Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award

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Thank you Diana for nominating me for sisterhood of the world Bloggers award!  I have been following Diana for a little while now at http://mommyx4boys.wordpress.com/ and love her Blog! Lately I had been in a bit of a rut so this was a nice surprise to get me going again!

The rules are:

Now as with other awards there are a few rules that come with accepting this award

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and link back to their site
2. Display the award logo on your blog
3. Answer the ten questions i ask you
4. Come up with ten new questions for your nominees to answer
5. Nominate ten others for this award

Diana’s questions for me are:

1. What do you think is your best quality? umm Patience – just kidding Patience is my worst quality because I have none, but I do have great instincts and can always trust my gut – my friends would say loyalty and honesty are my best qualities

2. What is your biggest regret? I don’t have any - I think that we are were we are supposed to be and any choice I have made has led me to my hubby,kids and career and who could regret that!

3. Name someone you have looked up to in life, and tell us why. My grandmother – She always worked hard and even though she was not perfect she loved her family and always got by with her own hard work and dedication

4. If you had to choose between being a cop or a doctor which would you choose and why? A Doctor – if I got stabbed a doctor can fix me when the cop cannot

5. Have you ever been in a fight, if so what was it over? I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been in a fight – now I’m talking about verbal and not physical – with my sister about teenage stuff back then, parents about you know parent stuff – with my hubby – the normal pick up your clothes etc.

6. If you could meet one person alive or passed on who would it be, and why? I would have to-day Florence nightingale – She engineered the pathway to nursing today and I would want to find out if what nursing today is what she ever pictured in her mind and if she would approve of it and modern medicine

7. Have you ever had a near death experience? No, I have congenital heart disease but only as a baby I had trouble breathing once so I do not remember it

8. Have you ever experienced a miracle, if so what was it? yes, several – I by all accounts am a miracle as I could have easily died as a baby and so far am healthy – The birth of all my children especially my son who we found out had grown healthy despite a ruptured uterus early on in my pregnancy

9. What is your favorite show or movie? Grey’s anatomy  and revenge

10. Do you think a person can ever truly change or not? Yes! I think that it take much hard work to change and unfortunately more people say they have changed then those that actually do, but I have seen firsthand that people do change!

 

My nominees are:

  1. http://crassicalmom.com/
  2. http://notapunkrocker.wordpress.com/
  3. http://secretlyfabulous.wordpress.com/
  4. http://mythoughtsonapage.com/
  5. http://storiesofourboys.com/

My question are:

  1.  If you could travel back to one moment in time, what would it be?
  2. If you had a magic Genie to grant you three wishes what would they be?
  3. Did your life turn out as you imagined it as a child?
  4. What is your dream job?
  5. Do you believe in love at first sight?
  6. Tell me about a time that you experienced an unethical situation and what did you do about it?
  7. What is your worst quality?
  8. If you could travel to any place in the world for free, where would you go?
  9. If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be and why?
  10. Are you a glass half full kind of person or a glass half empty?

Thanks again Diana, you had some awesome question for me! Check out her blog guys she is fantastic!

Growing Two Hearts

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Funniest, sweetest kid I know!

Five years ago (on 9-9-09) I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl! I remember the anxiety,happiness,worry,genuine relief as if it were yesterday!  She was the second of our little girls and little did I know how much we needed her in our lives.

I found out I was pregnant when the oldest had barely turned one years old, we found out we were expecting another baby! Being new parents still the fear set in. I laugh at myself now, but we loved our oldest daughter so much I didn’t understand how I could love another child with the same amount of love! This fear genuinely plagued my mind. I remember my mother in law who is quite intuitive telling us, I know what you are afraid of and trust me, you will love the next child just as much!

Her words sat through me because until I seen that beautiful little girl with my own eyes, I did not understand that statement!  I honestly kept that uneasy feeling until the first kick! That kick is when I began to fall in love with her! I knew I loved her but after birth did I realize just how much!

