Posted in acceptance

My thoughs on last night… Let’s get rid of the girl comment and focus on no more bullying for all

Just like a girl is a phrase that has stuck in my mind since last night’s Game. A commercial that’s intent was to empower and encourage girls from a very young age. Surprisingly to myself the message conveyed did not and still does not sit well with me.

Thinking I was reading too much into it I took a quick glance at my sister-in-law who matched my What the Feck look in its full entirety. Okay, well she’s a good Christian girl so her’s was more of a what the heck look, but mine was most difinitly a  what the feck! Then I glance at my 7yo daughter who was watching the game at that moment and noticed the confused, unassured look on her face and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

My daughter has never once in her life heard the phrase like a girl! It s not a phrase used in my house and not one that as of yet, she has heard in school. I can see how this would confuse her to look at the t.v. and see these girls with their almost sad looks on their faces demonstrating what it means to “run like a girl”. The last I checked we have not lived in the caveman years for quite some time, and gender stereotypes no longer existed.

Maybe I am making too much out of it, but seriously. My daughter for example loves football, plays with pokemon cards and rather enjoys minecraft. She also loves to play with barbies and dress up like a princess. On most Sundays she can be found yelling a the t.v. just like her dad over the opposing team scoring their touchdown. She is not girlie, she is not a tom boy, she is simply just her!

Boys and girls alike both have insecurities as they hit puberty. Boys just like girls have eating disorders, become prostitutes, do poorly at school due to being picked on and lack of confidence. The sudden rage in hormones prone these young people  to have a heightened emotional state. It’s purely biology.

The way we react to it and exploit it in the media is where I think we can improve. Young girls way to skinny and boys looking way too mature on t.v. can be a fine example of what I mean by what the above statement. Let’s get rid of the stereotypical roles to begin with and just look at the individual person.

Take Danica Patrick for example. Does she race cars like a girl? No, she races cars like a skilled and trained racecar driver. What about Serena Williams, does she play tennis like a girl. Most of us would agree that she plays tennis like a champ. On the flip side, Tom Brady doesn’t play football like a man, he plays football like a skilled trained athlete.

If we want to empower our young ones, then we need to show them pictures of ordinary people doing great things. Let’s teach them how to stand up to bullies, and build their self-confidence at home. I tell my children every day that they are smart, acknowledge when they work hard on the things that do not come easy. For my oldest that subject is math. It does not come easy but she works hard to understand the concepts. I tell my son he is strong and beautiful, because guess what he is both of those things.

Now, I realize that despite all of my efforts, I lose my cool factor to some degree once my kids start school. This is when the peer relationships began to form and have greater importance on the kids. One kid can be a bully and tell a child he or she is fat or useless and the kid is suddenly using that as their personal inner voice.

If we want to start a campaign anti bullying is a much more worthwhile campaign. It simply should not be tolerated, yet somehow the bully syndrome has yet to change. Just the other day a friend posted on Facebook that her child was being choked on the school bus and the bus driver did nothing. If an adult did this to another adult it is a crime. In what way should this type of behavior be tolerated. It saddens me to see that this still continues in our society.

I beg to ask, are the bigger problems that we are stereotyping  girls in general or is the bigger problem that we need to just stop bullying period. I say let’s stop the bullying, stop tolerating it in schools and have harsher punishments for those that bully.

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Author:

I am a wife of ten years, mom of three, Nurse and student! My household is quite chaotic and busy. With a six year old going on sixteen. we shall call her "Sassy", a four year old, who is stubborn as a mule, she shall be called " mini me", and a one year old, we will call "Buddy". Our girls do Ballet, and our son, well he is all boy! Very curious and always getting in to something. When we found out we were having a boy i laughed and said " god must have known we needed a little less diva in our life," Ha, little boys are quite the handful! I love my kids with all of my heart, and i love my job too! As a nurse leader i get to see many sides to healthcare and help encourage and guide new nurses. I love taking care of patients and being able to have grown up talk and then come home to my babies. The house is usually chaotic with lots of tantrums, and messes, but i wouldn't change it for a bit. On the rare occasion that i am able to have some spare time to myself, i like to read, bake and decorate cakes, and take pictures of my kiddos. Time to myself is rare so i decided to start this blog to have a creative outlet and connect with other working moms, who might be going through the same situations as myself. I hope you enjoy my thoughts and stories as a mom, student, wife and Nurse! These stories will range from Diapers and tutus to meetings and boardrooms! and everything that falls in between. Enjoy and thanks for visiting my site.

9 thoughts on “My thoughs on last night… Let’s get rid of the girl comment and focus on no more bullying for all

  1. I agree with you completely. First off, I will encourage my daughter to do whatever she wants! If she wants to hunt, fish, dress up, play football, cheer, I don’t care. Girls and boys alike should be encouraged to do whatever makes them happy! I also agree that we just need to stop bullying all together. Bullying is such a huge issue in schools now and many times adults look the other way and say they are just being kids, but there comes a point when adults do need to step in. I think the best we can do is teach our children that everyone is different and that it is not nice to tease others for being different and hope that other parents do the same. Maybe our children can set an example for the bullies! Great post!

    1. Thank you for your comments. It is so Tru that people just say kids will be kids… what! They need to be taught respect and courtesy and if not then discipline them for their behabior. Now I’m not naive enough to think kids always do what the person says nor do I believe that we can always control our kids. But if we display the behavior and they continue to bully then maybe that’s the sign of a bigger issue with the child that needs investigating.

  2. Though I understand what you’re saying I’m not sure I totally agree.
    For example, I bake. I love to do it and have since I was young. Cookies, muffins, loafs etc…and every year around the holidays I bring some of my baking in to share with co-workers at the office. Since last year we have 4 new women in the office who had not experienced this. So what was their reaction when I made the rounds with goodies this year? Each one’s reaction was a slightly different version of: “Oh your wife likes to bake.” 4 grown women from mid-20’s to early 40’s in age and raised in North America, automatically assumed that if a male co-worker is offering home-baked goodies, they had to have been made by his wife!!!
    In fact two of them refused to believe that is was me until I started reciting one of my cookie recipes to them by heart…
    I’m not to saying that bullying and domestic violence are not very important (maybe more important) issues as well. Hopefully for the next generation it won’t be a concern, but for grown-ups in 2015 traditional gender role stereotyping is still very much an issue.

    1. that’s so silly to me, I think I just see so many men stay at home and woman work, as well as wonderful male nurses that I see the roles blurry. hmm, now you made me want some of those baked goodies 😉

  3. I agree with what you’re saying but I also agree with what Norm is saying. You’d think in the 21st century we’d all get it and yet gender stereotyping is happening…and by young people. I think that particular ad though isn’t targeted at children because you’re right, if they didn’t realise it even existed, it would bring up questions. But I do think ads that motivate women/girls are a must because we need to break the gender stereotype that many girls/women have of themselves (let alone what society thinks of them). I like the #thisgirlcan ad that was released lately.

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