Posted in Baby Daddy

Date night and people watching

We did it! We finally made it out to an actual date night. For those of you who are close to us, then you know that there were several attempts at a date night in which we never made it. The most recent fiasco was when the 9yo had an ear infection.

WE never went out to dinner for our anniversary last month, so the husband  arranged for childcare for us to enjoy a kid free dinner. There has been several discussion at work about this new restaurant downtown, so we thought let’s give it a try. Why not?

It’s a trendy southern style restaurant with a twist. They serve the most unbelievable combinations that work! The food was good, and it was nice for us to have some alone time to talk. WE haven’t done much of that lately. It’s just between our busy schedules and spending half the night trying to get the kids to sleep leave little time to talk to your spouse.

What struck me at this restaurant, , was the amount of people watching I could do. This place is a dream for anyone who likes to people watch. What struck me as even more odd, was how old I felt. When you sit there and count how many men are wearing man buns ( both restaurant employees and customers alike), then you can consider yourself old. Old, married and with kids that is. This restaurant catered to either the young and hip, or the older and incredibly wealthy. Oh, how you could see all these rich people in this restaurant. it was quite interesting actually.

Sitting right next to us, was the ” I am rich and I want you to notice me crowd.” This was actually a family, two older parents and their son who looked to be mid twenties. They spent the night actually talking about money and real estate. Yeah, they were quite boring. Then across from us, was the obviously wealthy but very down to earth couple. I have an aunt and uncle like that. They clearly have tons of money, but are some of the most kindest and down to earth people I have ever met. At the bar, was a young girl with a slightly older man. He had a man bun, and she kept grabbing his ass. I am pretty sure her mom was at the bar with them. it was an odd situation. One minute they were all make outey and the next she was talking to her mom ( could be sister) and he was chugging a glass of wine faster than life itself.

As I said before, the food was decent, nice atmosphere, but us old married couples with three kids, well… we would be fine with chick fil a.  We actually had a great time, and the people watching was fun. Do you do that? Just sit back and watch how others interact with each other? In case you were wondering, we seen at least six man buns 😉

 

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Chocolate bannana cake with bananna gelato. Yes please!!!

 

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Posted in Baby Daddy

A weekend to Remember

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Remember the feeling when you first fall in love? The warm butterflies you felt when you looked at each other. The way it felt as if you were the only two people in the room even though their was dozens surrounding you. Those feelings change over time, the love is still there but it changes. Add a few kids in their and well, you rarely get time alone. This weekend the hubby and I were blessed to spend time alone on the beach!

It has been six years since our last weekend away and it was much needed. Over the years we said we would ensure that we go on date nights once a month and make a conscious effort to spend quality time together. Well, you know what? It’s damn hard to commit to that when you have three little ones, two full time jobs and a part time student career getting in the way. I honestly do not remember the our last date together. It has been awhile. But this weekend, we were alone. This weekend we had quiet. Guess what we did?

We talked about the kids the entire time!!! Get your mind out of the gutter people… We missed those three little people that we were desperate to get away from like crazy. It actually gave us some time to talk about the oldest and her mthfr diagnosis, which we had not  a proper conversation about since she started therapy. The husband is tired and asleep by the time I get the kids to bed each night, so our conversation can be minimal at times. We also really enjoyed our alone time, so I don’t want you thinking there was no romance, because guess what the spark is still there, it just looks a little different now.

We arrived at our beach condo after picking the kids up from school and taking them to our sister in laws house for the weekend. It used to be effortless but now we have to plan for accidents, picky eaters and well you get the idea. The condo was beautiful and immaculately cleaned. I am happy if the laundry is clean at home. We felt like we were living in luxury with no crayon on the walls, and the dining room table that you can actually see the top of! We took one look at the second bedroom and began rambling about the kids, lol. it’s amazing how that works. The rest of the evening was spent basking in the quietness and enjoying spending time together.

