Posted in mommyhood

When you hear the words OCD tendencies and Symptoms of Depression…

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For those of  you that follow my blog regularly then you can recall a post in which we decided to have a counselor evaluate our 7yo. Feel free to read about it here. We could tell that something was going on in that sweet head of hers but could not figure out just what it was. Today we got our answers. I would love to tell you that I feel better knowing but I don’t feel better at all.

We met with the counselor and she explained that our 7yo is experiencing OCD tendencies and symptoms of clinical depression. She explained that we don’t put labels on kids this young so this is not a definitive diagnosis at her young age. As soon as she said the word depression tears fell to my eyes uncontrollably. I wanted to be strong in that moment but couldn’t help but feel that part of my child just died.

I know how that sounds but I couldn’t help but think back to the very first moment I held her. As a mom when you hold your child for the first time, you envision the life that you will have with that child. What you do not envision is OCD or depression at 7 years old. Part of that child that I have envisioned is gone forever.

She will have challenges that I can’t even understand her way as she navigates an imperfect world as a person who needs perfection and consistency. The counselor said that although she is doing wonderful in school it is as if she is playing the role of the perfect student. That is why sometimes she cries without reason and she does not even know the reason. It is all she can do to keep it together at school and as school gets more difficult so will her ability to keep it together.

She also pointed out some things in the parenting department that I need to work on. Although it was tough to hear, she is right. She didn’t seem to judge, but matter of factly explained that 7yo is having some problems with her sister being involved in everything that she is involved with. She says 7yo needs something that is hers and sacred to only her.

This lead us to the conversation of her Pokémon cards and how that is an OCD kids playground. It suddenly made sense. 7yo at times has seemed obsessed with her Pokémon cards, how much damage they have etc. She said that 7yo is very concerned that 2yo is going to mess up her cards. These are what she needs to be sacred to only her.

That night  went to the store and bought her a binder and card protectors for all her cards. She was in heaven and placed them in the binder. I told her that these were hers and no one can touch them unless she wanted them to. It was cute how she wrote a note to ask permission before touching her cards and placed it in the sleeve of the binder.

We also discussed her need to only drink water and pointed out that is not normal for a 7yo. I honestly never thought of it that way before. We don’t give our kids soda and she doesn’t like juice so to me, it was normal. There is a genetic mutation that can also be causing some of her depression symptoms that we are going to test her for. She is leading heavily towards this possibility but we will know for sure after the test results come in. It apparently stops you ability to break down folate and if she has this condition then folic acid supplements will help.

The husband hasn’t said much since we visited with the counselor and I think he doesn’t believe some of it. Whether it be denial or what have you. It is hard to accept but at the same time, I feel like I have a whole new insight into my daughter.  She will have a challenging road ahead but we are committed to helping her. Her first official session is in two weeks and I am hoping that after a few sessions she will feel better and have some tools to help her with her struggles. Gods timing is perfect as my current job will allow me to take her to appointments and not feel stressed about it . where as my previous job, it would have been a challenge. The previous job would not have been as understanding about taking the time off work to tend to family and if they were it would have been super stressful and would have resulted in later days than necessary. Today I will choose to be thankful for the love that we have for our children and our commitment to provide them with all the tool necessary to live a full and healthy life, even if there are challenges ahead.

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Author:

I am a wife of ten years, mom of three, Nurse and student! My household is quite chaotic and busy. With a six year old going on sixteen. we shall call her "Sassy", a four year old, who is stubborn as a mule, she shall be called " mini me", and a one year old, we will call "Buddy". Our girls do Ballet, and our son, well he is all boy! Very curious and always getting in to something. When we found out we were having a boy i laughed and said " god must have known we needed a little less diva in our life," Ha, little boys are quite the handful! I love my kids with all of my heart, and i love my job too! As a nurse leader i get to see many sides to healthcare and help encourage and guide new nurses. I love taking care of patients and being able to have grown up talk and then come home to my babies. The house is usually chaotic with lots of tantrums, and messes, but i wouldn't change it for a bit. On the rare occasion that i am able to have some spare time to myself, i like to read, bake and decorate cakes, and take pictures of my kiddos. Time to myself is rare so i decided to start this blog to have a creative outlet and connect with other working moms, who might be going through the same situations as myself. I hope you enjoy my thoughts and stories as a mom, student, wife and Nurse! These stories will range from Diapers and tutus to meetings and boardrooms! and everything that falls in between. Enjoy and thanks for visiting my site.

18 thoughts on “When you hear the words OCD tendencies and Symptoms of Depression…

  1. *Hugs* Speaking as someone whose clinical depression first showed up when I was 9 or 10: your daughter’s going to have some rough times, but the fact that she has loving and supportive parents is HUGE.

    1. Thank you. It is hard to see her melancholy at times, that’s how the counselor described her and at times, she is right. No facial expressions just matter of fact. Hopefully the counseling will help and we can avoid meds for now, but if she needs meds then that is what she will get. Only time will tell. Thanks for your encouraging words, they mean a lot!

