Posted in mommyhood

I might as well get used to my couch

couch

I miss the village… A recent popular blog post about the village it takes to raise a kid. Or at least the village that used to help raise a kid.  This is particularly resonating with me tonight as I sit at my computer loaded with frustration.

A distant memory sit in my mind from seven years ago while still pregnant with my first-born. We were at the dinner table with the in-laws and they were telling us how they wanted to be the first called if a babysitter is needed, and yada yada yada.. and at first with only one baby, we could get anyone to watch her, however at the time we didn’t want to be away from her! New parenting mistake.. Learn from this one new mom’s! You need the time away! Take the help while you can get it!

Fast forward to three kids later, and I will be damned we have to beg a plead to get a night together! It’s honestly gotten to the point that we have just stopped trying, I remember having to beg for our anniversary because the hubby asked and he was told no, so i started messaging and saying how it was our ten-year anniversary could someone please watch the kids for us! It amazes me how life has changed. Suddenly no one is available ever to help me and the hubby have a moment of sanity.

I guess this is dredging up because I asked for a night out with the hubby and was politely told everyone has to work. The same excuses you know. and that’s fine but apparently the hubby also asked about this friday night because the Teenage mutant ninja turtles is coming out and he knows I want to see it, and the same reason was given. We haven’t asked in a while so I guess we thought maybe just maybe we could this one time…

I have started to hang out with my friend every now and then just to see a grown up movie, because I know that me and the hubby will never get to go to one. But that doesn’t stop his family from inviting him to the movies without me, or tubing etc.  In other words, the hubby and I never have time to work on our relationship.

It apparently takes two hours to put the kids to bed, so once that is done then it’s our bedtime. WE used to watch t.v. together but are too exhausted to do that anymore. we are just going through the motions lately. It’s honestly not a way to sustain a relationship but it’s our problem and no one elses I guess.

Where is the village? The families that support and help one another. The ones that offer to give parents a mental break. Both sets of grandparents live 20 minutes away and I can count on less than one hand the amount of times that they have spent time with my children in the last couple of months. I have even been told before by my parents well your sister needs us. Just because we are independent does not mean that we don’t need you. I need you..My kids need you…

Where is the village because I am sure not seeing it. I can’t tell you how frustrating it is to see a husband and wife enjoy a night out together on Facebook. Happy that they get to remember why they fell in love but frustrated for me because the last date my hubby and I had been in march and we had to beg for it because it was our anniversary. Yep, you read that right it was five months ago. We couldn’t drop the kids off till 6pm and we were so tired and stressed from getting the kids out the door that we honestly didn’t have the best time.

Forgive my whining tonight, but the last couple of weeks have been extremely stressful. School is fixing to start and we have the head lice that is not going along with Ballet starting.. It’s just piling up and I need to unload. I have unloaded on the kids for the past two days and yelled which I hate to do! But with nowhere to release the tension it just came out and loud.

After my very honest children informed me of how mean I was being, I thought that this would be an appropriate more therapeutic way to get the feelings out.  Here I am ready to have a meltdown so I will just keep blogging and get used to my couch because it’s not like I am going anywhere anytime soon!

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Author:

I am a wife of ten years, mom of three, Nurse and student! My household is quite chaotic and busy. With a six year old going on sixteen. we shall call her "Sassy", a four year old, who is stubborn as a mule, she shall be called " mini me", and a one year old, we will call "Buddy". Our girls do Ballet, and our son, well he is all boy! Very curious and always getting in to something. When we found out we were having a boy i laughed and said " god must have known we needed a little less diva in our life," Ha, little boys are quite the handful! I love my kids with all of my heart, and i love my job too! As a nurse leader i get to see many sides to healthcare and help encourage and guide new nurses. I love taking care of patients and being able to have grown up talk and then come home to my babies. The house is usually chaotic with lots of tantrums, and messes, but i wouldn't change it for a bit. On the rare occasion that i am able to have some spare time to myself, i like to read, bake and decorate cakes, and take pictures of my kiddos. Time to myself is rare so i decided to start this blog to have a creative outlet and connect with other working moms, who might be going through the same situations as myself. I hope you enjoy my thoughts and stories as a mom, student, wife and Nurse! These stories will range from Diapers and tutus to meetings and boardrooms! and everything that falls in between. Enjoy and thanks for visiting my site.

4 thoughts on “I might as well get used to my couch

  1. This really resonated with me because JUST LAST NIGHT my husband celebrated our 9th anniversary by going out for tacos with my two children. You know that things are bad when your 5 year old says, “But Mom, I don’t want to go with you on your anniversary because I want it to be special for you and Daddy.” And you reply, “Yeah, but we don’t have anyone to watch you, so we’re all going to go out to dinner together!”
    On our first anniversary, before we had kids, my husband and I spent a week in Istanbul and vowed to travel on our anniversary every year. On our second anniversary, when we had a newborn, we spent a weekend at a B+B in New Jersey. By the third anniversary, we got one night. And on the 4th, a few hours for dinner and a movie.
    Sigh.
    We all get frustrated. We all yell. We all put ourselves last.
    And we all need to support each other.
    Thanks for your honesty.
    Cheers.

    1. Aww bless that five year olds heart! So sweet! Yeah we had always said on our tenth anniversary we would go to hawaii and we’ll we got dinner, but barely. Thanks for appreciating the honesty! I normally try to keep my blog positive and upbeat but just very frustrated lately. Thanks for commenting it helps to know I’m not alone and you are right we need to support each other so thanks for yours 🙂

  2. April, I don’t have a wife or girlfriend that I have to worry about spendin’ time with, but I can fully sympathize with your feelin’s. Due to the nature of my livin’ arrangement, takin’ care of my mom 24 hours a day and never havin’ any time for me ’cause I can’t get anyone to stay with her for more than the time it takes me to go to the store of the doctor, is a major source of depression and anxiety for me. It has been more than 9 months since I have had ANY me time. All I can say is hang in there hon, I’ve been told that it’s gonna get better, not real sure I believe that though. Hugs to ya!

    1. Thanks Tim! It’s funny, I distinctly remember telling you to take some me time before and here I am not taking my own advice lol! All i want is to be able to have dinner with my husband without having to get up thirty times to refill someone’s drink and get food on my clothes lol! Oh well its just not meant to be yet, thanks for reading and your words of encouragement! It means a lot to me 🙂

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