Posted in acceptance

Remembering tragedy

Two years ago today I sat in disbelief as I watched the news that evening. If you are the parent of a school age child then you know exactly what I am referring to.

A gunman shot into Sandy Hook elementary school and took the lives of many young innocence and of some of the teachers who were trying to protect them. The feeling in the pit of my gut still sits with me today as I send my oldest to school ever morning. The feeling of fear that she may never return.

The fear began last year as she started kindergarten. Dropping her off at school for the first time with mixed emotions of complete and utter pride for her as well as being afraid of the unknown. I will never forget the day she told me about her practice drills and how intruder was one of the three. Complete shock came over me as the realization that in this day and age my then 6yo needed to learn to protect herself.  A fear that I wrote in a previous blog post  here,

I remember holding my babies that night with an iron clad grip and tears in my eyes. Just thanking the lord.  Thankful that I had my babies, that they were safe despite being many miles away from the tragedy. Also feeling  ashamed for being thankful that If someone had to lose their children it wasn’t me.

Christmas eve is always a fun event in our household. It is the only time that is just about me and the kids. Christmas day is a marathon run between my parents and the in-laws so it is typically quite the busy day for us. So on Christmas Eve we make cookies and reindeer food. We do crafts, read stories and get creative in any way that we can.


This picture is framed as a reminder to myself when motherhood becomes frustrating
This picture is framed as a reminder to myself when motherhood becomes frustrating

As we were making sugar cookies that year, some of the flour spilled and next thing I know is we are having a snowball fight! Laughing and throwing the snow is still one of my favorite memories. There was so much flour on the kitchen floor that the oldest began to make snow angels. I even took a video and posted on Facebook of the event.

My favorite memory
My favorite memory

Many moms asked me how I could let such a thing happen and how I was so brave. My response was simply this. There are patents who had presents under the tree for children who would not be there for Christmas. So if all I have to do is clean up a huge mess then so be it! It was a small price to pay for such a wonderful memory. My children were safe and that was all that mattered.

Hug your little ones a little tighter this season. Let them make that horrible mess in the name of fun and happiness. Life is so short and remember those lost little souls that past just two short years ago,  Dear God please be with those families this Christmas as they are no doubt experiencing a grief like no other!

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I am a wife of ten years, mom of three, Nurse and student! My household is quite chaotic and busy. With a six year old going on sixteen. we shall call her "Sassy", a four year old, who is stubborn as a mule, she shall be called " mini me", and a one year old, we will call "Buddy". Our girls do Ballet, and our son, well he is all boy! Very curious and always getting in to something. When we found out we were having a boy i laughed and said " god must have known we needed a little less diva in our life," Ha, little boys are quite the handful! I love my kids with all of my heart, and i love my job too! As a nurse leader i get to see many sides to healthcare and help encourage and guide new nurses. I love taking care of patients and being able to have grown up talk and then come home to my babies. The house is usually chaotic with lots of tantrums, and messes, but i wouldn't change it for a bit. On the rare occasion that i am able to have some spare time to myself, i like to read, bake and decorate cakes, and take pictures of my kiddos. Time to myself is rare so i decided to start this blog to have a creative outlet and connect with other working moms, who might be going through the same situations as myself. I hope you enjoy my thoughts and stories as a mom, student, wife and Nurse! These stories will range from Diapers and tutus to meetings and boardrooms! and everything that falls in between. Enjoy and thanks for visiting my site.

4 thoughts on “Remembering tragedy

  1. So glad that you and so many are paying attention to the important anniversary of the day. I’m not sure if it eases your mind at all, but as a teacher I truly think of each and every one of my students as my own children (even the ones who test my patience nonstop!) and I’m confident that I am not the only teacher who feels this way. We will take care of your little ones no matter what happens.

    Peace, love, and healing to Sandy Hook.

    1. Thank you and it does help! My Daughter’s Kindergarten and now first grade teacher have been amazing! I don’t know what we would do without the love of these and I am sure future teachers!

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