Posted in mommyhood

Positively exhausted

a.baa-Tired.-Just-tired

Today Is just one of those days. It’s a plop where you drop exhausted kind of day, You moms know what I am talking about. It’s when the bedtime routine goes out the window and you let those little energy suckers fall asleep and plop where they drop. The 7yo and 5yo are both passed out on the couch and since the bedtime routine consist of rubbing 5yo’s feet until she falls asleep I am beyond thrilled to have them both asleep without my prodding.

The books don’t tell you about the pure exhaustion that occurs when you have kids. The kind of exhaustion that should come with a warning, don’t drive in this state of mind kind of exhaustion as you could be harmful to others. Yeah, they don’t mention that do they.

Let’s begin with 2yo shall we? He decided this morning that he and only he will get himself inside the van and into his car seat this morning, and as soon as I tried to help in, it was full throttle category five meltdown mode! I am taking the kind of tantrum that causes a toddler to stop breathing and begin peeing on himself as we are trying to leave the house meltdown! Well, I can’t take a kid to school in wet clothes can I? Well , yes you can If necessary! I grabbed some extra clothes, buckled that boy in the car and said we will change when we get there! The older sisters were going to be tardy and I was not going to have to check them into school for being tardy! We changed clothes at the daycare and all was well with the world again.

Work has been quite mentally draining today so you know there is that. I love my job, but there are days when the mental exhaustion sets in. Thankfully it does not last long. The perks of no longer being in management is being able to leave the work at work!

The 7yo hurt her tooth at school and she is refusing to eat anything until her loose tooth falls out! Part of her OCD symptoms is that she has this fear of anything to do with her mouth. Hence the full down meltdown at the doctor’s office regarding her cheek swab yesterday. She told me that she is hungry but can’t eat! Sigh, her tone is so melancholy and matter of fact, who really knows. Praying that she will eat something in the morning

5yo had a black eye courtesy of some zombie playing at after school care last week, so you know.. that’s fun. I told her to stop being so bossy the other night and she went completely nuts on me and cried for about twenty minutes. Apparently a friend at school told her she is too bossy and she will not play with her anymore, so there goes my mother of the year award!

exhausted doesn’t even begin to describe my mood today. But.. I AM DETERMINED to see the bright side of things. Tonight as I sit on the couch with my sleepy kids around me, I am choosing to see the positive over the negative. We have a warm home, a fridge full of food, the love for one another. We are physically healthy, and mostly in one piece. We will exclude the one black eye from this equation. Tonight, I am positively exhausted and choosing to be positive in life.

*This post is part of a personal challenge for me to see the positive in every situation.

Posted in Every day mom link-up

Every Day Mom Link up 9-20-15

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Welcome to the Every Day Mom link up for the third week of September!!! Can you believe how fast this time is flying? I am in disbelief that October is around the corner, but loving these cool fall mornings. I live in the south so the cool weather does not last long but I will take it in any form that I can get it!

Last week Autumn gave us a short story on putting her sweet Avery in her big girl bed. I like how she acknowledged that some nights she just needs her mommy. My two girls are age 7 and 6 and they still crawl in bed with mommy from time to time. I am really wishing they didn’t because well, my back hurts from all the kicking etc.. but you know.. nightmares and all so what are you going to do! Anyways I digress.. Click on the picture to read autumns great post!thmb55f57c870103e

This weekend Is a busy one for this household. Yesterday I had the AHA heart walk and am a little sore from it today and later this afternoon we have the 100th year celebration for the hospital I work for! It will be fun but exhausting as they are going to have all kinds of kid friendly activities. They plan to have laser tag, and bounce houses so it should be a good time. Maybe…

I hope you are all having a great weekend. Bare with me as I get through these last couple of weeks in my class. It is not too terrible hard but very time consuming so it has taken me away from the blog a bit. New posts to come soon! Until then, just relax and enjoy the blog party!

Rules:

  1. Link your favorite post using the inlinz form below
  2. read and comment/like at least two other blog posts
  3. remember to check back at the end of the week because we always get at least one post towards then end and I do not want anyone left out

Posted in Every day mom link-up

Every Day Mom Link up 4-30-15

Evry day mom badge It’s our favorite day of the week again!!! For those of you new to the link up, we post our favorite parenting piece of the week into the link up party! Once you include your post then have fun reading the other posts!

  1. April’s post got me thinking….. How often do I spend praying for my husband? The answer not enough… Her post was inspiring and I know that I will be making more of an effort to spend quality time with my husband. http://www.inlinkz.com/displayurl.php?id=22733852
  2. Whitney’s post got me thinking about labels. Is it just our human nature or the effects of knowing nothing else? You can find her thought-provoking post here http://www.inlinkz.com/displayurl.php?id=22771449
  3. Melssa pours her heart to s and shares her story on miscarriage. I much like her found it odd that until I had my own miscarriage never realized how many women have actually had one! Here is the link to that post! http://www.inlinkz.com/displayurl.php?id=22721420

All right ladies let’s link up and party!

Posted in mommyhood

The Longest Weekend EVER!

We have been lucky enough to not have sick kids for a few months and then Friday it happened. Duckling #3 (2yo) woke up with 101 temperature. Feeling like his whole body was on fire. So I called in to my new job ( yeah that sucks) and told them I wouldn’t make it.

I took him to the doctor who said what I thought which was just a virus. I almost wish she had prescribed some antibiotics just in case but this particular nurse practitioner doesn’t know that I am a nurse and would only give them if he was getting worse and not better. Friday evening he was still having fevers and nearly 103 this time. Duckling #3 just simply does not get fevers that high, nor does he sustain them. So naturally I awaken all night to check on him until 4am when he swats my hand away. He was done and wanted me to leave him the hell alone. So I did.So now I am sitting here one exhausted little mommy wishing her kids would get well.

