Posted in mommyhood

To the mom at the children museum, I am not Judging you

Searching for the moon!

I seen you at the children’s museum with that look in your eye. A look all to familiar to myself as  I have often felt it myself. It was the look of discontent, tiredness, and overall just checked out for the moment.

We were in the elevator together as you were trying to contain your two-year old son while screaming and thrashing around. otherwise known as he was having a tantrum. In a spit second you glanced at me and my well-behaved kids and felt the need to explain. He doesn’t like sharing you said and as if catching yourself explained further. Him being an only child and all.

What you didn’t see in my eyes is that I felt a kindred spirit in you right then. Sure you seen my kids and yes all three of them being patient and well-mannered in that elevator. But what you did not see is the events prior to going to the museum. Picture three children stuck indoors for days due to the gloomy weather that we have been having. That paints a pretty picture doesn’t it. By pretty I mean if you like the screaming kids, climbing off the wall and siblings kicking each other in the face kind of thing.

With only one child you are still figuring this thing out and guess what so am I! Don’t feel the need to explain the childs tantrum to anyone. We have all been there and it’ okay to let him just throw his fit because he is not getting his way. There is no judgement here. My own 2yo had one upstairs because his sister took the cars that he wanted to play with. The fact that he di as asked and rode the elevator without defiance has shocked the shit our of me too!

Once we were downstairs and the kids were let loose to play in forts and hear animal noises you sat down and stared at your phone while talking to your husband. This look  of I am done on your face. I am here to tell you that it is ok. Let that little booger play so he will take a nice nap for you later.

Once again you sent a look my way. This one I know all too well. It is the look of longing, a look in your eyes that said why can’t I do that? Play with my kids like that. You see I was having fun with my kids that day, but honestly there are more times than not that I just let them play and I sit, relax and watch from complete and utter exhaustion. Today was just a good day!

These days aren’t every day and there are plenty where I want to pull my hair out. The kids are fighting or not listening, the laundry will be piling up and I will tell myself why! So if you take any message away from me today please let it be this.

Do not envy other mothers or feel the need to explain the tantrum. We are all just trying to survive our days the best that we can. I remember a moment where I was envious of my friend as we were leaving a bounce house place one day. Her kids listened and went straight to the car and well, I was literally dragging mine kicking and screaming to the car. It was the single most embarrassing moment of my life or so I thought at that moment. My fiend very sweetly pulled her car over and offered help, but I told her it was o.k. that we would make it there eventually. Later that day as if reading my mind  she did something incredible. She sent me a message that said girl, don’t worry! I had to drag mine through the mall last week screaming and thought I was going to die. This gesture made me laugh so hard because the mom that I thought had it all together really didn’t.

The fact is none of us do. So take your moment to breathe. Sit down and stare at your phone if it helps. I am not judging you. You are doing an awesome job and your adorable son is living proof of that. You will play with the feeling of s him tomorrow I am sure once the feeling of stress disappears. Go to the movies or get a pedicure, take a moment for just you! This is the hardest job in the world and we are all here to support you!

enjoying a sweet moment with my Buddy!

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I am a wife of ten years, mom of three, Nurse and student! My household is quite chaotic and busy. With a six year old going on sixteen. we shall call her "Sassy", a four year old, who is stubborn as a mule, she shall be called " mini me", and a one year old, we will call "Buddy". Our girls do Ballet, and our son, well he is all boy! Very curious and always getting in to something. When we found out we were having a boy i laughed and said " god must have known we needed a little less diva in our life," Ha, little boys are quite the handful! I love my kids with all of my heart, and i love my job too! As a nurse leader i get to see many sides to healthcare and help encourage and guide new nurses. I love taking care of patients and being able to have grown up talk and then come home to my babies. The house is usually chaotic with lots of tantrums, and messes, but i wouldn't change it for a bit. On the rare occasion that i am able to have some spare time to myself, i like to read, bake and decorate cakes, and take pictures of my kiddos. Time to myself is rare so i decided to start this blog to have a creative outlet and connect with other working moms, who might be going through the same situations as myself. I hope you enjoy my thoughts and stories as a mom, student, wife and Nurse! These stories will range from Diapers and tutus to meetings and boardrooms! and everything that falls in between. Enjoy and thanks for visiting my site.

