I seen you at the children’s museum with that look in your eye. A look all to familiar to myself as I have often felt it myself. It was the look of discontent, tiredness, and overall just checked out for the moment.
We were in the elevator together as you were trying to contain your two-year old son while screaming and thrashing around. otherwise known as he was having a tantrum. In a spit second you glanced at me and my well-behaved kids and felt the need to explain. He doesn’t like sharing you said and as if catching yourself explained further. Him being an only child and all.
What you didn’t see in my eyes is that I felt a kindred spirit in you right then. Sure you seen my kids and yes all three of them being patient and well-mannered in that elevator. But what you did not see is the events prior to going to the museum. Picture three children stuck indoors for days due to the gloomy weather that we have been having. That paints a pretty picture doesn’t it. By pretty I mean if you like the screaming kids, climbing off the wall and siblings kicking each other in the face kind of thing.
With only one child you are still figuring this thing out and guess what so am I! Don’t feel the need to explain the childs tantrum to anyone. We have all been there and it’ okay to let him just throw his fit because he is not getting his way. There is no judgement here. My own 2yo had one upstairs because his sister took the cars that he wanted to play with. The fact that he di as asked and rode the elevator without defiance has shocked the shit our of me too!
Once we were downstairs and the kids were let loose to play in forts and hear animal noises you sat down and stared at your phone while talking to your husband. This look of I am done on your face. I am here to tell you that it is ok. Let that little booger play so he will take a nice nap for you later.
Once again you sent a look my way. This one I know all too well. It is the look of longing, a look in your eyes that said why can’t I do that? Play with my kids like that. You see I was having fun with my kids that day, but honestly there are more times than not that I just let them play and I sit, relax and watch from complete and utter exhaustion. Today was just a good day!
These days aren’t every day and there are plenty where I want to pull my hair out. The kids are fighting or not listening, the laundry will be piling up and I will tell myself why! So if you take any message away from me today please let it be this.
Do not envy other mothers or feel the need to explain the tantrum. We are all just trying to survive our days the best that we can. I remember a moment where I was envious of my friend as we were leaving a bounce house place one day. Her kids listened and went straight to the car and well, I was literally dragging mine kicking and screaming to the car. It was the single most embarrassing moment of my life or so I thought at that moment. My fiend very sweetly pulled her car over and offered help, but I told her it was o.k. that we would make it there eventually. Later that day as if reading my mind she did something incredible. She sent me a message that said girl, don’t worry! I had to drag mine through the mall last week screaming and thought I was going to die. This gesture made me laugh so hard because the mom that I thought had it all together really didn’t.
The fact is none of us do. So take your moment to breathe. Sit down and stare at your phone if it helps. I am not judging you. You are doing an awesome job and your adorable son is living proof of that. You will play with the feeling of s him tomorrow I am sure once the feeling of stress disappears. Go to the movies or get a pedicure, take a moment for just you! This is the hardest job in the world and we are all here to support you!
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