Posted in mommy mishaps, mommyhood, Uncategorized

To ERR is Human..even in motherhood

to err

Just like that, in the blink of an eye it happened. I lost sight of my son. We were at a park, and I lost him in my line of vision. those next thirty seconds felt like an eternity with only the sound of my heart pounding in my ear. The world was still, until I found him. Playing happily. He was okay.

When he was a little over one years old,  would wait until the last minute to wake buddy up in the mornings to leave for work. Every day was the same routine, get dressed, get the girls dressed, load the car , wake buddy up, get buddy dressed, and leave for work. He woke up a little too early one morning. I sat him on the couch and proceeded to load up the car. Once I entered the house, I found my spunky little man trying to fly off the couch like Superman. Running to him, I literally caught him mid air. He could have hurt himself.

We were at the farmer’s market, when mini me got shuffled in the mix. It was me and three children. I wanted to teach the kids about fresh fruit and vegetables from the farm. I wasn’t prepared for how many people would be there. I was pushing the stroller with the oldest holding onto it, and mini me holding her hand. She let go, and got behind. it wasn’t but for a second, but it scared me. Deciding, that this particular situation was too much for me to handle, we have not been back to the market since.

It happens, we get distracted. We are not designed to be perfect and often the standards of perfection we hold ourselves to, destroy us from within. There is a saying in healthcare that to err is human. A report written discussing the ease of human error and how we must focus on the causes of error to create a culture of safety for our patients. With patients lives literally in our hands, we give grace for human error. We do not overlook or minimize the error, but we give grace, get to the root cause and fix the failure modes that lead to the error.  Why do we not give mothers the same grace?

Was I negligent in those instances? Not on purpose. I am human, I have three children and sometimes as a mom, I can get distracted. Should people have cast stones at me for mere seconds? no. If my children had been hurt, is judging and bashing  justified? NO.

We should be offering grace, humanity and support to one another. Why do we judge, bash and berate one another on social media platforms? It is to the point, that I refuse to join any mommy blogger groups on most social media platforms. The comments and judgements are unbearable, and I pray the people they are lashing out at refuses to read them. No one needs that kind of noise in their heads. We are all doing the best we can, and yes we make mistakes. WE make a lot of them.

I challenge you to hold your tongue a little longer, offer a word of encouragement, and imagine yourself in the shoes of another. Community and support will make more progress than condemnation. It is when we work together, that we will  shape the future.

***I am in no way condoning pure and intentional negligence. I do believe that most mothers and fathers do not intend to neglect their children. I also   Realize this post might open myself up to negative comments and backlash,  I encourage you to share your own stories! Let’s show the community what support and transparency looks like.

 

 

 

 

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Author:

I am a wife of ten years, mom of three, Nurse and student! My household is quite chaotic and busy. With a six year old going on sixteen. we shall call her "Sassy", a four year old, who is stubborn as a mule, she shall be called " mini me", and a one year old, we will call "Buddy". Our girls do Ballet, and our son, well he is all boy! Very curious and always getting in to something. When we found out we were having a boy i laughed and said " god must have known we needed a little less diva in our life," Ha, little boys are quite the handful! I love my kids with all of my heart, and i love my job too! As a nurse leader i get to see many sides to healthcare and help encourage and guide new nurses. I love taking care of patients and being able to have grown up talk and then come home to my babies. The house is usually chaotic with lots of tantrums, and messes, but i wouldn't change it for a bit. On the rare occasion that i am able to have some spare time to myself, i like to read, bake and decorate cakes, and take pictures of my kiddos. Time to myself is rare so i decided to start this blog to have a creative outlet and connect with other working moms, who might be going through the same situations as myself. I hope you enjoy my thoughts and stories as a mom, student, wife and Nurse! These stories will range from Diapers and tutus to meetings and boardrooms! and everything that falls in between. Enjoy and thanks for visiting my site.

16 thoughts on “To ERR is Human..even in motherhood

  1. I get it. I remember when I “lost” my three-year-old son at the great ape exhibit at our zoo, while I was momentarily focused on his two sisters. There was no chance he was in danger from animals (people were in a plexiglass enclosure with the animals outside) but for several minutes I was desperate and panicked. Finally found him curled up behind an outcropping of a divider, intensely watching the animals. That certainly taught me not to judge.

  2. I once lost my oldest at IKEA. It was for maybe 2 minutes, but those were some of the longest seconds of my life.

    We can all make mistakes. It’s better for us to reach out with help rather than judge each other.

  3. Agree completely with this – I’ve had moments where I’ve momentarily lost line of vision to both my kids. It happens despite best efforts – one distracts you and the other wanders off. That moment of panic before relocating them – that moment of fear that I might not… Ugh – it isn’t judgement I feel when I read stories of children gone missing. I remember instead those moments where it really could have happened to me.

    1. here, here! It’s hard not to think about what could have happened, but I have learned to push it out of my head, or I will go crazy!

  4. Yup, the little critters are fast. I turned for one second and my oldest got his head stuck between the baluster of the stairs. Couldn’t get his head out and we were ready to cut the whole thing down. I finally turned his head just right while pulling as hard as I could on the baluster. Talk about a panic—whew!

  5. You know, with little kids, it’s so easy to lose them even if u take yr eyes off for a nano second. They are too quick and with 3 kids, u’d need a few more pairs of eyes at the back of your head. Unless it’s pure negligence- there had been several cases where the parents got too busy on their phone to mind their younglings that resulted in death. That’d be a tough one to deal with as a parent and I’m sure they can’t even forgive themselves for that. 😦

    1. I completely agree. Pure negligence is different.I can’t even imagine what it must feel like as a parent when something like that happens.

      1. my brother passed around five years ago, and my mom will tell you it’s the most horrible pain ever to outlive your child.

  6. I had something similar happen just yesterday. I got the mail and when I came back in I must not have shut the door all of the way. After I set it down I went into the bathroom and I heard the door open. Avery ran outside by herself. She was out there for maybe five or ten seconds but it scared the crap out of me and I felt horrible. Luckily she stopped by the stairs when she realized I wasn’t behind her. I started locking the door behind me now. It happens to all of us but it’s definitely scary when it does.

    1. it does make you feel horrible. its one of the reasons why I hate all the judging and shaming, those moms who really messed up are already beating themselves up over it…

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