Driving alone with the radio turned off, the children at school, left alone with my thoughts. This is when it hits. A random moment. From childhood and on, this is where it hits. His laugh, something funny he said. A memory of me dyeing his hair blond, it flashes. Silently I remember Him chasing my sister and I in the house, going to Disney world, watching his football games. In Silence I remember him. The definition of silence is the state of being forgotten. I disagree. Silence is when I remember him the most. I remember the day it happened like it was yesterday. I silently remember every detail down to what I had for lunch that day. I remember laying in bed getting ready to sleep when the call came. He had been shot! Again the Silence came. My sister was saying something but I could not hear her. The world became still, the world became silent. She didn’t have to say it, I could tell in her cries. I knew what was wrong and I had to get there. In a fog ,I drove myself to my family. with nothing but my thoughts and quiet cries. Once I arrived my fears were confirmed. There were people saying something, but I could not hear. I could SEE! I could see the flashes from the cameras of the crime scene unit. The police cars everywhere. I could see the yellow tape that you only see in movies, and at this moment it felt like something out of a movie. Silently my intuition was confirmed. A gunshot wound to the chest had taken my brother’s life. The victim of a random robbery. A life taken too soon. But there he lied in the street, Still, silent, unmoving. Over the last few years, Some have wondered if I grieved the loss. Silently I have, and sometimes still do. At his funeral I was strong, mostly emotionless. I think my family needed that,But in my thoughts in my private quiet way I cried. Grieving for the little red, curly-haired little boy that we all loved. Grieving for the young man that he had become. The one that made us laugh, sometimes made us cry. He was a boy after all, and let’s face it all boys make you cry. But in those moments when there is no music,television or crazy busy schedules silently I cry. The Dictionary has it wrong, because silently is when I remember the most. My brother is silent and gone, but he is never forgotten, and still to this day, sometimes I silently cry.