Posted in acceptance

Breathe

breathe1

After such a great week of guest posts, inspirational pieces, I can’t help but feel failure as I fall short this week. The feeling of blah, I’m tired and life stressors  are just taking me over. Yesterday while feeling the tension in my shoulders and back rise, I realized that it had been five days since I had written.  My fellow bloggy friends you understand this as writing is part of who we are. The need to sit down and take the pen to paper is a kind of release and therapy that others pay therapists a lot of money to get. It’s the ramblings of our inner psyche in which we are able to discover and become one with who we are.

Work has been mentally draining this week and part of that is due to my upcoming vacation.  A managers work is never done, and taking a week off means paying for it later. A true leader always worries and has concerns for the team in his/her absence.  I’m not saying that they cannot go on without me because they most certainly can, and a true leader is born when the team can function without one. That’s when you know you have done a job well done! But that in no way means that I do not worry just a little.  But a vacation I must take, it’s time to spend with the wee ones and definitely with the hubby.

In less than a month school will start and in that comes a whole new set of stress. Getting three children to three different places while making it to work on time, with only me myself and I to get them there. The hubby asked me how I planned on managing this task and the only thing I could say was leave the house earlier in the mornings, honestly I wake up at 4:30am as it is, so who knows! The new school year also means that I start back as well as Ballet. Don’t get me wrong I love watching the girls practice and it is so sweet, but the idea of having to make sure that we are there every Wednesday, on time which means I have to leave work early is causing me to panic. The six-year-old wants to take hip hop this year which makes for a long day ending after 7pm which means not getting home until 8 in the evening.

Now as I am sitting her trying to enjoy a peaceful moment after a really long and hectic day, the one year old is apparently not going to fall asleep and is making sure that I know it! The hubby is passed out in the recliner so it’s me taking care of the wee ones, and he deserves to rest but geeze minetti  I’m tired right now. I’m going to try to give him five minutes and see if he will settle down, but his cry is telling me that option is not likely to happen! I have known my son’s cries from the moment he was born and this one is telling me ” Lady, you better come get me because I am not having it right now!” I love that sweet boy, but mommy needs some down time right now.

Stressed and tired with a glass of Pinot in my hand, this is a moment I wish I could bust out my super mom cape recharge and go back at it. I remember one of my very first post and talking about having it all and finding the balance, but the truth is I am not sure you can have it all! There are times that I am focused on family and work may suffer and time where I am focused on work and the family may fall short. I am not saying it’s right or wrong but it is certainly reality.

Thank you for reading my ramblings today as I realize that I am complaining which is something that I normally do not do. It’s the exhaustion and stress kicking in, and maybe the glass of pinot, okay I have only had a few sips, so I can’t blame it on the Pinot, but now as I type I can feel the release and tension drift away from my back and shoulders. The feeling of I can take on the world just might come back as long as I remember the need to write is as apparent in me as the need to inhale and breathe. So this is me just breathing!

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Author:

I am a wife of ten years, mom of three, Nurse and student! My household is quite chaotic and busy. With a six year old going on sixteen. we shall call her "Sassy", a four year old, who is stubborn as a mule, she shall be called " mini me", and a one year old, we will call "Buddy". Our girls do Ballet, and our son, well he is all boy! Very curious and always getting in to something. When we found out we were having a boy i laughed and said " god must have known we needed a little less diva in our life," Ha, little boys are quite the handful! I love my kids with all of my heart, and i love my job too! As a nurse leader i get to see many sides to healthcare and help encourage and guide new nurses. I love taking care of patients and being able to have grown up talk and then come home to my babies. The house is usually chaotic with lots of tantrums, and messes, but i wouldn't change it for a bit. On the rare occasion that i am able to have some spare time to myself, i like to read, bake and decorate cakes, and take pictures of my kiddos. Time to myself is rare so i decided to start this blog to have a creative outlet and connect with other working moms, who might be going through the same situations as myself. I hope you enjoy my thoughts and stories as a mom, student, wife and Nurse! These stories will range from Diapers and tutus to meetings and boardrooms! and everything that falls in between. Enjoy and thanks for visiting my site.

9 thoughts on “Breathe

  1. I also struggle with the feelings of guilt. It’s a constant battle of deciding who or what needs your focus the most. It’s maddening sometimes. Most of the mothers that I know tend to put themselves last on the list. We have to remember to take care of ourselves. Thanks for the reminder! Hang in there!

    1. Thank you so much! Yes we must remember to take care of ourselves and have a little me time. It’s hard sometimes but a neccessity. Thanks for reading 🙂

  2. I admire you hugely. I have some friends who look like they have it all and I’ve asked how they do it.. they tell me they have no time to themselves. I think you are in the thick of it right now and it’ll get easier for you. My twins are actually getting their own breakfast cereal now and choosing their own clothes! I couldn’t have pictured this a year ago.
    Have a lovely holiday! :o)

    1. Thank you Olivia! I had to get my little guy out of bed, and let him have a minute then put him back and he slept! I actually feel like I have rested so I just have to remember to make time to do my writing! Those people that look like they have it all are usually pretty miserable so I hope your friends find time for themselves. I often have to remind myself of that fact and thankfully my husband is very supportive. If I need a night to hand out with my best friend he doesn’t mind. I did yoga briefly and let life get in the way, but I am thinking it is time to get back too it! I am surprised at how much it had helped me and that i actually enjoyed it 😉

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