The next morning sounds of the waves crashing against shore woke us up. This is  a much nicer sound that a three year old screaming that he wants his mommy or the 7yo that wakes you up to tell you that she needs to go poop! t was glorious. After taking our time getting dressed and ready for the day, we walked on our private access to the beach and sat and talked. We talked about our 7 year old and the challenges we face with her mthfr diagnosis. There were emotions and tears as this was not how we set out to spend our romantic get away. Even, as we were discussing the challenges I looked at my husband and remembered. Being able to have a real conversation with him reminded me of why I chose to spend my life with this man to begin with. it wasn’t the grand gesture of roses or gifts that would have lit my fire in those early years, but the companionship, support and genuine love for one another that sustains a relationship through the good bad and ugly. Believe me when I say we had seen it all.

later that evening we decided to do some shopping and of course bought for the kids. We did at the  least get some Christmas shopping done. Dinner was at a local seafood restaurant and it was delicious! The rain came next so we went back to the condo to relax.

The following morning we were awaken to raindrops hitting hard and heavy. Een then the beach looked beautiful and we talked for a few minutes then decided it was time to get ready to leave. We missed the kids but were glad to have the weekend together. It wasn’t the perfect idealistic get away with rose petals on the bed. but it was perfect for us. Time for us to talk, hold hands and be a couple. Even if we did talk about the kids a lot, we still managed to talk about other things. We were able to just be… Something that is difficult in the everyday challenges that come with raising three kids together. I will never forge this weekend and hopes it will serve as a reminder of the need for us to spend quality time together without the kids. I sure didn’t feel those butterflies like when we first began dating, but I felt a love more powerful that the puppy stage you go through when you begin dating the love of your life. I felt the long lasting love that carries you through the ups and downs, the good and the bad. The kind of soul nourishing love that never fades and only strengthens with time. For that, I am thankful!

Posted in Baby Daddy

Stolen Moments..

It has been a challenge to spend time with the hubby lately. Hmm.. With three kids go figure . Every day is a challenge, every day we have kids screaming,crying, and fighting. With kids as young  and close in age as ours it is just the new normal. It is stressful. exhausting and mentally draining all at the same time. Add a couple of girls in your bed every night and well, you get the point.

Last night I cam home from a long work week to the husband using his new grill to make us a steak dinner! I knew that grill was worth every penny! you see it has been a long time since he has just made dinner for me. It has been a long time since he has taken the time to surprise me. Something that before kids, he used to do all the time. We are exhausted after all.

While he made dinner I made some homemade guacamole and went to the store to buy some tortilla chips. It felt like we were in a true partnership. We are each a functioning part of the team and neither one of us can do this without the other. I see single moms or military wives who have no choice but to do this parenting thing on their own and I remember  how blessed I am to 10178071_1008375865863655_3045373175708867583_nhave him.

Untitled designIt’s funny the way love and admiration sneaks up on you in those simple moments. It’s not the grand gestures but the every day moments. It was Fathers Day that I watched my husband putting together his new grill with his handy 2yo little partner right next to him that I thought to myself. I love this man!

It was last night as we were sitting at the Kitchen table together eating our steak diner while ignoring all the chaos around us that I thought, I love him! This moment right here when we chose to sit together, eat and have a conversation instead of running to the aid of the sounds of war n the other room, this moment I say I love him.

These stolen moments do not happen often but in a world where stress can get the better of you, I am thankful that I love him! What stolen moments have you had lately?

Posted in Baby Daddy

Pure and Simple Love

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Admiring mommy’s flowers

As I sat at my dining room table yesterday eating dinner in the comfort of my own home, I began to feel how very blessed I am. With our son sitting next to us and the girls watching t.v. we are truly blessed. Now, these are rare moments and naturally the girls began to fight but still for a split second, I felt blessed.

