I received a note from 8yo’s teacher confirming what he had hoped would not happen. 8yo’s best friend in class has moved away and finally switched schools. Her teacher wanted me to know because 8yo has been so happy since she made a friend in class. She has been understanding about her ocd tendencies and anxiety. She wanted me to know she was concerned and to let her know if there was anything she could do to help. I love her, for this note. I love her patience and understanding. 8yo just does not make lots of friends. She typically clings to one. She vales true friendship versus having a lot of friends who really aren’t good friends.
She seems to be doing ok with this news, but has clinged to her younger sister and wants to play with her more now. Last week she began talking about a little girl we will call T. T, was in her Kindergarten class and remains in after school care with 8yo. She has not spoken much of her this year in second grade but she did come to 8yo’s birthday party. She is asking if T, can come over for a sleepover. I have mixed feelings over this request. At the birthday party this little girl was perfectly mannered and sweet. She truly was a delight. So what is the problem? 8yo tells me that sometimes T, says things like ” nobody likes me, I should just go kill myself!” no doubt something she has heard on t.v. or in her own home.
At the birthday party in November, the mom dropped off T and made no effort to get to know us. She looked at us, and said “so two hours?” I nodded and then she was gone. Maybe if she had taken the time to get to know us and vice versa then I would feel a little better about this.
I have a rule about sleepovers though. My girls can have friends here, but cannot sleep over at anyone else’s house that we do not know. They have slept over at a close friends house a couple of times but I do not let them otherwise sleep at other’s houses except for my sister in law’s. I would hate to have the girl over and then she expects 8yo to come to her house. 8yo knows the rules and understands it, but others might get their feelings hurt.
I have also considered multiple girls sleepover like three total. Then it could be a fun party and would be more that just focusing on the one girl. I have no idea how to go about hosting a little girl sleepover though, and not sure I have the stamina to stay up with a handful of eight year olds, but am willing to try.
So, my question is this. What would you do? Let the little girl come over?