  2. Oh April I know somewhat how you are feeling. We have been back and forth with Avery and her speech delay and hearing issues. Some people are so helpful and others are not. We have had people say lots of things behind our back and it is very hurtful. I know hearing some of the things about Avery has definitely taken the wind out of my sails. My advice to you is to be your/her own advocate. When making decisions regarding her care make sure everyone is comfortable with them. It is so hard to see your child hurting and to think about their life being harder than you ever imagined is heartbreaking. One thing to remember is she always will be your little girl and nothing can change that. It is nice to get some insight on how to make her feel comfortable so don’t ever be afraid to reach out. Don’t feel bad about thoughts or feelings you have either. They are valid. I just try to take one day at a time instead of always looking at the big picture. You are a great mom 🙂

  3. Hey, I’ve been a bit absent from blogging lately, because of the exact same issues.
    My daughter is part of a child carers network, because I have mental health issues, she is technically my carer, and it was picked up that my daughter has social anxiety, generalised anxiety and symptoms of depression.
    They wont label my daughter here either, which is good (Really good especially as there is a chance they will grow up healthy, my brother did despite having issues as a kid), but also sucks in terms of schooling, because I can’t technically write it on her school forms under “health conditions”. This is annoying because my kids school is a bit rubbish in dealing with her issues because it’s too soon to confirm or diagnose anything.

    I suffer mental health problems, and have done since I was 7. I would tell you that for me, the water thing is very similar to what I used to do, and what I see in patients I volunteer with in eating disorders (Who commonly have OCD). Any phobias you encounter, do your best to get her out of it and don’t be afraid to explain things in detail. My little one had a phobia of cooked vegetables, she would only eat them raw. Giving her a plate of cooked vegetables would give her a full blown panic attack. With the use of mindfulness techniques and reward charts with prizes and full explanation of where veggies come from, how important it is to eat them, she has gotten out of it now. I find with my daughter, hands on things help the most. I get her in the kitchen cooking with me, we’ve picked vegetables etc. Help her brain learn that she is safe to drink other things, nothing bad will happen. I was always, always scared as a kid, and no one comforted me or told me that it was okay. So my phobias have stayed with me my entire life, and I struggle to do anything about them now except to try and ignore them, and know that I will probably have them forever, and meds are the only thing that comes close to helping. Also helping your daughter out of known phobias, will help her deal with silent thought based obsessions/phobias.
    These are just things I wish I had help with the most, or that I think would have benefitted me the most into turning into a less mental adult.

    Anyway, I can totally understand your fears. For me, suffering these things myself, is a walk in the park compared to how I feel about my daughter having these issues. I wish I could stop them from happening altogether. I hope that I can prevent her “turning out like me”, but you know my brother had issues when he was a kid, and my parents got him help, and cared about him. I was told to be strong and not feel anything and to stop causing issues for everyone which has been engrained on my brain so much, I constantly feel I am a burden to people. So maybe there is a way we can help our kids grow up healthy, and help them control their issues, so they don’t end up feeling completely powerless like I do at times, like right now. I feel a slave to my phobias and brain most of the time. I guess what I’m trying to say is, there is hope, and you’re a great mommy, so there is every reason to have hope.
    Hugs x

    1. Thank you for sharing this with me. Your experiences make sene for with what my daughter is goin through and quite honestly before we realized what she was going through we would tellher to stop crying that its not a big deal. I feel terrible about saying it now, but now that we know whatis I going on, we will behandleing this another way and helping her. I will be referring to this coment from time to time as I find it incredibly helpful! Thank you!!!

      1. Don’t feel bad or blame yourself. I initially thought it about my daughter even though I’ve been through it too. But also, school would say things like, “Drama queen” on her reports and well, you think teachers would know what they are on about!
        The important thing is, you know now, are getting help for her and doing everything you can. It’s all we can do!
        Take care of yourself too. xxxx

  4. Reading your words reminds me that our children have a constant pulse on our worry buttons. Your sweet girl is so blessed to have you for a mama. Your empathy and love will carry her through the worst days. I feel it in my heart.
    Michelle

    1. Thanks Michelle! That means a lot.. Especially since I know that she will have some rough days and there is nothing I can do to stop.. Just hope we can give her the tools to cope.

  5. I’m so glad you’ve gained some insight and tools for your daughter, even if you didn’t get good news from the evaluation. You and your family will continue to work at helping your daughter, and you will all be stronger for it. Sending hugs.

  6. I think it’s wonderful that you are looking into getting help for her instead of just waiting for her to “grow out of it” — and I smiled when you mentioned your husband’s response to it. Men are typically against counseling stuff, and not only that, but they are major “fixers” and need to feel they can fix and control anything that comes up in their family, and when they can’t, they get very quiet. Right now I’m sort of going through the same thing with my husband regarding our pregnancy — the baby has a diagnosis of Trisomy 13. I have been reaching out to support groups, FB groups, different Trisomy organizations, plus looking into every single health issue our baby might have (a lot of it is unknown until he is born) and through all this my husband is basically a lump. He shows up to all our appointments and I do all the talking and ask all the questions while he just sits there, silent. After a few weeks of this I finally asked him, “Why don’t you SAY anything or ASK any questions…ever?” and he admitted that he just feels so lost about the whole thing, that he feels helpless because it’s something that he can’t fix. Anyway, not saying your husband is like this, but it just reminded me that men and women process things differently. Men typically hate counseling and any type of psychology thrown their way because it makes them feel as if they could not solve their own problem and someone from the “outside” needed to take over.

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