The day she was born we had a scheduled c-section and I knew this little girl inside and out already. She was more laid back in my tummy, she didn’t do cartwheels or kick till I couldn’t stand it, She was just right. A comfortable pregnancy with a baby who would be ready for the world on her own time.

The Cesarian went wonderful and the moment I heard that sweet little cry, nothing too loud or over the top, just a little to let us know that she was healthy and alive. That moment is when I understood! I didn’t have enough room in my heart for her because I simultaneously grew a second heart for her the moment she was born! Two hears were where there was one and each child has their own place filling up the hearts in its entirety!

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One time Paci for this Baby!

She looked just like her mommy which is good because the oldest looks like her daddy and hey, I need at least on child to look like me! She remained an easy baby and I remember thinking wow! I got so lucky this time. She never took the paci with exception of one day in the hospital and at five months began to suck her thumb! The moment she did this i instinctively tried to give her the paci. The way I felt about it is I can always take away the pacifier but the thumb is here to stay. She still sucks her thumb but we are trying to work with her to stop.

This year 5yo started preschool and it has amazed me how well she is writing. Shy but in her own way outgoing I am loving this little girl she is shaping up to be.  As a baby she was very nurturing always playing mommy to her dolls, and in a way she is still nurturing to her brother and sister even though sister is the older one. She loves Littlest pet shops and Lallaloopsy toys.

Her sense of humor is more dry and honestly more of a boy sense of humor. If she says the word fart she will laugh hysterically and often will say it to get you to laugh as well.  She told me she loved me for the first time while I was on the potty and even though it wasn’t an ideal place for me to hear it, I will hold that memory in my heart forever.

Being the toughest kid I know, it is hard to tell when she is sick. If her throat hurts she will just deal and you have to look for the subtle clues. She will ask for more water than milk, or maybe lose interest in eating. otherwise you would never know.

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Her Hello Kitty Birthday Cake!

5yo was just what I needed when I didn’t even know I needed it! We are so blessed to have her in our lives and always remember this one thing. Never question how much love you have in your heart for a child, because where there was one heart you will grow two! (or three in my case)..

 

Welcome back school

wpid-img_8824.jpg.jpgIt’s 7pm and as I drink my coffee in hopes to stay awake a little longer, My energy continues to deplete. A sign of the past week taking its toll. School started back for the both girls as well as myself! 4yo in preschool and 6yo in first grade. I still can’t believe they are old enough for school, but alas they are.

What am I taking you ask. Well this semester would be statistics, which if you know me, then you know I am sure to hate it! My instructor seems cool, so maybe it will not be so bad. Ballet also started back, so we are back to crazy schedules, tired mommy and kids, and poor eating habits. We are working on that one. we really are trying, but the stress eating always comes back.

First grader wouldn’t even let me walk her to class on the first day. She just simply looked at me and said “I got it!” The independence and strong will of that child never ceases to amaze me. I followed her wishes and let her walks herself to class, crying as I pulled away to the sight of my little girls with the big crowd of students walking into the school. Little girl, bid school I thought. Only she is not so little anymore. She will always be that little six pound baby to me. The one that loved to cuddle, the one that always wanted her mom nearby.

Preschooler did okay. She was quiet and seemed a little nervous as we waked in, but her teacher greeted her with open arm. Lots of the kids gathered around her to say hi, and I could see instantly that she would have no problem making friends. Is it weird that I worry about that? I guess I never want my kiddos to feel alone, or lost. I think that we lose much of our youth that way.wpid-20140818_072623.jpg

By Wednesday 4yo wasn’t looking that good, so the hubby took her to the doctor. immediately diagnosed with strep throat and scarlet fever. Oh boy, let the sickies begin. I remember first grader catching something once a week while in pre-k. I guess it’s good for her to build up her immunities before Kindergarten but boy do I hate seeing my fun-loving child sick. It’s just so heart breaking. Thankful for the antibiotics that seem to be helping. although she hates it, and I nearly have to wrestle her to the ground to get her to take  the medicine.