We don’t usually do much for Valentine’s Day due to the fact that our anniversary is a month later. But honestly, the big displays of romance are not what make us a couple nor is it how my husband chooses to show me he loves me. This is quite honestly been quite frustrating for me in our relationship in those early years of marriage. Especially after we began to have kids. I was all like what do you mean you didn’t buy me a present or plan a trip for us!

Now that I am a bit older I can appreciate what he does for me on a daily basis. It is in the way he helps with the kids. When I am at home I rarely sit still and sometimes the kids want to cuddle. He is just as content to cuddle with them. It is in the way he put my glasses in my car the other night. You see I was going to have dinner with a friend who lives an hour away and I’m blind as a bat without my glasses while driving at night. He knows me so well that he knew I would forget to grab them and wanted to make my safety a priority. It is In the way he had all three kids asleep in their beds that night so I could just relax when I did get home.

This Valentine’s  he had to work as usual and then when her came home I made dinner. The kids gave me the best present of all by being well-behaved most of the day and even helped me by cleaning their room! No really I had to check their foreheads because I was sure they had delirium from fever or something.  Our children rarely say I love you, but the peaceful day was enough of an I love you for me!

He continued to clean while I made chicken parmesan and olive garden bread sticks! that’s right ladies, my husband takes the bread sticks to olive garden so I can have them whenever I want! I even use their recipe and they taste just the same. Dinner tasted great and little man ate the bread sticks. Then it was time to put all the kids to bed and watch a movie. It was peaceful and relaxing. There was no grand gesture, although I did get flowers and chocolates but you know what? When the early stages of love and all the excitement leave you have just that. pure simple love. I hope you all enjoyed your valentine’s Day!

Posted in Baby Daddy

The Year of more cuddles

wpid-img_8765.jpg.jpgIt’s January 1st year 2015 and we will all still write 2014 until we get used to writing the new year. Most  have spent the end of last year reflecting on the past and hoping for the future. Everyone of us face different circumstances that are unique to us. Whether it be ending a marriage or finding a new love. Whether being ill and hoping for a cure, we all have different hopes and dreams.

Here is the thing. We do not get a clean slate over night, so I encourage you to make the most of today. No matter what your circumstances may be, today is all we have. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

Last year I lost a friend who was only ten years my senior. He had cancer for the second time in his life and the first time being when he was sixteen. It doesn’t seem fair when you think about it. To have cancer once survive it then to get it again and it be so advanced that you lose that battle in less than six months.

Naturally after a loss like that you say, I will live every moment to the fullest. For awhile you do, but then every day life steps in and we forget. I know I did.

Last night at around 10pm the husband and I went to bed. Yeah I know party animals right? He tried to cuddle and in my exhaustion I said no, move over and the other usual things I say because for one I am not a cuddler. I also just knew that mini me would come in our room as she does every night, especially with the booming fireworks that were going off in my neighborhood. I am surprised all three kids did not wake up. Of course she did and so I spent the evening cuddling my child or her kicking, punching and rolling over me all night.

This morning when I had awaken it had hit me. What’s wrong with this picture. The man who I should want to be around more than anything and I push him away.  I will give cuddles selflessly to my children but not the man who helped me create them. I am not living life as if there were no tomorrow.

This year my goal is to try to live by this philosophy and truly live. Last year like many I think I purely existed. Trying to Survive the day more than anything and there is much more to life than that! So tonight if my husband is not to tired I will try to cuddle with him. He might die of shear shock but I will deal with that if it comes down to it. Our eleven year anniversary is coming up in march and this is the year to move past existing and into living!

No matter your circumstances this year I hope is that you love like there is n tomorrow, live to thrive and not survive hope for a future but plan for only today! Today is all we have because tomorrow is not a guarantee! Happy New Year from my family to yours!

Posted in Baby Daddy

Dad’s are Human too

Exhausted and ready for bed I walk up to my house to see the lights are still on. Oh great I thought. Now after the longest day ever I have to put the kids to bed before i can do anything else. Being that it  is 9:00pm and my school night, this thought annoyed me a little. He should have put them to bed after all.

