Posted in acceptance

Nurturing into Compassion

1000speakAs my son looked up at me this weekend with his sad, pitiful red sickly eyes. I knew what he was asking me. He cried out to me and said momma more times than I can count and each time I could tell without him asking. At two years old this little one is an old soul and he just simply wanted to know why. Why do I have to be sick momma he seemed to say.

Now he just has a simple sinus infection but this one has kicked his little ass and that of his mom’s as well. We are exhausted, we are tired we are in this together. I am his mom, I will love him, I will nurture him even though in the end I may want to run away for a few days to get some much-needed introverted alone time.

My answer to his question is simple. Without Suffering there would be no compassion. Compassion does not come naturally and is a feeling more than a learned behavior. Much like empathy is the way we feel towards a person and his or her situation. Compassion comes much of the time after we are placed in another person’s shoes. Or given joy as a result of someone else’s compassion towards us.

After my son was born and I had to have a wound vac for two months ( another story for another time) I suddenly had a renewed compassion for my patients as a nurse. It is not unheard of for nurses to lose compassion with all the sadness we see day to day. It can harden us. I had been in their shoes trying to get a ride to the wound center three days a week. Let me tell you, it is harder than people think. You will never ever hear me get upset with a patient for missing an appointment ever again. I felt their pain.

But I digress. I think that people of children or are nurtured by their mothers or mother figures in their lives are the ones who are able to find that compassion in life. Compassion toward others who are ill, struggling and hold high regard to human life.

I can’t help but think that the murderers in the world who have no regard to human life must have not been nurtured as a child. If they felt that love as a child then maybe, just maybe they would think twice before pulling the trigger. I also realize that this is not in every case, that despite some parent’s efforts a murderer is just a murderer.

I think about those mom’s who have to find out that their children have committed the ultimate crime. How heart breaking it must be to know that they are capable of such acts. Maybe deep down they have always known. Maybe they were just doing the best that they could and maybe just maybe someone needed to show them a little compassion as well. The single mom who works two jobs and is barely home to spend time with her children.

We need to remember to nurture our children and pick caregivers who will nurture them as well. My two-year old’s daycare teacher is like a second mom to him and for that I could not be more thankful. We also need to remember to nurture each other.  Give a warm meal to the old man standing on the street holding his sign telling you he is hungry.  Chances are he is a war vet who fought hard for our country and our freedom. Offer some assistance to a stressed out mom in the grocery line as her kid is screaming and she is bouncing him on he hip while attempting to pay the cashier. We have all been there.

Isn’t Compassion and act of nurturing anyway? Providing for someone in need. loving them, taking care of them. It is all intertwined. I can’t help but think the world would be a much better place if we all nurtured on another. Starting from birth, we must nurture, show compassion, and show our love for one another. Let’s start right now and maybe, just maybe there will be a few less murders in the world.

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Author:

I am a wife of ten years, mom of three, Nurse and student! My household is quite chaotic and busy. With a six year old going on sixteen. we shall call her "Sassy", a four year old, who is stubborn as a mule, she shall be called " mini me", and a one year old, we will call "Buddy". Our girls do Ballet, and our son, well he is all boy! Very curious and always getting in to something. When we found out we were having a boy i laughed and said " god must have known we needed a little less diva in our life," Ha, little boys are quite the handful! I love my kids with all of my heart, and i love my job too! As a nurse leader i get to see many sides to healthcare and help encourage and guide new nurses. I love taking care of patients and being able to have grown up talk and then come home to my babies. The house is usually chaotic with lots of tantrums, and messes, but i wouldn't change it for a bit. On the rare occasion that i am able to have some spare time to myself, i like to read, bake and decorate cakes, and take pictures of my kiddos. Time to myself is rare so i decided to start this blog to have a creative outlet and connect with other working moms, who might be going through the same situations as myself. I hope you enjoy my thoughts and stories as a mom, student, wife and Nurse! These stories will range from Diapers and tutus to meetings and boardrooms! and everything that falls in between. Enjoy and thanks for visiting my site.

6 thoughts on “Nurturing into Compassion

  1. I couldn’t agree more. Compassion and empathy are the two things we MUST teach our children, in order to change this very self-centered, power-mad world.

    And I totally understand what you describe about compassion fatigue. I dealt with that when I had to take on what was effectively a single-parent role when my husband was seriously ill for many years. After a time I couldn’t feel compassion for him any more. It’s a terrible place to be in.

    1. I can imagine how hard and challenging that was and can see losing compassion over it! It’s hard to teach our children compassion when we are so busy day to day but it is a must!

    1. Thank you and oh yes we have had our share of those too! My son got his tubes put in before he was even a year old it was so bad. Here’s to hoping when they fall out we will not have to do it again.

  2. Hear hear! Nurture those around us and yes – find those who will nurture those we love. I love our daycare provider – been with us since my 5-year-old was a little under one and my kids adore her and I know she truly cares about them. It’s a wonderfully nurturing environment. Same with their grandparents and our close friends.

    Surrounding yourself with those who show kindness and compassion (and investing back in them) is wonderfully self-compassionate in itself.

    So sorry to hear your son is sick. I hope he feels better and everyone is a bit more rested soon!

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