A little while ago, I posted about my 8yo’s recent diagnosis of MTHFR. After months of not understanding what was happening with her and trying to figure out why she seemed so sad all the time, we took her to see a counselor. We were told that she has OCD tendencies and symptoms of clinical depression. To say that this is heartbreaking is an understatement. How could a little girl, who has never experienced tragedy, has a warm and loving home be depressed?
The counselor then explained that she may have a genetic mutation that is causing her symptoms and a simple cheek swab would tell us if that is what we were dealing with. She felt strongly that this is what was happening to our oldest duckling. The results came in, and she was right. Our oldest had two genetic mutations associated with MTHFR which inhibit her ability to breakdown vitamin B and folate. The more serious side effects of this condition being depression. We are currently able to treat her with a prescription vitamin that helps her body breakdown folate and enhance her mood without prescription antidepressants.
The counseling sessions have been incredibly emotional for her and myself. You often think these are for the child to learn self awareness and coping techniques but I am learning a lot about my relationship with my daughter as well as my parenting faults in the process.
One of the issues we have been working though is her inability to say I love you! In the counselor’s words, my daughter is not emotionally attached to me as her mother. It is like a cold, hard slap in the face when you hear that from a non biased professional let me tell you.
We have been working on bonding, the 8yo and I. Taking time for just me and her and enjoying activities that she loves to do. we started scrapbooking, and having pokemon battles. It has been good. The supplements seem to be helping her mood and I am happy to say we have more good days then bad now. The counselor has even commented on how well she is doing. Our every two week appointments are now once a month!
If that wasn’t enough, the oldest gave me the best Christmas present of all! On Christmas Eve, as we were going through the bedtime routine, she asked me for something to write with. I brought her a pen and she proceeded to write in her notebook. She ten told me that I could read her special note to me after I put 3yo to bed. I giggled the 3yo to bed.
Expecting to read something that said, I am excited for presents in the morning this. A note that said I love you and merry Christmas! Tears streamed down my face as I read the words over and over. She loves me. may recognizes the hard work we have done together to bond. She may never be able to say the words aloud, and she may never understand how I love her more than anything in the world. But that night, she gave me the best gift I have ever received. She gave me hope, love and faith that despite everything we have been through this year, we will come out on the other side stronger as a family. She gave me her love!