Posted in mommyhood

Today I wanted to run

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Today was the day that I wanted to run away. I wanted to run, anywhere just far,far away. Maybe it was the because I was in the throes of a replicated civil war like feud with the kids all day. Leaving me to feel like it was the north s. the south, me vs. them.  Some days motherhood is nothing short of amazing and others your just thankful that you all ended in one piece. Today is one of those days. Fair warning, you are about to read the rantings of an exhausted, sleep deprived mother who feels enslaved to the needs of her children.

From the moment these ungrateful sweet little darlings of mine awakened it has been mommy I need this and I need that. Not just the normal need stuff but the whiny kind of behavior that makes you want to knock the shit out of them,give them a hug and tell them it will all be okay.

After two hours of non stop whining, fussing and sibling spats I decided we were going to play outside and get some fresh air. This started pretty good and the kids played well together allowing me a minute to go back inside and clean the kitchen. Except those little monsters kids decided to go back and forth and back and forth until the sound of the sliding glass door felt like nails on a chalkboard to me and I was ready  to whoop some ass. Then a bee must have been outside because all three kids came running screaming that there was a bee. imagine that a bee outdoors huh.

Starting lunch the kids asked what I was making, so I told them fish. Well you would have thought I was telling them that I was making raw sushi or something. OOh that’s disgusting, they wanted fish sticks! uggh so I went ahead and made fish sticks. I did not feel like yet another battle over lunch.

The husband came home at 2pm and I was ready to get the hell out of dodge. except I hadn’t showered, brushed my teeth or anything so that first. then I went to Target and sat in the Starbucks cafe drinking a latte in peace before getting the last few items needed for dinner.

Once home it was more whining, nagging exhausting behavior and then time to make dinner. Which would be fine except I was making tacos and you guessed it the kids said it was gross. Deciding that this day had already gone to hell I told the kids that they had to try it before they could have anything else to eat. You would have thought I was killing them! Full on wailing, screaming and 5yo was the worst! Kicking, screaming and just not having it! What kids do not like tacos?

That was it, I had reached my breaking point. Informing the hubby that he was now I kid duty I cleaned the kitchen and locked myself in my bedroom. He can handle them, I am all done. If they see mommy then they want mommy to get everything. The hubby offered to get 5yo her milk and she screamed no mommy do it!

So now, with my feet killing me, my eyes heavy, the house a complete disaster 9(except for the kitchen) I am done, y white flag is waived in surrender. Motherhood is exhausting and tiresome, and I do not have to love it every minute of the day. Today we merely survived and that has to be enough. I have given all I can today.

Some may wonder if I am worried about my kids reading this when they are older and you know what I will encourage them to do so. This feeling of frustration needs to be seen. They need to know that it is okay to be stressed, frustrated and exhausted. It’s how we choose to handle these situations that makes up out character. As much as I wanted to I do not yell, lose my temper or self-control. There were times when it could have easily happened. Instead I cared for and loved them. I kissed boo boos, and made sure they were fed and well cared for. Once I reached the point of no return I gave it al over to the husband and closed the door. Now relaxing to the soothing sounds of Ed Sheeran.

tomorrow is another day and I am grateful for that. Today I survived the throes of motherhood and all its ugliness. If anyone ever says motherhood does not have an ugly said needs to come to my house, and if they believe that then they are lieing to themselves because it’s there. My aching feet and dark circles that forever sit underneath my eyes serve as the battle scars from today. Tomorrow is another day and thank the lord for that!

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Author:

I am a wife of ten years, mom of three, Nurse and student! My household is quite chaotic and busy. With a six year old going on sixteen. we shall call her "Sassy", a four year old, who is stubborn as a mule, she shall be called " mini me", and a one year old, we will call "Buddy". Our girls do Ballet, and our son, well he is all boy! Very curious and always getting in to something. When we found out we were having a boy i laughed and said " god must have known we needed a little less diva in our life," Ha, little boys are quite the handful! I love my kids with all of my heart, and i love my job too! As a nurse leader i get to see many sides to healthcare and help encourage and guide new nurses. I love taking care of patients and being able to have grown up talk and then come home to my babies. The house is usually chaotic with lots of tantrums, and messes, but i wouldn't change it for a bit. On the rare occasion that i am able to have some spare time to myself, i like to read, bake and decorate cakes, and take pictures of my kiddos. Time to myself is rare so i decided to start this blog to have a creative outlet and connect with other working moms, who might be going through the same situations as myself. I hope you enjoy my thoughts and stories as a mom, student, wife and Nurse! These stories will range from Diapers and tutus to meetings and boardrooms! and everything that falls in between. Enjoy and thanks for visiting my site.

26 thoughts on “Today I wanted to run

    1. it must be! so far so good today so here’s to hoping it is a better day! I bought some bubbles on my little outing yesterday if we have the same day today then we are going outside to blow some bubbles

  1. We all have days like this, I call them “maintenance days” where we literally maintain the status quo. Taking it as easy as you can and considering it a win if everyone gets fed at some stage! Love your honesty! 🙂

    1. yes! it is definitely a win that all were fed, even if they wouldn’t eat my tacos lol! Thank you for appreciating the honesty. I try to stay upbeat but sometimes you just need to show that there are bad to go with the good! parenting is about the ups and the downs, thanks for reading and commenting 🙂

  2. I feel your pain. I have had those day, probably many. I am glad you go some time to yourself. Good luck with the rest of a your week. I am sure it will improve with the little monkeys.

  3. Hugs – and glad you made it through the day. Nothing wrong with feeling this way. I’ve since had many talks with my mother where she’s admitted to feeling this way at times when we were young. The important part was we never felt it then and she had a support network at the time that helped HER through it. Like you hopefully have now!

  4. Yep I’ve had one of those days myself! Just got both kids to bed though so I’m going to have a well earned glass of wine. And keep telling myself tomorrow is a new day.

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