Bracing myself and taking a deep breath I open the door ready for whatever chaos awaits/ There in my living room was three fast asleep people. My Oldest Daughter on the couch. The Hubby and middle child on the recliner. This would have been a lovely night, except there sits my 2yo covered in chocolate with a Big grin on his face. “Hi MOMMA!” he says!

Feeling the heat rise up my neck and my blood boiling, I just calmly set down my stuff. Trying not to yell, I just grab that sweet little face and said Son, Why are you still awake!  Taking him and cleaning his face I soon lay him down to bed.

Attempting to wake up the hubby and say hey dud What the Hell didn’t work! He was snoring louder than a freight train and clearly exhausted as was I!

Uggh so annoyed. Doesn’t he know that I was up since 2am with mini me and her ear ache that turned out to be an ear infection! I went into work late to take her to the doctor, so hadn’t I done my part. All he needed to do was just put the baby to bed first. It still makes me cringe at the thought of everything that could have gone wrong.

The next morning i had awaken, still a little mad from the previous nights events. Then I was reminded of the time my son let himself out of the house while i was using the restroom. You can find that post here.

The point being we talk about mom guilt and how we should not judge one another. But dad’s are  human too and they make mistakes. He was tired and obviously did not intend to fall asleep, so I should cut him some slack right?

wpid-children-snore-sleep-husband-dad-father-epa1838_low.jpgPhoto credit: Cartoonstock.com

Posted in Baby Daddy

We had a Date night

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The apocalypse happened and me and the hubby were granted a date night! I can’t believe it myself because it had been so long! I know, I know.. it doesn’t take much to make this girl happy!

I randomly sent my sister-in-law a text asking her to watch the kids and she couldn’t do it the night i had asked for but said she could do it this Saturday! Naturally I jumped at the offer and said Yes without hesitation! You don’t have to tell this girl twice.

We are kind of low on funds here as of late, but decided to make the trip as it would be worth it for both of our sanity’s sake! Dropping the kids off at the in-laws we decided on a BBQ restaurant that was very inexpensive.

I felt like a woman again. Not someone’s mom, but April! A thirty something woman who was out on a date. The hubby held open my doors like he did when we were dating. Quite the change from both of us toting around our kids while kicking the door shut behind us!

I had forgotten how much my husband actually talks while at the restaurant. We talked the entire time as if we did when staying up till 4am in those early dating stages. A well-kept secret for those who do not know the Hubby because most would categorize him as the silent type. It honestly surprised me when we started dating because until then I had thought he was the silent type as well.

Next was a movie! Two Hours of quiet time just me and the hubby, Umm yes please! Alexander and the terrible, no good very bad day! It was hilarious and a much-needed laugh for two parents who had been stressed to the max! I highly recommend you watching the movie it was great and just what the doctor ordered.

After two hours of much-needed alone time it was time to pick up the kiddos, and you know what? They were so exhausted all we did was pick them up and go straight to bed! It even gave us a little time to miss them.

We lose our identity as parents, and forget that the one we drift away from will be the one who is still around once the kids grow up and move out. Most days are hard pressed to find some time together, but I think necessary.

I am afraid that If I do not begin to make more of an effort with my husband then once the kids are gone we will forget why we got married in the first place. Our date night was a nice refresher, but we must remember to make that effort more often. Not just when the stars and moon aligns once every eight months or so!

So this is my declaration that at least once every two months We will make an effort to spend time together. I know once every two months is not much but baby steps people, baby steps. Whether it be a put the beds to early and sit on the couch together date or a go out on the town type of date we will stick to this! We will not forget that we were first a couple before parents. We will remember why we fell in love and foster that relationship like it deserves to be fostered.

How Long has it been since your last date? Has it been months or was it just last week? What tips or suggestions do you have for parents who are having trouble making time for each other?