Posted in mommyhood

An open letter to the lady who looked at me with pity and told me I was outnumbered

Dear Pottery Lady,

We were waiting in your parking lot for you to arrive, a few minutes late I might add. My children and I were hoping to enjoy some quality time together painting in your lovely store and just having fun. I had a hellish week at work and was very much needing some down time with my kids. We were also celebrating the end of my 6 y/0 first year of school. What should have been a fun and endearing time with my kids ended in more stress than you can imagine.  My little man decided that he would not cooperate and after I handprinted his hand to a way too expensive plate that I was to paint, he decided that sitting still was not an option. He ran around your store, picking up items, grabbing onto me as I was trying to paint my masterpiece. I was getting up to hand different colors to 4yo and 6yo, and instead of offering to help you sat there watching up while quietly painting your own master piece. we were the only ones in the store. Meaning we were your only customer. It appeared as if you weren’t bothered by it. Needless to say, I was completely over the outing as soon as it began. after cleaning up my kids, and finishing very hurriedly the plate that I was excited to paint pre outing, I went to pay for all of our pieces. Way too much money for the lack of fun that I had. My kids went to the bathroom, yep all three and as I payed you half of my bank account you gave me a look of pity and said ” It seems you are a bit outnumbered”, and gave me my card back! I don’t know your current situation but one thing was for sure. You haven’t had small kids in a long time! And guess what, That was the wrong thing to say!

I politely smiled and said Today it would seem so! But what I wanted to say was Shut the hell up!  You must not know what it is like with kids. Instead of looking at me with disapproval for not being able to contain a one year old, you should have come over and said what can I do to help. Kids are like little grenades and are just like ticking time bombs.  They behave until they explode sometimes and most outings rarely turn out how a mother plans in her mind. Sure if my husband was there then it would have been more manageable. But you know what? Not everyone has a husband who his helpful, so would you have said that to a single mother who was trying to make memories with her kids. I actually like spending time and taking my kids places so instead of making a remark showing clear disapproval of my parenting, or lack of control over a toddler boy, maybe you should be thanking me for coming in and spending my hard-earned money in your store. Moms everywhere have it hard enough just surviving the day without disapproving glances from others, who clearly have no idea what it is like!

The wold would be a much better place if instead of judging each other we helped each other. I haven’t met a perfect mom yet, and even those that I would consider pretty close to perfect would be the first to tell you, that kids just simply have their moments. I thought a store that encouraged the artistry side of children would have understood that.  Thank you for making me feel inadequate at an already stressful moment. I will have to pick up my pottery in  a week, when you glaze it, and hope that I do not run into you. You see, I didn’t tell you how I felt because my children were there  with me. I teach them to be truthful, and teach them self-respect, and to always speak there mind, however. I would not have been respectful in that moment so I kept my mouth shut! The next time, I may or may not have my children with me, and just might give you a piece of my mind. Not because I will still be harboring feelings of resentment, because that is something I simply do not do. but because No one should feel the way you made me feel, and I would not want anyone hurt in that way. We are all just moms doing the best that we can!

Not so kind regards,

April ( the obviously outnumbered mom of three)

 

hands

 

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Author:

I am a wife of ten years, mom of three, Nurse and student! My household is quite chaotic and busy. With a six year old going on sixteen. we shall call her "Sassy", a four year old, who is stubborn as a mule, she shall be called " mini me", and a one year old, we will call "Buddy". Our girls do Ballet, and our son, well he is all boy! Very curious and always getting in to something. When we found out we were having a boy i laughed and said " god must have known we needed a little less diva in our life," Ha, little boys are quite the handful! I love my kids with all of my heart, and i love my job too! As a nurse leader i get to see many sides to healthcare and help encourage and guide new nurses. I love taking care of patients and being able to have grown up talk and then come home to my babies. The house is usually chaotic with lots of tantrums, and messes, but i wouldn't change it for a bit. On the rare occasion that i am able to have some spare time to myself, i like to read, bake and decorate cakes, and take pictures of my kiddos. Time to myself is rare so i decided to start this blog to have a creative outlet and connect with other working moms, who might be going through the same situations as myself. I hope you enjoy my thoughts and stories as a mom, student, wife and Nurse! These stories will range from Diapers and tutus to meetings and boardrooms! and everything that falls in between. Enjoy and thanks for visiting my site.

20 thoughts on “An open letter to the lady who looked at me with pity and told me I was outnumbered

    1. Well thank you! I so would have if my kids weren’t right there, I have never been shy of speaking my mind but felt the kiddos didn’t need to see me lose it, we really were trying to have a nice outing but one year old had different plans 😉

  1. What a silly lady. If she’d been helpful you have returned another day. She could have engaged with your 6 year-old at the very least. I hated when other mums told me to relax as my twins ran off in different directions!

    1. Olivia if there weren’t so many breakable things that I did not want to pay for, I probably would have just let him run around lol! But it is stressful and it makes me mad when I’m told to relax! That should be the never word as in you never say it to a stressed out mom, or we cannot be held accountable for our actions after 😉

  2. Oh my word!!! So sorry you experienced that. I don’t understand why people get so upset over kids acting like kids. Especially toddler boys (I have 15 month old boy that gives me a run for my money each time we are out in public, LOL!) Keep mommying on and ignore the haters. 🙂

    1. So sorry for the delayed respinse, girl, my son is 19 months so I know you feel my pain! There is no stoppi g them lol, they are so busy, but I will try and ignore the people who are hating 😉

  3. Oh no, that sounds stressful. Good for you for going to the pottery place alone with your kids in the first place! I’m impressed. I hope at least you get some fun keepsake plates out of it. And that lady was probably just having a bad day or something. Don’t take it personally, though I know that’s easy to say.

    1. Hilary, Thank you! I try to go places with all three kids from time to time. Just to prove that I can i think, lol. I can say it was much easier with just the two, and most outings are okay, but Little Man is just all over the place these days. I am hoping to pick up my little keepsake tomorrow, I am sure it will make the whole trip worth it 😉

  4. Why others feel the need to insert themselves in situations such as these leaves me baffled. They may have an opinion but that does not mean they must express it. Lack of decorum and we’ve all seen toddlers, even for the most experience they are a handful. I’ve nieces and nephews so I know this all too well.

    1. So true! I don’t think her comment would have bothered me so much if she hadn’t looked at me like she felt sorry for me! I mean since when do we feel sorry for people because they have a few kids, shouldn’t that be celebrated? And yes, toddlers are a handful but that doesn’t mean I stop leaving the house, it’s not fair to the other ones to have to stay couped up all day!

  5. hey there! i’m loving your recent posts!
    I also blogged about “An Open Letter to the Man Who Opened My Eyes To the World”. How can someone give the whole world to you and in a snap they’re gone?

    here’s what my recent post is all about…
    https://talkaboutbeauty.wordpress.com/2014/06/26/an-open-letter-to-the-man-who-opened-my-eyes-to-the-world/

    would be so nice to hear from you! 🙂

    cheers! xx

    deanna ( http://www.talkaboutbeauty.wordpress.com )

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