Let’s face it, once we have children, the amount of alone time we get is sparse. As my son was standing in front of me with his arms out reaching for me to hold him, and i said ” Son, mommy can’t hold you right now! I am trying to poop!” I realized that I really just need to poop alone! I’m not asking for much, JUST TWO MINUTES, THAT’S ALL I AM ASKING FOR! Can I get an AMEN! It is as if our children receive some kind of subliminal message telling them WARNING, your mom might leave the room for more than two minutes. You must ask for something right now!In fact, I recall a two-year old mini me, telling me” mommy I wuv you” for the first time ever while I was sitting on the pot. Yes it was cute, and yes it was adorable, but I mean come on! So in an effort to try to get some alone time,OPERATION MOMMY NEEDS TO POOP ALONE, has come in to play. I have tried several tactics in order to accomplish the mission at hand.
TACTIC one – Usually it starts with sassy. She almost always opens the door and says ” Whatcha doing?” my response to this is ” Dropping the kiddies off at the pool” Six year old sassy looks at me quizzically.. Yep why don’t you go ponder that in the living room for a while.
Results – Sassy coming back thirty seconds to state ” mommy, we don’t have a pool!”
Tactic two – asking the kids if they need anything before I go use the restroom. and turning on a movie.
Results – Mini me coming in stating “mommy i want milky!” yep you will have to wait dear as she stands there for a few seconds and then decides to hand me some toilet paper, turn off the light and shuts the door. Gee Thanks sweetheart!
Third tactic – giving buddy boy something to eat , toy or anything to otherwise occupy him while I step out of the room.
Results – Buddy Boy bringing me said item to hold, and reaching his arms out for me to hold him!
As you can see, I obviously need to get some sanity back, because here I am blogging about the need to poop alone. I know I am not alone. If there are any moms out there who has developed a good plan in order to accomplish this mission, then please share. What is the one thing that you would like to be able to do alone? Is it take a shower, go to the bathroom? share your stories with me and at the very least we can get a good laugh at each others expense. FYI- if you Google cartoons of mom’s going to the bathroom, then you will come across some traumatizing photos. Just saying!