Tears came to my eyes, as a picture of 6yo’s first dace recital dress popped up on my Facebook memories. This is a nice feature added to Facebook, however today, it made me a little sad.
On Christmas Eve, 6yo came running to me and informed me that she no longer wanted to go to dance. She wouldn’t give me a reason why, just that she no longer wanted to go. The thought of her quitting hurt my heart a little since the oldest decided to quit this year as well. Due to her anxiety issues, we decided to go ahead and let her quit because it was causing her too much stress to go to Ballet. That was months ago, that she stopped. Now ,my only one left in dance wants to quit also! It was too much. I just told her we would talk about it later and left it at that.
I think part of me was hoping that she would forget that she wanted to quit. Part of me felt like she was only saying it because the oldest wasn’t going anymore. Part of me still thinks that is true.
This week we were to return to dance and get measured for recital dresses. The husband picked her up and I met them at the studio. She seemed fine, until she wasn’t. She would not go in to the studio for measurements. Then the studio owner came over and said “honey if you don’t like to dance, then tell your mom.” “It’s okay if you don’t but your mom pays a lot of money to let you come here so tell her if you don’t like it anymore.” That was it, there was no going back. 6yo decided she was done. I know the owner was trying to be helpful, but I really don’t think she dislikes dance. I really think it has something to do with big sis not being there. Unfortunately the kid isn’t talking, so we decided to withdraw, It wasn’t like I could drag her in there kicking and screaming now could I?
It’s funny because my next thought was okay, if not Ballet then what? Somehow I have this idea in my head that the kids HAVE to be involved in something! We have to keep them busy and involved in extracurricular activities. I am not really sure where this came from. Is it the idealist poster family who have 2.2 kids who are involved in dance, sports and music lessons portrayed on t.v., Facebook and well everywhere.. I am not sure.
Today, we were all exhausted and tired. The kids had their first week back at school from winter break and well, they needed a break. So we stayed home in our pajamas and played. WE built towers out of Legos, played Jenga and watched movies together. WE were just simply there. There was no agenda, no hurrying to the next task or event. It was what we needed.
That is when hit me. These kids need time to just be kids. They don’t have to be involved in anything yet unless they choose to be. It’s not about me, i’s about them. Kindergarten has been challenging for and comes home exhausted every night and barely makes it to bath time before falling asleep on the couch. There are days we are completing homework in the morning s because she did fall asleep on the couch. She needs this time off.
So for know, we are just going to take the rest of this year off. We can explore other ventures next year. I am going to let my kids be kids without the pressures of dance classes and recitals. I am not going say that it doesn’t suck for me. We had some great times at that dance studio. My girls were becoming beautiful dancers. So if you will excuse me, I am going to continue to look at these pictures and cry….