Statistics class seems okay so far, but it’s only been one week. I’m just ready to be done with school. If I could do one thing over again it would be that! I would have continued through and taken the bachelors classes after graduating nursing school! One year off turned in to ten, and well now trying to do it with three kids is just not ideal. It can be done, obviously since I am doing it, but is much more stressful with kids.

Work has been quite stressful with its never-ending meetings which undoubtedly takes me away from my actual job duties, causing me to have some late days at work. Hoping for a better week this week with that. All in all this past week went almost smooth, however we are all just exhausted! Hoping the new routine gets a little easier, or I may need to inject this coffee into my veins to get it working!

The last conversation

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Standing in my closet, just staring at it. Disbelief that it has been so long, that the years have just passed right on by. Today marks the anniversary of my brother’s death. The day his life was taken from us. Today he is but a mere memory pushed back in the depths of my brain only to be conjured up at the most unexpected moment.

Four years since his passing, and I remember every detail from that day. The hubby and I had taken the little ones only the two girls then, to a nearby bounce house and a seafood lunch where my then almost one year old ate fried alligator. Coming home exhausted and putting the kiddos to bed to only be awaken by that phone call.  The phone call that changed my family forever. I didn’t answer it right away, but listened to the voicemail of my sister that seemed quite off to me. So i called her back to listen to her hysterical attempt at trying to tell me what was happening. He’s been shot she finally uttered out and instinctively I knew! In his early twenties my brother was dead.

She was telling me to come, and kept repeating he had been shot when finally I yelled is he alive.  after sobbing for what felt like forever she was able to say no! As the tears filled my eyes, I grabbed my keys and took off to my parents. I am the strong one, so I had to quickly dry my eyes, they would need  my strength to get through this. then one by one I called the extended family to tell them the news. Listening to their hysterics, I remained calm.

The last time I had spoken to my brother, he had called me at work. He was feeling ill and asked me what to take. I was in the middle of a meeting and told him to call back. Telling him I loved him but please call back. Oh how I wish he would call me again, in a meeting, it doesn’t matter. you see, we weren’t  particularly close. We didn’t talk every day like him and my younger sister. honestly I can’t tell you what our last real conversation was about. He was my younger brother and I took advantage of the notion that he would always be there.

Today as I look at the dress, with tears in my eyes, I think of him. The good, the bad and since he was my little brother, the down right annoying. I remember his laugh and the way he loved everyone. He took after my dad that way. His lack of self-esteem masked with his often times over confidence. Picturing him as a little boy chasing my sister and I with one of our dad’s belts. His football games and race car. how he used to want a baby so bad, and I would laugh and say he was too young. I think about what his child would be like, but then am thankful he didn’t have to leave one behind.

All of it comes flooding back. Every childhood memory,every phone conversation, every angry spat as siblings have. But the one thing that does not come, is the last real conversation that we had. I can’t find it, can’t even begin to find it. frustration sets in as the harder I try the harder it is to see.

I look at my children now, as young as they are but how close they are and I pray. I pray for that closeness to last forever! I pray that they always end every conversation with I love you. I pray that life doesn’t keep them from staying the best of friends. That their children grow up being as close as siblings. I look at them and think how quickly things change. Out life on this earth is not promised to us. Every day is not so freely given. It is precious, it is a gift. Tonight I will hug my husband and kids a little tighter as I try to remember the last real conversation!

photo credit to patheos.com

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Kindness through a Haircut – A Nurse’s Tale

April:

See my guest post at the kindness blog below! Thanks for hosting me it was so fun and can’t wait to do it again sometime!

Originally posted on Kindness Blog:

Kindness through a Haircut – A Nurse’s Tale

by April Carmack

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We become nurses to help other people. Whether this was because a loved one had become ill, inspiring us to help others, or it was a life long dream, every nurse shares a common goal. We simply want to make a difference.

Often there are patients who just stick with you, wherever you go. Chronically ill, they are often a regular visitor to the hospital. Lovingly, we call them ‘frequent flyers’. I will never forget one of these ‘frequent flyers’ who we will call Mrs. Y. She had come in to the hospital on many occasions and memories of her will stay with me.

