Just like that, in the blink of an eye it happened. I lost sight of my son. We were at a park, and I lost him in my line of vision. those next thirty seconds felt like an eternity with only the sound of my heart pounding in my ear. The world was still, until I found him. Playing happily. He was okay.
When he was a little over one years old, would wait until the last minute to wake buddy up in the mornings to leave for work. Every day was the same routine, get dressed, get the girls dressed, load the car , wake buddy up, get buddy dressed, and leave for work. He woke up a little too early one morning. I sat him on the couch and proceeded to load up the car. Once I entered the house, I found my spunky little man trying to fly off the couch like Superman. Running to him, I literally caught him mid air. He could have hurt himself.
We were at the farmer’s market, when mini me got shuffled in the mix. It was me and three children. I wanted to teach the kids about fresh fruit and vegetables from the farm. I wasn’t prepared for how many people would be there. I was pushing the stroller with the oldest holding onto it, and mini me holding her hand. She let go, and got behind. it wasn’t but for a second, but it scared me. Deciding, that this particular situation was too much for me to handle, we have not been back to the market since.
It happens, we get distracted. We are not designed to be perfect and often the standards of perfection we hold ourselves to, destroy us from within. There is a saying in healthcare that to err is human. A report written discussing the ease of human error and how we must focus on the causes of error to create a culture of safety for our patients. With patients lives literally in our hands, we give grace for human error. We do not overlook or minimize the error, but we give grace, get to the root cause and fix the failure modes that lead to the error. Why do we not give mothers the same grace?
Was I negligent in those instances? Not on purpose. I am human, I have three children and sometimes as a mom, I can get distracted. Should people have cast stones at me for mere seconds? no. If my children had been hurt, is judging and bashing justified? NO.
We should be offering grace, humanity and support to one another. Why do we judge, bash and berate one another on social media platforms? It is to the point, that I refuse to join any mommy blogger groups on most social media platforms. The comments and judgements are unbearable, and I pray the people they are lashing out at refuses to read them. No one needs that kind of noise in their heads. We are all doing the best we can, and yes we make mistakes. WE make a lot of them.
I challenge you to hold your tongue a little longer, offer a word of encouragement, and imagine yourself in the shoes of another. Community and support will make more progress than condemnation. It is when we work together, that we will shape the future.
***I am in no way condoning pure and intentional negligence. I do believe that most mothers and fathers do not intend to neglect their children. I also Realize this post might open myself up to negative comments and backlash, I encourage you to share your own stories! Let’s show the community what support and transparency looks like.