It’s amazing how something will hit you right between the eyes and make you say oh snap! If you have been following along then you know that I have been recently searching for a job and a search that has been stressful to say the least. I have felt more emotions in the past two months than I have ever thought possible. Most recently stressed and anxious to the point I was considering seeing a doctor for help coping.
Wednesday is the girls Ballet days and I always enjoy taking them. We usually get dinner after and it is just our special time together each week. Something that I wasn’t always able to do when I had my demanding job, so it has been nice to be able to take them every Wednesday without fail. while driving home the girls and I were discussing the upcoming fair. It’s a little carnival across from our house that the girls enjoy each year. it’s perfect for the small kids versus the big fair that comes in October.
What amazes me is the things that kids remember. Do you know that my five-year old still remembers this ladybug that she wanted to win last year and didn’t. She out of the blue says mom, I’m getting that ladybug this year! I’m going to win it! The sheer determination in her heart as she expressed her goal with such motivation astounded me. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that there probably would be a different animal this year. Then as the car fell silent for just a split second she says ” Never give up!”
I could feel the hand of god on my shoulder as I knew that he meant this conversation to happen. There are no mistakes and everything happens for a reason. We may not know why, but it does. The previous days leading up to this discussion I have been completely anxious to the point of shaking. Stressing over what happens next, and feeling loss like I wanted to give up and just wallow in my self-pity. Then that amazing, wise and stubborn 5yo made me see what I was doing.
As a parent we think of how we will teach our children and I find that mine are teaching me. The next morning I woke up feeling at ease! A sense of calm that I have not felt in some time. I took the kids to school and came home to work on homework and the phone rang! It was my most current interviews giving me an update and telling me they want to extend an offer informally until all the proper channels have been gone through! Yes!!!!
Now I can breathe a little easier, smile a little more and get ready for my life’s next adventure! If you are ever feeling stressed or feel like a failure I advise you to have a talk with your children. In three little words my child helped me to realize what I was doing right and I will never take them for granted again. I can work and be mom too. it may not look the way I thought it was going to look but this will be better. I will be able to come home from work and leave work at work. Thank you to all for your words of encouragement and support as this has been a difficult time but there is a light at the end of the tunnel finally!
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