Posted in mommyhood

To date or not to date

kids

I read a blog post recently that essentially gave the message that you shouldn’t date your children.  In short, in a country that oversexualizes children you shouldn’t posts Facebook posts that say “Daddy/Daughter Date.” In essence you are not a couple with your child! Well, no offense but of course not! No father or mother is intending to say that they are a couple with their child, and maybe those that see a problem with the innocence of a daddy and daughter combo spending quality time together and calling it a “date”  should have their head examined!

For most of us who work full time and in  order to provide for them, our time is limited with our children.  I myself have dates with my children once a month. As much as I would like to sit here and tell you that I am able to equally divide my time will all three of my children, the truth is that I do not! At home the ones that are most demanding at the time get more attention. It’s just the hard truth. So I take my children on what I call mommy and me dates once a month.  It is our very special one on one time together. Sometimes we go to the movies, sometimes just dinner, and maybe some ice cream. Now do not get me wrong, we make every day special with little moments here and there, but there isn’t always time to have that one on one attention that all children need.

So the next time you judge someone either a father or a mother for taking their children on a “date”, think about this. What if they just simply do not have much money and the father decided to surprise his daughter by taking her to that movie she has been wanting to see. Maybe the father travels a lot and they really do not get to spend too much time together. What if the father only has visitation rights and this happens to be their once a week visit, so he wanted to make it special. I think posting ” My daughters night to pick whatever she wants to do” is a little too long for a Facebook status. So they innocently title it Daddy/Daughter date. I am more proud that the dad actually wants to spend time with his children one on one. Some fathers couldn’t care less.

Also, what about the mothers like myself who have “Date nights” with their children? I have two girls and a son, and I take my girls on mommy date nights. My son is only one, so we do not do not have date nights yet. Am I oversexualizing my child by posting an innocent picture of my daughter coloring at the table and captioning with ” my date for tonight?” Because I certainly am not meaning anything derogatory at all! I do use a special term for our time together because it is special. It is special for me to have one on one time with all of my children, because they deserve that! My children are special and all three of them deserve to know that they are equally and separately special to me and their father.

I believe that everyone is entitled to their opinions, and i do think that this person was merely stating his/her opinion, however this is mine. We date our children because they deserve to have parents who love them enough to want to know them and spend time with them. Some do not get to see their children everyday and this is their only time to see them. Others may be over seas and get to have this one visit with his daughter before he has to go back. Maybe a dad/mom was spending the little bit of money they had left to show his/her child that no matte what, they will get by. It could be a one last night before the child goes to college, and who knows when they will see each other again. A date doesn’t mean that there is always a romantic notion.  Anytime I go on a date with my husband we go to the movies, have dinner and them pick the kids up and go home. As sad as that sounds there really isn’t much romance to it. It’s just time alone, together. A peaceful moment for us to talk, and watch a movie together.  It’s sad to me when others think anything derogatory as a result of a simple “Daddy/daughter date” post. I personally find it beautiful that a parent loves their child so much that they make the effort to spend quality time with them. Part of what’s wrong with our country is that many parents just do not care to spend time with their children. Some simply do not have the time. I know a woman who is the most wonderful and hardest working person I know. She is a single mother who works two full-time jobs to make ends meet. she simply is not able to spend that much time with her children, but I bet she would love to take them on a date to have some special time with them. It’s all about perspective… What’s your perspective? Doe you have “dates” with your child or do you hate the terminology? Is there a better word for spending one on one time with your children?

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Date – a social appointment or occasion arranged beforehand with another person

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Author:

I am a wife of ten years, mom of three, Nurse and student! My household is quite chaotic and busy. With a six year old going on sixteen. we shall call her "Sassy", a four year old, who is stubborn as a mule, she shall be called " mini me", and a one year old, we will call "Buddy". Our girls do Ballet, and our son, well he is all boy! Very curious and always getting in to something. When we found out we were having a boy i laughed and said " god must have known we needed a little less diva in our life," Ha, little boys are quite the handful! I love my kids with all of my heart, and i love my job too! As a nurse leader i get to see many sides to healthcare and help encourage and guide new nurses. I love taking care of patients and being able to have grown up talk and then come home to my babies. The house is usually chaotic with lots of tantrums, and messes, but i wouldn't change it for a bit. On the rare occasion that i am able to have some spare time to myself, i like to read, bake and decorate cakes, and take pictures of my kiddos. Time to myself is rare so i decided to start this blog to have a creative outlet and connect with other working moms, who might be going through the same situations as myself. I hope you enjoy my thoughts and stories as a mom, student, wife and Nurse! These stories will range from Diapers and tutus to meetings and boardrooms! and everything that falls in between. Enjoy and thanks for visiting my site.

6 thoughts on “To date or not to date

  1. its sick that people are trying to turn something sweet and good into something nasty and inappropriate. good post. my boys and i have movie dates every tuesday, and sunday.

  2. I couldn’t agree more! Parenting this day in age is challenging enough without people over-scrutinizing our parenting choices. Whatever happened to live and let live? I love having dates with my kids. The same way I love having lunch dates with friends and romantic dates with my husband. Especially when you have multiple children, those times alone with them help them feel secure and loved! 🙂

    1. Absolutely! We are all trying to do the best that we can and sometimes we are lucky to just say that we survived the day. SO that individual time is very important, I have my own mantra which is no child left behijd. Which to me means that all three children will feel my love and support. This is especially important for my middle child who is less demanding with our attention, so I have to make sure that she gets her special one on one time to talk and cuddle with me 🙂

  3. How could you fail to mention the ever-so-disgusting term “play date”? My children are constantly asking to spend time at their friends houses to do HeavenKnowsWhat. We are one spiked juice box away from a world of loose children who run naked through the streets because there is no moral fabric of society left to clothe them.

    Okay… maybe that was extreme…Maybe.

    1. Bahahaha! You just made me spit out my coffee laughing so hard! Not to extreme, might make a good post one day… Rug rats gone wild 😉

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