Posted in mommyhood

I am THAT Mom!

Yes, I am THAT mom! The one wearing the soccer mom hat, shamelessly cheering her kids on at the soccer game. The one who took over 400 photos at the soccer game. Yes… I am THAT mom!

I posted the above photo to my Facebook page  realizing that I had in fact become THAT mom! The one we made fun of as we began to start our families. You know, the ones we swore that we would never become. I would be a cool mom, at least that’s what I thought.

The truth is.. I am THAT mom. The one who drives a mini van piled high with toys and sports gear and can’t even begin to remember what it was like to drive a four door sedan. I mean, who does that?

I am THAT mom. The one who meddles when her child gets assigned to an awful soccer coach and emails the sportsplex to have her changed to another coach. Why  yes, I did that. I am THAT mom!

I am THAT mom. The one who calls her 7yo’s teacher almost daily to get a progress report. The one, who reads nightly and makes her read out loud nightly because she’s struggling. I am that mom!

I am the one whose kids enjoy the drive through a little too much. WE are busy, and its easy sometimes. I am that mom!

I am THAT mom! I am the one who sits with her kids during sunday school, because it was the only way to get them to children’s church. You know what? It worked! I am THAT MOM!

I am the mom who cries every year on the first day of school! It doesn’t matter how many years we have been doing this, I am  THAT mom!

I am the mom who asks too many questions about her kid’s school day, because I need to know. I am THAT mom!

I am the mom who will let her kids argue a little too long, just to see if they can resolve it on their own. Perhaps I let those go on way too long. I am THAT mom.

I am the mom who forgot to leave the tooth fairy money under the pillow, and had to do a triple twirl gymnastic move to get it under the pillow while her kid was stretching , praying the whole time she didn’t see you just slide five dollars under the pillow. I am THAT mom.

I am a helicopter  mom, a free range mom, a working mom.  I am a super strict mom, and little too relaxed mom, sometimes a Pinterest mom, and embarrassing mom, a sharing too much mom. I am all of them. I am THAT mom. Shout out to all the  mommies with all the personalities and all the labels. May we wear them all well 🙂

 

Posted in mommyhood

Today I cried

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while,so that we can see life with a

No one likes to see their kid struggle. No one.. It has been an emotional couple of months with a rollercoaster of emotions to go right along with it. Ever since we received the diagnosis, we have faced a whirlwind of challenges. beginning making the decision to medicate, and now increasing that medication because the lowest dose  of her medication just isn’t working well enough.

This whole year I have tried to do it all. I have tried to be the dedicated employee, the reading tutor, mom, wife, while attempting to maintaining a clean household ( insert laugh here, failing at that one!), getting the other two kids to Soccer practice each week, arriving on time to each game ( all with having snacks, water and appropriate equipment) and finding time for me to possibly excercise read or just do something for me! It’s been hard y’all. Damn hard!

So today, as i was sitting yet again with the guidance counselor at school to discuss mini me’s performannce i cried. I cried because i don’t want her to have to repeat the first grade. I cried because i feel the weight of the world resting on my shoulders. I cried because i don’t feel like there is anyone i can talk to about all of this. I cried because part of me feels like a failure because i am not enough to help her overcome these challenges. Today, I just cried!

 

Posted in mommyhood

Community

I have been thinking about community a lot lately. Last weekend we attended a community event to raise  money for the children of a mother who was died violently in our area.  The event was kid friendly with carnival games, face painting and prizes for the little ones. There was even barrel racing and silent auctions. I was amazed at the sheer amount of people who not only volunteered their time, but donated the items for auction, food and prizes. You could feel God’s presence during this event as if he was wrapping his arms around these two children who will grow up without their mother.

Although, I did not know this woman personally, her story has sat with me for a while. This could happen to any of us, and the thought of leaving my children is just too much to bear .  It’s amazing what a group of people or community can do in the face of tragedy. WE can lift each other up, help one another, bring a sense of peace that was not there before. Which leads me to wonder, why can’t we do this every day?

My 7yo wrote the following paragraph on president’s day.

wp-1490191512111.jpgWouldn’t you vote for her? What a smart girl huh? My mommy pride was in beaming affect after reading this passage . Kids are much more intuitive than we ever give them credit for. You see, we drive by the same homeless man every day. I am pretty sure I have never mentioned him to the kids and just drive past as if he wasn’t standing there in need. I have wanted to stop, but have always been too busy, too everything i guess.  WE help in the mist of tragedy yet, aren’t those who do not have homes considered a tragedy?

This sweet daughter of mine, has me thinking of this man daily now and how we can help. Maybe its a simple meal for lunch, maybe its a kind conversation, maybe its just the acknowledgement that yes, he is sitting there on the same corner of the street every day for the past several years.  Today, I will pledge to help this man in some way. i want my children to know that they can make a difference in the community,no matter how small. Even the smallest gestures can lead to the biggest impacts in others lives. The community event that we attended started out as an idea for barrel racing to raise money and turned into quite the event. While this event will make an impact on those children financially, there can be no price placed on the impact it has had on me!

