Posted in mommyhood

Operation: Mommy needs to poop alone or she is going to loose her sanity!

Make a run for it!
Making a run for it!

Let’s face it, once we have children, the amount of alone time we get is sparse. As my son was standing in front of me with his arms out reaching for me to hold him, and i said  ” Son, mommy can’t hold you right now! I am trying to poop!”  I realized that I really just need  to   poop alone!  I’m not asking for much, JUST TWO MINUTES, THAT’S ALL I AM ASKING FOR!  Can I get an AMEN! It is as if our children receive some kind of subliminal message telling them WARNING, your mom might leave the room for more than two minutes. You must ask for something right now!In fact, I recall a two-year old mini me, telling me” mommy I wuv you” for the first time ever while I was sitting on the pot. Yes it was cute, and yes it was adorable, but I mean come on!  So in an effort to try to get some alone time,OPERATION MOMMY NEEDS TO POOP ALONE, has come in to play.  I have tried several tactics in order to accomplish the mission at hand.

TACTIC one – Usually it starts with sassy. She almost always opens the door and says ” Whatcha doing?”  my response to this is ” Dropping the kiddies off at the pool” Six year old sassy looks at me quizzically.. Yep why don’t you go ponder that in the living room for a while.

Results –  Sassy coming back thirty seconds to state ” mommy, we don’t have  a pool!”

Tactic  two –  asking the kids if they need anything before I go use the restroom.  and turning on a movie.

       Results – Mini me coming in stating “mommy i want milky!” yep you will have to wait dear as she stands there for a few seconds and then decides to hand me some toilet paper, turn off the light and shuts the door. Gee Thanks sweetheart!

Third tactic – giving buddy boy something to eat , toy or anything to otherwise occupy him while I step out of the room.

Results – Buddy Boy bringing me said item to hold, and reaching his arms out for me to hold him!

As you can see, I obviously need to get some sanity back, because here I am blogging about the need to poop alone. I know I am not alone. If there are any moms out there who has developed a good plan in order to accomplish this mission, then please share. What is the one thing that you would like to be able to do alone? Is it take a shower, go to the bathroom?  share your stories with me and at the very least we can get a good laugh at each others expense. FYI- if you Google cartoons of mom’s going to the bathroom, then you  will come across some traumatizing photos. Just saying!

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Author:

I am a wife of ten years, mom of three, Nurse and student! My household is quite chaotic and busy. With a six year old going on sixteen. we shall call her "Sassy", a four year old, who is stubborn as a mule, she shall be called " mini me", and a one year old, we will call "Buddy". Our girls do Ballet, and our son, well he is all boy! Very curious and always getting in to something. When we found out we were having a boy i laughed and said " god must have known we needed a little less diva in our life," Ha, little boys are quite the handful! I love my kids with all of my heart, and i love my job too! As a nurse leader i get to see many sides to healthcare and help encourage and guide new nurses. I love taking care of patients and being able to have grown up talk and then come home to my babies. The house is usually chaotic with lots of tantrums, and messes, but i wouldn't change it for a bit. On the rare occasion that i am able to have some spare time to myself, i like to read, bake and decorate cakes, and take pictures of my kiddos. Time to myself is rare so i decided to start this blog to have a creative outlet and connect with other working moms, who might be going through the same situations as myself. I hope you enjoy my thoughts and stories as a mom, student, wife and Nurse! These stories will range from Diapers and tutus to meetings and boardrooms! and everything that falls in between. Enjoy and thanks for visiting my site.

17 thoughts on “Operation: Mommy needs to poop alone or she is going to loose her sanity!

  1. Hmmmm. Let’s see. Things I’d like to do alone. Poop, shower, brush my teeth, cook anything at all, get off the couch and walk somewhere, get the mail, talk on the phone, hug my husband. Those are just a few. We call my 3-year-old “white shadow” because no matter what you do she is always there. Lol! Great post. 🙂

    1. Hugging your husband, That’s a good one! my son is the one that always has to tear us apart lol! I guess he is saying get off my woman lol! I’m glad you enjoyed the post, thanks for reading 🙂

  2. First, I must say I was laughing from start to finish with your post. I do not have children so I have yet to experience these things the way you have. I do find it very funny, as I have friends in the same boat as you. Great writing, very amusing and I hope you get to take those browns to the super bowl by yourself today!

  3. Mine are 4,6,and 8 and it’s still hard to get alone time – even in the bathroom. They will literally walk over their father lying on the floor in front of the bathroom door to come in and ask me to unscrew the cap from a GoGo Squeeze. My suggestion: find something incredibly messy they are not usually allowed to play with (jar of shaving cream? Bucket of mud?). Set it on the kitchen floor. Tell them “absolutely do not touch this.” You should have 30 minutes to yourself.

  4. I was in stitches, reading your post! My suggestion: ask them to go find something for you that is really hard to find – it might keep them out of the room for a couple of minutes. Thanks for following Benzeknees!

  5. Let me know if you solve this one. I typically have the three kids, two step kids and the dogs accompany to any bathroom activity. Honestly, I think I’d get lonely in there at this point.

  6. 🙂 I remember when I went back to work after my first son, when he was 2, my 2 favorite things at work were: going to the bathroom alone and eating lunch without having to feed anyone else but me 🙂

  7. Ha, ha, ha! I love this! You know, in the house that I just moved from, the only bathroom whose lock did not work was mine! What’s up with that?? And now, I have one of those situations where the master bedroom just flows into the master bath with no door or anything (very spaish). The toilet room does have a door that closes (and a working lock), but alas, my laundry hamper is blocking the door from closing.

    I think the kids think that if I am sitting on the toilet, I must be relaxed and it’s a good time to come and have a lengthy conversation with me…this is what they do. I know that I do not, and will not have for years to come, the privilege to poop alone. So all I want is to wipe alone, for goodness sake! I have tried to ward them off by announcing disgusting things that are about to occur (“OK, I’m going to wipe now”), but they are not fazed. They just stand there staring at me wondering what my issue is!

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