Posted in acceptance

Botched C – section

lifeHave you ever thought about what it would be like to just have planned c-section? The ease of just walking in at a scheduled time and having a baby with a perfectly round head? Relief! That’s what I felt when my doctor first told me that I was going to need a schedule Cesarian while expecting my oldest.  I can hear the angels singing now, except for the part where my baby was breech. That part truly sucked!  Honestly all I could think of was I don’t have to go through Labor?  Add a few more pregnancies, and the third surgery, well that is where the nightmare begins.

My first Section went perfectly and effortlessly! I felt awesome and I had the cutest little baby so what’s not to be happy about! Feeling triumphant I even remember laughing at the little cone head babies pictures online from the hospital website. I know, I was wrong for that, and my hubby ever so sarcastically pointed that out. don’t hate me I was hormonal.

The second time around, the doc left the decision up to me, so Naturally a second C-section it is! Why would I ever go into labor? Post surgery recovery was a little more intense that time around. The pain was more intense but I made it okay, and I have a pretty high pain tolerance so we managed. My mother in law kept feeling the need to remind me that I had major surgery and needed to rest. Laughing at her I  said ” I have two babies to take care of now, who has time for that?’

For the third time around, well this is where my nightmare truly begins.  For those of you that follow me, then I will not go back into the story of my son’s birth as you have seen that recently. For those that have not seen it, you can find it here. My nightmare began after his birth.

We were home all of two days when I began to notice an odor, and being the vain person I am all I could thing was that the doctor must do something about that, because smelling bad down there was not an option! It was horrible and all the while it never occurred to me that it could be my incision.

It was at my post op appointment where the nurse came in to remove the staples and immediately noticed the smell. Laughing I said, I know it’s so gross, we will need to get the doc to take care of that for me, and that’s when the look on her face suddenly changed. We went from laughing and joking to straight-faced and quiet in two seconds and she stepped out of the room to get the doctor.

Walking in with her serious face on Doctor V takes a look and tells me that she thinks it is infected and that there is likely to be a wound. The smell was coming from drainage at the incision site. They began to take out the staples and before Doctor V could say there it is, I could feel it! The warm rush of the fluid sliding down my body! Instantly I cried knowing that this was the beginning of a difficult recovery. thankfully still numb from the surgery, they cultured it and placed a new bandage on.

Talks of home health care and wound centers began with the possibility of antibiotics went on as I fought to keep my head spinning from the news. I just had a baby for crying out loud and your telling me I can’t drive, or well do anything! How are we supposed to deal with this!

What should have been the happiest days of my life quickly became a total nightmare! At my first wound center appointment the wound was deeper than they thought and I had to have a wound vac, which is essentially a vacuum that hangs on the outside of my body sucking the drainage from the inside out to speed the healing process. This is something I do for my patients, this is not something that happens to me, and yet here I was!

Three days a week I had to have this dressing changed out by nurses I know and a physician I respected! they were nothing short of amazing, but having my vagina out and open for them is not my idea of a good time! Especially as they ripped the dressing that was stuck to my growing pubic hair that they were now ripping out one by one! Yeah you can thank me later for that visual!

For almost over two months I wore this vacuum having to remember to keep it charged and un plug it at night when it was time to feed the baby.  Depressed and scared mush of those days felt like being on autopilot! Just going through the motions and trying to make the best of the situation.

My husband and I were talking the other day, which in turn inspired this post! We do not have any video from when Little man was so small! So much was going on back then, that we honestly didn’t even think of it! I hate that we do not have those moments recorded, and while I have a lot of photos, I will never hear those giggles or that sweet cry. If I could go back I would have never scheduled that second Cesarian! I would have tried it the way god intended for us to have babies. If you are pregnant and thinking of a C -section then I urge you to rethink that decision! I will never know what labor feels like, or what it feels like to push your baby out, and I feel robbed of that experience.  now. Hindsight is 20/20 and knowing now what I know I would have done it all over again! What about you? What are your thoughts on Scheduled C-sections?

























I am a wife of ten years, mom of three, Nurse and student! My household is quite chaotic and busy. With a six year old going on sixteen. we shall call her "Sassy", a four year old, who is stubborn as a mule, she shall be called " mini me", and a one year old, we will call "Buddy". Our girls do Ballet, and our son, well he is all boy! Very curious and always getting in to something. When we found out we were having a boy i laughed and said " god must have known we needed a little less diva in our life," Ha, little boys are quite the handful! I love my kids with all of my heart, and i love my job too! As a nurse leader i get to see many sides to healthcare and help encourage and guide new nurses. I love taking care of patients and being able to have grown up talk and then come home to my babies. The house is usually chaotic with lots of tantrums, and messes, but i wouldn't change it for a bit. On the rare occasion that i am able to have some spare time to myself, i like to read, bake and decorate cakes, and take pictures of my kiddos. Time to myself is rare so i decided to start this blog to have a creative outlet and connect with other working moms, who might be going through the same situations as myself. I hope you enjoy my thoughts and stories as a mom, student, wife and Nurse! These stories will range from Diapers and tutus to meetings and boardrooms! and everything that falls in between. Enjoy and thanks for visiting my site.

8 thoughts on “Botched C – section

  1. I would say that botched is too strong a word and implies that a mistake was made. Even with meticulous sterile technique wound infection is a known risk of any surgical intervention. And, there are risks such a femur fractures and anoxic brain injury for breech vaginally births or risks such as bladder laceration and uterine rupture for VBACs. For anything that is considered elective, it comes down to a thoughtful discussion between the patient and the doctor (and in this case likely the other parent if engaged). I would hesitate to come down on one side or another re: planned c-sections but the data does suggest that they are over-utilized in the US.
    All this said, I am very sorry for everything you had to go through with your third section. Glad to hear that you have recovered. Having a newborn is rough without having added health problems or complications or other little ones to look after.

    1. Yes botched probably is too strong a word and I whole heartedly agree that the first section was neccessary. I wasn’t implying the surgeon dis anything wrong in fact the second time I feel I was being selfish and rushed into the decision to have a c section and wish I had taken more time to decide 😉

  2. Wow thanks for sharing about your journey. When I was really young I thought cesareans sounded great. I think that was just ignorance and a fear of pain. I very nearly ended up with an emergency c section with my first (theatre was on standby when they managed to extract him from my vag using a vacuum and a very late, very ineffective epidural. The recovery was amazing though and I’ll be forever grateful to my lucky stars and those doctors for helping me avoid a cesarean, as I’ve had two more amazing natural births and wonderful recoveries. I’ve seen friends have some tough recoveries from cesareans and I don’t think it’s an easy option at all. Particularly so when infection occurs (and for you, with three little kids to care for as well as yourself, that just have been very challenging ).

    1. I’m glad you didn’t end up needing a cesarian! My first two were great but then the third happened lol! Oh well we are stronger because of it! Thanks for reading 🙂

  3. O you poor poor thing! That sounds horrifying! !! I had a friend that that happened to with her vaginal delivery. Take comfort knowing you can get that either way. You should be able to handle anything after that! !!!

  4. My breath caught in my throat reading your post. I did have two wonderful cesareans, and won’t ever have the opportunity to try for the third. But, I understand the thought of the numbness around the early days of baby’s life as we had some other difficulties in the early day’s of our first baby’s life and that shattered feeling is hard to forget.

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