25 thoughts on “To the mom at the children museum, I am not Judging you

  1. I have been trying to make a conscious effort lately to fight that overtired feeling. I went to Meijer and was playing with my 8 month old, getting her to giggle, and making silly sounds in line. A woman, probably in her 50s, turned around and said, “You probably aren’t that cheery at 2am, are you? This must be your first.” I think she felt like I was stupidly naive or maybe she was envious. I just smiled and returned the small talk but I wanted to tell her that I struggle. That I was so lighthearted in appearance because I was forcing myself to act that way. That I worry that I’m going through the motions so often that my beautiful daughter will start to notice. I agree with you, we have to stop the judgments. But we also need to start congratulating each other in those beautiful moments! To look at moms who “have it all together” in the moment and say, “I love the good days!” Because we need to have that transparency every day! ❤

    1. I couldn’t agree wit you more and think this is one of my favorite comments 🙂 Good for you for just turn around and go back to playing with your daughter! There are so many days that I have been checked out and just need a break so yesterday I decided to be a conscious parent and we really had a lot of fun at the museum! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment 🙂

  2. I agree with this so much. I think a lot of parents worry when their children behave differently then others in public. I still do sometimes, but I also know that no two children are alike and parents honestly cannot control EVERYTHING their child does. It’s nice to see moms like you who are understanding and compassionate enough to not think badly of her parenting. I wish more people were more understanding with things like that. Especially, people without children.

    1. I think it is hard for people without children to understand. I know that before I had kids I always that well when I have kids that will not happen etc. Now I am a reformed mother judger lol! Having your own children will do that to you! It would be nice if parents could just go in public without that fear though! Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂

  3. Agreed! I always feel kinship with parents whose kids are freaking out in public and can only hope that those parents are returning the favor. 🙂 They probably are. 🙂

  4. Well written and well said. In my two weeks off I’ve gotten a mix of looks while out with my kids (maybe I’d finally gotten enough sleep to notice). Sometimes they behave and we’re graced with those “benevolent aren’t they cute looks” looks and there are other times I can’t keep a five and two year old together or they are climbing where they shouldn’t be and I get what I think are “keep your kids in line” judgemental looks. Likely they aren’t all that. I know some are, but I also know much of it is me judging how I’m doing as a parent based on behaviour of a five and two year old who get tired and are still learning impulse control. I should stop this here and maybe do a post of my own – again – well said.

    PS: Is your son obsessed with the moon? My two year old currently is.

    1. Can’t wait to read your post! And I agree we judge ourselves too harsh on being a mom and slowly but surely I am learning to stop doing that! We are all doing the best with what we have! Yes my 2yo is completely obsessed with the moon! He takes a flashlight and shines it on the wall all day and says look momma! It’s the moon! It’s quite adorable actually 🙂

      1. Huh. Whenever we are outside after sunset (and sometimes during the day) mine is looking skyward trying to find it and will gleefully scream out MOON! when she does. It’s pretty adorable. We also have a little bug and unicorn for bedtime that flash lights in her room, so maybe it started there. Either way, I love it.

  5. This! We need more of this! More understanding between moms, and less judgement. Thank you for writing this — it’s a great reminder to all of us to remember that we’ve all had those days when we just want to check out for a few minutes while the kids do their own thing.

  6. Great post!! Us Mom’s need to come up with a hand signal for “I understand”. There are so many that give that “I’m sorry” look and we totally understand. Let’s let 2015 be the year of the Mom’s sticking together! 🙂

  7. Love this! I try not to look at people when my son is having a tantrum. We need more moms like you who don’t judge. I saw your post on the Mommy A to Z blog hop. =)

  8. This post was on point! It is easy to judge other moms, or even to think “Thank God that’s not my kid (today),” but I love the compassion with which you’ve written this. My four-year-old is (slowly) coming out of the tantrum/attitude stage, but we still have our moments for sure, and I always appreciate an understanding glance or comment from moms who’ve been there. Your post has inspired me to share a “been there, it gets better, we were there yesterday, hang in there” comment more often!

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