Yesterday morning this post would have had an entirely different message. In fact it is sitting in the drafts as you read this. I was coming from a dark place in which I just couldn’t quite come up with the gratitude I have so often been proud to have. No matter the situation I have always tried to look on the bright side and with recent months I just couldn’t.
Feeling ashamed and embarrassed these feelings were kept to myself. We have had some financial troubles recently and within the last two weeks have proven to be more stress than I can handle. My husband’s company has unintentionally messed up his pay check and last week said that he owed them 15oo dollars! We were assured it would have been taken care of but not until this friday! Guess what? It has not been corrected.
Yesterday morning home with the kids had proven to be of no easy feat. Mini-me has yet again decided that she would rather act baby like and do nothing but whine and scream. In fact she did this most of the day. Once I fell into another trap of losing control of the situation and began to yell and scream and get so angry to the point that I had to walk away, I knew i could not find any happiness.
As the kids began to play I sat on the bathroom door and just cried. I cried until there were no more tears left and then I prayed. Pleading with the Lord to help me get through this stressful time in our lives with my sanity in tact. Telling the Lord that I know he doesn’t make mistakes and I must be the perfect mother for my kids or he would not have picked me for the job. Asking for a moment of silence to get over my anger and be en effective parent for my kids.
Then something amazing happened. Social media can be a bad thing at times but there are times when it is nothing short of amazing! I turned on Facebook to have that moment of peace and seen a post from Parents in Depth. It was an ad for Fingepainting in Pysch class by jay Morgan! A book that I had previously downloaded but hadn’t quite read. Learn how to be a conscious parent it said. I think it is safe to say that in the recent months my unconscious has been ruling the conscious.
The next natural thing was to begin reading the book, and that is what I did. I read about positive encouragement and how the whining from a child is often a sign of wanting attention. That if the child is not getting enough positive attention then they will resort to getting the negative attention because it is better than nothing at all. Talk about a reality check!
With a renewed focus and determination we tried this positive feedback thing! I praised her when she acted like a big girl and ignored her when she acted like a baby! Guess what it worked!! Today she has been functioning and helping me in the kitchen, she is being independent in the things a 5yo should be independent with! hallelujah
I would love to tell you that this moment was the moment I began to feel grateful, but it wasn’t. In the midst of all the drama and chaos I was Potty training a toddler! The potty training has been going very well at daycare and we just hadn’t focused on it at home until yesterday. It went very well. The Thankful came as my sweet little boy sat on the potty and let his pee come out of his body! He smiled with a grin from ear to ear and said “I did it!” He set to achieve a goal and did it! How wonderfully simple and innocent. His smile and happiness over going to the potty will stay with me forever! That is the moment I found my Thankful!
This morning We made Pumpkin french toast and pancakes while listening to Christmas music. There has not been any whining and I just allowed myself despite of our everyday stressors to be happy! The kids are playing happily as I sit here and type while the Thanksgiving Parade is playing in the background! Today I am happy! Today I am thankful for three beautiful children who I love more than anything and a Husband who isn’t perfect but in the grand scheme of things puts up with me and loves me anyways! I Hope that you are able to find your Thankful today as we celebrate this Holiday. This girl almost didn’t and will be keeping that dark and dreary post in the drafts as a reminder to myself to stop and enjoy life!
Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours!!!
disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Jay Morgan or his book! This is just simply my point of view!!!
photo credit: Booksamillion.com