How can you make a differene today?

Posted in mommyhood

Bring them to Church

Today I sat at the dining room table live streaming the sermon from church. We have recently started attending church and due to the late night New Year’s eve partying (not quite to midnight but still stayed awake till 10pm, Ha!),  we decided to let the kids continue sleeping.

As the pastor was speaking, I swear it was as if he was talking directly to me. He was talking about raising children and spending time praying with them, choosing godly friends for them and setting the example for faithfulness.

I am embarrassed to admit that attending church is something new to our family. It is not as if we didn’t believe B.C. (before children) or anything. We just simply stopped being intentional in our faith. Life became chaotic and before we could realize, our faith and God was put on the back burner.

Today’s sermon reminded me of our first day at church. It’s the church my sister-in-law and her husband attend, so we decided to give it a try. unfortunately we kind of sprung it on the kids, so they were a little apprehensive.

First we took the older kids to sunday school, where we registered them and me and the hubby had to get fingerprints scanned and our pictures taken. I have to say I was quite impressed. Too Bad the kids were not as impressed. When it came time to take their photos tears came streaming down as if we had told them they were getting the flu vaccine. The people who worked there were really nice but my poor kids were just not going to cooperate. We toured, then we politely said maybe next time.

If that wasn’t enough, it was time to walk the 4yo to his preschool class. Silly me thought it would be easier for him since his cousin would be in the same class. That would be a big fat no on the easy front. He screamed and the teacher had to quite literally peel him off of me. Her words were ” just let me take him and run momma!” so that I did.

After what felt like a lifetime, we finally made it to the service. Arriving to church early and now late for the service thanks to the fiasco of trying to get the kids into class. We had sat down for all of five minutes when the oldest stated she was bored. So back to Sunday school we went!

It was right after I dropped the oldest to class and made it back downstairs that I received the text. 4yo is still upset and completely inconsolable. What? my son? So I turned my butt around the corner to the preschool and sure enough, they had pulled my son out of the classroom in an attempt to calm him down with one on one attention, but no. He was still crying inconsolably. The only thing I could do was grab that sweet boy and head back to church. Did I mention we were sitting in the very back row at the top of the stairs? Yep, I had to carry my 4yo all the way back up those steps in heels. Whew! Now with the 4yo in my lap I could get my church on!

The truth is I was anxious. I really didn’t pay that much attention that first day, because all the chaos stressed me out. Part of me wondered if this would all be worth it. Is stressing myself and my kids out worth going through this every Sunday? I wasn’t really sure. But  then I began reading a bible study called Walking with God in the Season of Motherhood. That’s when I began to understand.

I was reading Day four of the first week in the study, when it began talking about bringing our children to God. The author shares an experience a friend had with her children not being welcome in the adult church and explains that it really isn’t a church you would want to attend then. What I learned was, that God wants us to continue to try to show up even when it’s hard. Even when its stressful, we should still try. So we did. My kids sit with me and my husband in the adult services bored, and flopping all over those church pews but they sit quietly and we show up. I hope that one day my kids will feel comfortable attending the children’s services but how wonderful to attend a church that isn’t bothered with children in the service. My parents always sent us to church on a bus and never attended with us so I like that we do this as a family. What a blessing.

People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. he said to them ” Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.  And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them. – Mark 10:13-14,16.

 

 

 

Posted in mommyhood

Some days I am drowning

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You look tired. I cringed as my mother said this to me last night. It’s just a nice way of telling someone they look like crap. The truth is, I was tired last night. I was downright exhausted actually. The 4yo has been super clingy lately and I can’t even go pee without an audience who may or may not be clinging to my leg saying mommy don’t leave. These days I can’t even go pee alone. It is the very essence of exhaustion.

I read another bloggers post today  about the best piece of parenting advice she has received. That advice being to take time for yourself. Something I used to be much better about but somewhere forgotten along the way.

I am not sure if it’s because the husband works so hard and has to get up at 2a.m so he is constantly tired, or if finishing school made me feel as if I couldn’t take anymore time away from the kids but somewhere along the way I stopped taking time for myself. Between 9yo’s cognitive behavior therapy, soccer training, 7yo’s poor grades, 4yo’s sudden clinginess  and attempting to keep up with the house ( although i have lost that battle) i am drowning.

I typically choose words to live by each year instead of a normal new years resolution. I find that setting a goal to lose weight etc. just doesn’t work for me. While I still need to reflect on some words to live by in the year , you can bet they will include something in regards to taking some small amount of daily time for myself. It’s just too important for our physical and mental well-being.