Mrs. Y would return to hospital for another admission, and she would have her short hair neatly done, worn freshly in curls. She took such pride in her appearance and had her hair done once…

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Survival tips for new Dads

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For all of you first time dads, I have something to tell you! Your wife, is not the same carefree, super cool chick that you fell in love with! She just had a baby, and once a woman has a baby shit gets real! She is tired, hormonal, her boobs hurt and she has to care for and not screw up another human being. Long gone are the days of frivolous spending and flying by the seat of your pants.  The little quirks about you that she used to think were cute, she will now find annoying. Believe me, she will make sure you know it too! You know what I am talking about.

For me it was my husband sleeping till noon every day. Pre kids it never bothered me, but after yeah buddy I made sure he got up with me! The good news for you is I am going to help you out and keep you in good graces with the wifie, but you have to pay attention.

  1. When you get home from work, take the baby! She is expecting it and if you go take a shower and turn on the t.v. all you have managed to do is piss off your wife. In her mind she has been taking care of the baby all day, probably haven’t showered and here you show up after having an all day break and you immediately take a shower! Umm no sir, TAKE THE BABY!

  2. Tell your wife she is a wonderful mother and tell her often. Especially if the baby is colicky and nothing will help. She will feel like a failure and she needs you to remind her how wonderful she is!

  3. If she is breast feeding then you change the babies diapers! Share the duties that you can share so that she is not doing all of the work alone, or help around the house. Do the dishes, Laundry vacuuming anything she needs. Do not make her feel like she has to do it all! Be her partner in every way possible!

  4. With spit up on her, a baby attached to her boob, no make  up on and little chance of showering she will feel ugly! Tell her how beautiful she is. She may laugh at you but hey, laughter is good stress relief!

  5. Never make comments about the baby crying. Example -” why can’t you get the baby to stop crying or It’s hard to go to work with the baby crying like this! – she will take this as an insult and it will not go well for you! Sometimes it’s the best she can do to not shake the shit out of that colicky screaming baby and any comments from you is sure to back fire in a bad way!

okay, so there you go just to get you started! Congrats on your new bundle of Joy and all the adventure that goes with it! I hope these tips help you understand the state of mind of your wife and keeps you out of trouble. if you do not take the advice given and end up in the dog house, then that’s on you. I tried my best to help you out!

 

Tonight I watch you sleep

little man sleeping with his daddy!

little man sleeping with his daddy!

I hears you coughing so I went in to check on you. Opening the door ever so quietly, I stood there in awe of you. The length of your body takes up more than half of the crib now. A crib you are soon t out grow.  leaving behind almost every trace of the little baby I once knew.
In watching your slumber I sat and listened. Listening to you snoring so loud it made the wall rattle and shake. unable to move just standing there watching as my sweet baby sleeps. It’s been a while since I have watched you sleep, so I sat in the glider next to your bed and watched for a little longer. So strong and independent at even three months old you began to soother yourself to sleep on you own. Only wanting to be layed in your crib as you would drift off the dream land on your own. A busy mom of three I kindly obliged.
Now as I sit next to you with my hand on your head, I would give anything to have those early moments back.  Rocking you with your head on my shoulder while singing twinkle little star. Letting my emotions get away from me tears welled in my eyes. Flashes of memories flooding my head, from  the day you were born, our unbreakable bond, every cry, your first smile. Remembering it all. Tears of sadness running down my face for how grown up you are getting, tears of joy for the kind,loving and fen little boy you are becoming.
Almost two years old and I can already see the beginnings of the young man you will become. Always so loving and tender, sharing and kind. As much as it makes me shudder to think of you as an adult you will be a great husband one day.
So independent and strong while being sensitive, kind and brave. You will be a great role model for others. For your children, for other children, maybe even teach your old mom  a few things.
As the memories and tears continue to flood, from the pas and for the future of the frown man you will become, tonight I am choosing to make time stand still. Tonight I will watch you sleep as I rub my hand through your freshly cut hair. Because tonight and every night no matter how old you become or how far you may move away. You will always be my sweet little baby. I will love you anywhere.