and play cars with him. They say everything happens for a reason, and I have no choice but to believe this is true. We may not know what the reason is right now, but eventually we will know. For now, while the house is asleep and all is quiet I sit here Remembering Aiden.