There are days when you feel like you are rocking the mom department, and days when you feel like there just isn’t enough of you to go around. The 7yo has been sick and began to lose her voice, when she spiked a fever and actually asked for pain medicine for her throat. She no longer has her tonsils, however it is still possible for her to get strep throat. The decision was made to take her to the doctor this morning. Get her tested just in case.
You are probably wondering what the dilemma is at this point. Well, you see it’s Saturday and 8yo’s very first soccer game! You read that right. My shy, introverted little girl has decided that soccer looks fun enough to join. After weeks of her asking, we decided to let her try it and see how things go. So far, she really seems to enjoy it and says it is her favorite sport. Her game is at the same time as her brother’s so we decided that dividing and conquering the games would be best. Her request was that mommy watch her play first. Sigh.. now how to break the news.
As I am caring for the 7yo, I am blaming myself. Why can’t I be two places at once? Why can’t I be everything to everyone? Why can’t I meet all of my children’s needs? Why am I not enough? Yes, I was having a moment. This first game is important to me, but taking care of 7yo is also very important.
After calling the husband at work, who will soon be on his way home , it was time to tell 8yo. Bracing myself for an emotional upset, I explained the situation. I told her that 7yo is sick and mommy has to take her to get checked out. I will have to miss the game. Bracing myself, ,my 8yo gave me the grace I didn’t realize I needed. The grace that I had refused to give myself. She simply looks at my and says ” It’s okay mommy. You have a really good reason for not coming.”
Sometimes I forget that this child is wise beyond her years. Sometimes I forget that despite her OCD, anxiety and emotional issues, she has made amazing progress. Sometimes, I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and forget to give myself a little grace. Today, this child gave me the grace I needed. Today, god gave me the grace I needed. I had written hopes of attending the game, when the pediatrician said that 7yo simply had seasonal allergies. He sore throat from pure sinus drainage. We even made it to the soccer game in time to watch most of 8yo’s game! Some might question, the need for all this drama, but I know it was gods way of teaching me to have a little grace 🙂