Posted in The letter series

A Letter to tweens about knowing self worth

 

875-0-WishRates? TBH… This is often the beginning of a Facebook posts from teenage girls with a picture of themselves and those awful duck face poses. I just look at them and think how the innocence of that girl are leaving her. Saddened that in 2014 we are still focused on a woman’s outer appearance and that this keeps going even at young ages.The girl that pops in my mind is 12 years old and not quite a teenager, but acts an age much older. To her I would say this..

 

Dear tween girl,

  I seen the post of yourself asking your friends to rate you today. It puzzled me because why would such a strong, intelligent and brave soul need that confirmation from others that are her own age. You see, while you are quite beautiful on the outside I happen to believe that you are equally as beautiful on the inside.  I see how much you love your younger cousins, playing peek a boo with them, I see how much you love and admire your mom and dad. You tell them each and every day.  You see the beauty on the inside for everything and everyone, but why do you refuse to see it for yourself?

Our outer beauty is merely and extension of the person we are, and while being pretty might get your foot in the door, it will not get you very far. Hard work and determination will get you to your destination in life.  Paying attention in school, and earning the grades that will get you to college to be that somebody that I know you want to be. I hear that you want to be a nurse, and that is an amazing goal, but even with my grades nursing school challenged me in ways I could have never imagined. I didn’t go out much in those years. Choosing instead to study and get through those four years of college.  My friends didn’t understand at the time, nor did they stick around.

Honestly that is okay with me. My true friends stayed and while there are not many, it is much better than the false feeling of community that I only thought I had in high school. Now at 33 years old, I have everything I could have ever asked for. A great career, true friendships and a wonderful husband and three amazing children. The point is that those friends you are desperately asking to rate you on your outer beauty will only be your friends until the end of the next semester.

I am not trying to discourage you at all, in fact have friends and make lots of them! But do not put too much value on what they think of your physical beauty. You should know your self-worth, and trust me when I say that you are worth a lot! I have seen where your “friends” have said they would rate you as a zero! I am writing this to you, because of your response which just proves my case that you are nothing other than amazing. You proceeded to tell her that she was beautiful and gorgeous, and no matter what you will always be friends. These are the words of a kind soul. Anyone can be pretty on the outside but only a rare few are as beautiful on the inside.

Having the best of both worlds makes you an unstoppable force to be reckoned with, and never forget that! Be true to yourself, Focus on the important things, and all the rest will fall into place! You are strong, kind, brave and intelligent. These are the traits that make you beautiful and never ever lose sight of that!

                                                                                                                                                                Love,

                                                                                                                                                                 Your Aunt

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Author:

I am a wife of ten years, mom of three, Nurse and student! My household is quite chaotic and busy. With a six year old going on sixteen. we shall call her "Sassy", a four year old, who is stubborn as a mule, she shall be called " mini me", and a one year old, we will call "Buddy". Our girls do Ballet, and our son, well he is all boy! Very curious and always getting in to something. When we found out we were having a boy i laughed and said " god must have known we needed a little less diva in our life," Ha, little boys are quite the handful! I love my kids with all of my heart, and i love my job too! As a nurse leader i get to see many sides to healthcare and help encourage and guide new nurses. I love taking care of patients and being able to have grown up talk and then come home to my babies. The house is usually chaotic with lots of tantrums, and messes, but i wouldn't change it for a bit. On the rare occasion that i am able to have some spare time to myself, i like to read, bake and decorate cakes, and take pictures of my kiddos. Time to myself is rare so i decided to start this blog to have a creative outlet and connect with other working moms, who might be going through the same situations as myself. I hope you enjoy my thoughts and stories as a mom, student, wife and Nurse! These stories will range from Diapers and tutus to meetings and boardrooms! and everything that falls in between. Enjoy and thanks for visiting my site.

5 thoughts on “A Letter to tweens about knowing self worth

    1. I agree and it’s hard not to blame but it is true! I see my niece disappearing right in front of my eyes. She is still a good girl who so far has made good choices, but for how long? My mom tells me she is off with her friends all of the time, which amazes me because she is 12. I even seen a girl verbally bully her after she posted a selfie on facebook and it was heartbreaking. So then all of my nieces friends jumped on the other girl and eventually my niece joined in. I don’t know if it was to fit in or what but it broke my heart to read 😦

  1. Great post. I worry so much about the pressures my girls will put on themselves/feel put upon them by modern friendships and the social media that seems to rule them. It was hard enough feeling “judged” in high school before the age of the selfie…I can’t imagine how difficult it is for girls today. Though they are only 8,6,and 4, and do not think it’s too early to start talking to my girls candidly about self-image, peer pressure, and social media. The Mighty Girl website has been a great resource for me in finding supportive books, movies, and advice that are age-appropriate as well.

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