Posted in mommyhood

Captuing a Twinkle in Time

A month old
A month old

I lay you in your crib reading brown bear, brown bear. You chant the rhymes with me as you have learned them by heart. Then it’s on to Polar Bear, Polar Bear… Eric Carle being upon your favorite books with Sandra Boynton coming in second.

You have been having fever and feeling ill, so after seven of your most favorite books I decided to make you lay down and rub your back while singing twinkle-twinkle little star. Attempting to mix the song choice up I went on to I love you, but you would not have it. Twinkle, Twinkle little star it is.You normally do not like to be sung to and never really have, not even as a little baby, but today you needed it.

As I sang the song, over and over rubbing your back, your eyes started to flutter. fluttering back and forth as you attempt to fight the sleep I took it in. The sight of your crib, the scent of your freshly bathed skin, the feel of your tiny back underneath my hand as I soothe you to sleep. You attempted to fight it, but succumbed to the lullaby and comfort of your mothers touch.

At two years old you are already bigger than I can imagine. Always trying to catch up with your sister’s you have always grown and matured a little too fast. You like to wear fedora’s and I consider you an old soul. Soon we will get you a what we will call your big boy bed. This will be the last crib, the last changing table, the last rocking glider. This is the last moments for this mom to have a baby.

Once the remnants of the nursery are gone and all things baby are taken away, we will only have these moments in time. These memories that only I will remember.  The ones where you need your mothers comfort, her gentle touch. It will become less and less as you get older through the years. You will begin to need me less.

I will equally miss these moments and relish the new ones as well. Your first day of kindergarten, your first soccer game, your first girlfriend. ( okay, not really that one). I will look forward to it all while thinking He will always be my baby. He will always be that little baby that stopped crying every time he was placed on my chest. That special bond will never go away. You and I will always have that comfort in silence because when you love someone so much a simple silence is all you need.

I’m writing this to you on the brink of your big boy adventures simply so that in the event that I forget, you will not. Long after I am gone hopefully when you are much older, and after what will be  inevitable memories that are not as sweet. You know, those

Two Years old!
Two Years old!

teenage years are just rough on anyone. But you can look back and know without a shadow of a doubt that your mom, she loved you more than life itself. That will never change.If you need me when you get older, just say the word and I am there. if you think that I have stopped loving you, then fear not because I never will. There is nothing on this earth that you can do to cause me to stop loving you. I will push you,  I will hold expectations, I will love you. Because deep down you will always be my little baby boy. I love you through and through!

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Author:

I am a wife of ten years, mom of three, Nurse and student! My household is quite chaotic and busy. With a six year old going on sixteen. we shall call her "Sassy", a four year old, who is stubborn as a mule, she shall be called " mini me", and a one year old, we will call "Buddy". Our girls do Ballet, and our son, well he is all boy! Very curious and always getting in to something. When we found out we were having a boy i laughed and said " god must have known we needed a little less diva in our life," Ha, little boys are quite the handful! I love my kids with all of my heart, and i love my job too! As a nurse leader i get to see many sides to healthcare and help encourage and guide new nurses. I love taking care of patients and being able to have grown up talk and then come home to my babies. The house is usually chaotic with lots of tantrums, and messes, but i wouldn't change it for a bit. On the rare occasion that i am able to have some spare time to myself, i like to read, bake and decorate cakes, and take pictures of my kiddos. Time to myself is rare so i decided to start this blog to have a creative outlet and connect with other working moms, who might be going through the same situations as myself. I hope you enjoy my thoughts and stories as a mom, student, wife and Nurse! These stories will range from Diapers and tutus to meetings and boardrooms! and everything that falls in between. Enjoy and thanks for visiting my site.

7 thoughts on “Captuing a Twinkle in Time

  1. Awwwww! I read Brown Bear and Polar Bear to my girlies…. They are 16 and 18 now. Their childhood went by like a flash. I seriously can’t believe they are young women.

    Now I’m depressed…I’m going to the basement to read Brown Bear, Brown Bear and watch video cassettes of Barney episodes.

  2. You’re killin me girl! Love this and hated it all at the same time. I am not looking forward to the kids “growing out of mommy”. With twins, the hugs and cuddles feel endless right now but I know when it ends, there will be a huge void. Bah. The crying and fighting can stop anytime now…but keep those hugs forever.

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