Today I will make a point to spend a few minutes alone to recharge. The funny thing is, at work people think I am an extrovert when the truth is I turn on the extrovert due to necessity but I am completely drained when I get home. I need that time alone to recharge and I suppose the same goes for parents who are extroverts or really just any parent. WE need that alone time to recharge. When the hubby gets home from work, I fully intend to get a cup of coffee by myself and bring a book with me to read. It may only be twenty minutes, but I need it! Even now as i type, the 4yo is yelling “I want momma!” sigh.. guess it’s time to go. Please share your stories with me. I could use the encouragement today.

How do  you take time for yourself while in the depths of child rearing?

 

 

Posted in mommy mishaps

A tale of one mom’s attempt at the family dinner

crazy-house1

Lately our schedules have been jam-packed with soccer practices, games , homework and other scheduled events. I thought  it would be nice to take the time to make a nice dinner and sit together as a family. This is something we are not so good at, even when life is not so hectic.

With visions of laughter and  conversation in my head. I chopped those veggies and roasted the chicken. Yes, my mind had a perfect dinner with perfect conversation and togetherness with our family. I know, I know.. stop laughing at me okay. A girl can dream!

The truth is, with all the craziness, I am finding it hard to connect as a family. The hubby and I split up and one takes a kid to Soccer while the other sits at home and does the whole homework routine. It is chaos and leaves little to connect.

Dinner was almost done, when the oldest began to wail! I mean, what the heck is she crying for. Apparently the tail to her pikachu came off and will need to be sewn back on. To me, a simple fix. To her, the end of life as we know it.

At this point, I began to plate the food when the middle kid asks me what’s for dinner. I explain that it is chicken and she immediately asks for ketchup. Sure you can have Ketchup I say when she looks at the plates and realizes it is not chicken nuggets! It’s not dinosaur chicken, she says in disgust! Nope, not dinosaur chicken. It’s real CHICKEN!! JUST EAT IT! I must have looked like a mental patient because she gave me an odd look and says nope, its gross!

The four-year old looks at me and says ” I love chicken and veggies”! Yes, a kid who might actually eat what I cook! I ask the hubby to come help, but he is walking around whining.. something about being constipated and then disappears. Are you freaking kidding me! The 4yo is already at the table when i call the girls over for dinner. begrudgingly the oldest comes to the table. The 7yo isn’t interested and begins running around. I don’t like that chicken, something to that effect. Meanwhile oldest takes a bit and refuses to eat more! Says it doesn’t taste good, begins crying about her Pikachu.. Good lord, this experiment has failed! Somebody wants milk, I’m just trying to take one bite while it’s hot and where the hell is my husband! Oh.. he’s just trying to poop one of the kids says.. Uggh!

By the time the husband comes out, we have finished dinner and he is still complaining about his stomach! Sighh.. It’s time for bath and bed. This mommy is tired!

 

Posted in mommyhood

I get to do this!

I am sitting her drinking my coffee and thinking about the events for the day ahead. The kids are still asleep so it is just me and all the quiet I will not see again until after bedtime tonight. First we have the 8yo and 3yo’s  soccer games. Then we have lunch and with any luck nap time for the youngest while I clean the house a little. After that, its fall festivals and Halloween trunk or treats. We have missed several activities due to our new found love of soccer, so there will be trunk or treating! Busy schedules and party planning be damned!

When people first hear that I work full time, am a student anywhere from full time to part time, and manage a blog, they often look at me and claim I am super woman. The next question almost always follows suit. “How do you do it”?  I typically laugh this off to keep the conversation light and provide my standard response of “I just don’t stop and think about it.”

The truth is, I think about it. I am exhausted and most days seem to daunting. I am not the supermom that everyone seems to think that I am. I cry out of sheer exhaustion. Today, I set my alarm at 4am  on a Saturday to complete homework, because I can barely keep my eyes open at 9pm at night. Today, I am up at 4am to begin house cleaning for my son’s birthday party tomorrow, because tonight I will spend time with my kids.

I read a paragraph two days ago that spoke to me on a level I didn’t realize I needed. The passage talked about feeling overwhelmed by daunting tasks. This one line has changed my way of thinking ( at least for now) for the better. When you feel life is overwhelming you, train your thinking from I have to do this, to I get to do this!

When I think of all the things I get to do, I am overwhelmed with pride and happiness instead of exhaustion and hopelessness. I get to be my children’s mom and I get to go to school. I have spoken to many woman who would like to go to school, but can’t because their spouse isn’t supportive of the decision or there are financial impacts that they just can’t manage right now.

I get to be a working mom who loves her job and her children. I get to work at a job that allows me to put my children first and remains supportive and flexible when I need to attend a seminar at the kids school, or take them to their appointments. I get to take my kids to soccer practice and see the enjoyment on their faces when they kick the ball down the field. I get to do this!

While it has only been a couple of days, these few little words have been life changing! I encourage you to try it when you feel life is daunting. Share your stories and comments below. What do you get to do?

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