2yo woke up with another 102 degree temperature and if he is still having them tomorrow then back to the doctor we go. The only problem is my insurance does not kick in until may 1st so it will be another 80 dollars for a doctor visit and however much the medicine cost. yikes!

I always say that mom’s should never get sick and I mean that but right now I would give anything to take it away for them. I hate seeing them so pitiful.  now if you will excuse me I have a tremendously large amount of coffee to drink! This has been the longest weekend ever!

Posted in mommyhood

Today I wanted to run

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Today was the day that I wanted to run away. I wanted to run, anywhere just far,far away. Maybe it was the because I was in the throes of a replicated civil war like feud with the kids all day. Leaving me to feel like it was the north s. the south, me vs. them.  Some days motherhood is nothing short of amazing and others your just thankful that you all ended in one piece. Today is one of those days. Fair warning, you are about to read the rantings of an exhausted, sleep deprived mother who feels enslaved to the needs of her children.

From the moment these ungrateful sweet little darlings of mine awakened it has been mommy I need this and I need that. Not just the normal need stuff but the whiny kind of behavior that makes you want to knock the shit out of them,give them a hug and tell them it will all be okay.

After two hours of non stop whining, fussing and sibling spats I decided we were going to play outside and get some fresh air. This started pretty good and the kids played well together allowing me a minute to go back inside and clean the kitchen. Except those little monsters kids decided to go back and forth and back and forth until the sound of the sliding glass door felt like nails on a chalkboard to me and I was ready  to whoop some ass. Then a bee must have been outside because all three kids came running screaming that there was a bee. imagine that a bee outdoors huh.

Starting lunch the kids asked what I was making, so I told them fish. Well you would have thought I was telling them that I was making raw sushi or something. OOh that’s disgusting, they wanted fish sticks! uggh so I went ahead and made fish sticks. I did not feel like yet another battle over lunch.

The husband came home at 2pm and I was ready to get the hell out of dodge. except I hadn’t showered, brushed my teeth or anything so that first. then I went to Target and sat in the Starbucks cafe drinking a latte in peace before getting the last few items needed for dinner.

Once home it was more whining, nagging exhausting behavior and then time to make dinner. Which would be fine except I was making tacos and you guessed it the kids said it was gross. Deciding that this day had already gone to hell I told the kids that they had to try it before they could have anything else to eat. You would have thought I was killing them! Full on wailing, screaming and 5yo was the worst! Kicking, screaming and just not having it! What kids do not like tacos?

That was it, I had reached my breaking point. Informing the hubby that he was now I kid duty I cleaned the kitchen and locked myself in my bedroom. He can handle them, I am all done. If they see mommy then they want mommy to get everything. The hubby offered to get 5yo her milk and she screamed no mommy do it!

So now, with my feet killing me, my eyes heavy, the house a complete disaster 9(except for the kitchen) I am done, y white flag is waived in surrender. Motherhood is exhausting and tiresome, and I do not have to love it every minute of the day. Today we merely survived and that has to be enough. I have given all I can today.

Some may wonder if I am worried about my kids reading this when they are older and you know what I will encourage them to do so. This feeling of frustration needs to be seen. They need to know that it is okay to be stressed, frustrated and exhausted. It’s how we choose to handle these situations that makes up out character. As much as I wanted to I do not yell, lose my temper or self-control. There were times when it could have easily happened. Instead I cared for and loved them. I kissed boo boos, and made sure they were fed and well cared for. Once I reached the point of no return I gave it al over to the husband and closed the door. Now relaxing to the soothing sounds of Ed Sheeran.

tomorrow is another day and I am grateful for that. Today I survived the throes of motherhood and all its ugliness. If anyone ever says motherhood does not have an ugly said needs to come to my house, and if they believe that then they are lieing to themselves because it’s there. My aching feet and dark circles that forever sit underneath my eyes serve as the battle scars from today. Tomorrow is another day and thank the lord for that!

Posted in acceptance

Check out my new article!!!!!!

It was hard for me to let go of the pressures I put on myself as a mother. It took a true cold hard awakening for me to realize that we are all human. Find me today over at MOMS Magazine talking about my struggles over Letting go of the mom guilt! If you like please feel free to share the post! The more moms I can reach the better!

http://momsmagazine.com/2015/02/04/learning-let-go-mom-guilt/

Posted in acceptance

Breathing

Today I am remembering to be thankful. I suppose I should remember always, but everyday stressors lead us to forgetting. Sitting here awake on a Saturday morning at 5am should make me mad. I mean I need sleep right? Instead I am thankful.

The silence of the house while I sip my coffee is giving me a chance to do something that I have not done in months. BREATHE! It’s giving me a chance to relax and breathe. Feeling thankful for this opportunity I am now ready to handle the days events of a birthday party and some family pictures with the in-laws.  That’s right we are going to get a bunch of kids together and try to get their pictures taken! Wish is Luck because we will certainly be needing it!

The past few months have just been nonstop going. Whether at work, or home. Between Birthday parties, Ballet and School events, we have really only come home to sleep. It’s just been completely exhausting. Once you add a 5yo who refuses to sleep in her bed due to an irrational fear of the dark  which can only be cured by sleeping in mommy’s bed. Well, you get the point. I’m not sleeping.

I have been praying and begging for this moment for awhile, not getting it leading me to believe that I would need to be committed if I didn’t just get a moment to relax and its here. God knows what we need and when we need it.

Oh wait! Time is up! 6yo is awake and I must go now. Moment of silence you were awesome! Let’s do this again sometime because I have surely missed you!

This has been a post for http://lindaghill.com/2014/11/14/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-november-1514/

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