Today was the day that I wanted to run away. I wanted to run, anywhere just far,far away. Maybe it was the because I was in the throes of a replicated civil war like feud with the kids all day. Leaving me to feel like it was the north s. the south, me vs. them. Some days motherhood is nothing short of amazing and others your just thankful that you all ended in one piece. Today is one of those days. Fair warning, you are about to read the rantings of an exhausted, sleep deprived mother who feels enslaved to the needs of her children.
From the moment these
ungrateful sweet little darlings of mine awakened it has been mommy I need this and I need that. Not just the normal need stuff but the whiny kind of behavior that makes you want to knock the shit out of them,give them a hug and tell them it will all be okay.
After two hours of non stop whining, fussing and sibling spats I decided we were going to play outside and get some fresh air. This started pretty good and the kids played well together allowing me a minute to go back inside and clean the kitchen. Except those little
monsters kids decided to go back and forth and back and forth until the sound of the sliding glass door felt like nails on a chalkboard to me and I was ready to whoop some ass. Then a bee must have been outside because all three kids came running screaming that there was a bee. imagine that a bee outdoors huh.
Starting lunch the kids asked what I was making, so I told them fish. Well you would have thought I was telling them that I was making raw sushi or something. OOh that’s disgusting, they wanted fish sticks! uggh so I went ahead and made fish sticks. I did not feel like yet another battle over lunch.
The husband came home at 2pm and I was ready to get the hell out of dodge. except I hadn’t showered, brushed my teeth or anything so that first. then I went to Target and sat in the Starbucks cafe drinking a latte in peace before getting the last few items needed for dinner.
Once home it was more whining, nagging exhausting behavior and then time to make dinner. Which would be fine except I was making tacos and you guessed it the kids said it was gross. Deciding that this day had already gone to hell I told the kids that they had to try it before they could have anything else to eat. You would have thought I was killing them! Full on wailing, screaming and 5yo was the worst! Kicking, screaming and just not having it! What kids do not like tacos?
That was it, I had reached my breaking point. Informing the hubby that he was now I kid duty I cleaned the kitchen and locked myself in my bedroom. He can handle them, I am all done. If they see mommy then they want mommy to get everything. The hubby offered to get 5yo her milk and she screamed no mommy do it!
So now, with my feet killing me, my eyes heavy, the house a complete disaster 9(except for the kitchen) I am done, y white flag is waived in surrender. Motherhood is exhausting and tiresome, and I do not have to love it every minute of the day. Today we merely survived and that has to be enough. I have given all I can today.
Some may wonder if I am worried about my kids reading this when they are older and you know what I will encourage them to do so. This feeling of frustration needs to be seen. They need to know that it is okay to be stressed, frustrated and exhausted. It’s how we choose to handle these situations that makes up out character. As much as I wanted to I do not yell, lose my temper or self-control. There were times when it could have easily happened. Instead I cared for and loved them. I kissed boo boos, and made sure they were fed and well cared for. Once I reached the point of no return I gave it al over to the husband and closed the door. Now relaxing to the soothing sounds of Ed Sheeran.
tomorrow is another day and I am grateful for that. Today I survived the throes of motherhood and all its ugliness. If anyone ever says motherhood does not have an ugly said needs to come to my house, and if they believe that then they are lieing to themselves because it’s there. My aching feet and dark circles that forever sit underneath my eyes serve as the battle scars from today. Tomorrow is another day and thank the lord for that!