Posted in mommyhood

I am THAT Mom!

Yes, I am THAT mom! The one wearing the soccer mom hat, shamelessly cheering her kids on at the soccer game. The one who took over 400 photos at the soccer game. Yes… I am THAT mom!

I posted the above photo to my Facebook page  realizing that I had in fact become THAT mom! The one we made fun of as we began to start our families. You know, the ones we swore that we would never become. I would be a cool mom, at least that’s what I thought.

The truth is.. I am THAT mom. The one who drives a mini van piled high with toys and sports gear and can’t even begin to remember what it was like to drive a four door sedan. I mean, who does that?

I am THAT mom. The one who meddles when her child gets assigned to an awful soccer coach and emails the sportsplex to have her changed to another coach. Why  yes, I did that. I am THAT mom!

I am THAT mom. The one who calls her 7yo’s teacher almost daily to get a progress report. The one, who reads nightly and makes her read out loud nightly because she’s struggling. I am that mom!

I am the one whose kids enjoy the drive through a little too much. WE are busy, and its easy sometimes. I am that mom!

I am THAT mom! I am the one who sits with her kids during sunday school, because it was the only way to get them to children’s church. You know what? It worked! I am THAT MOM!

I am the mom who cries every year on the first day of school! It doesn’t matter how many years we have been doing this, I am  THAT mom!

I am the mom who asks too many questions about her kid’s school day, because I need to know. I am THAT mom!

I am the mom who will let her kids argue a little too long, just to see if they can resolve it on their own. Perhaps I let those go on way too long. I am THAT mom.

I am the mom who forgot to leave the tooth fairy money under the pillow, and had to do a triple twirl gymnastic move to get it under the pillow while her kid was stretching , praying the whole time she didn’t see you just slide five dollars under the pillow. I am THAT mom.

I am a helicopter  mom, a free range mom, a working mom.  I am a super strict mom, and little too relaxed mom, sometimes a Pinterest mom, and embarrassing mom, a sharing too much mom. I am all of them. I am THAT mom. Shout out to all the  mommies with all the personalities and all the labels. May we wear them all well 🙂

 

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Posted in mommyhood

When you can’t be everything…give yourself a little grace

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There are days when you feel like you are rocking the mom department, and days when you feel like there just isn’t enough of you to go around. The 7yo has been sick and began to lose her voice, when she spiked a fever and actually asked for pain medicine for her throat. She no longer has her tonsils, however it is still possible for her to get strep throat. The decision was made to take her to the doctor this morning. Get her tested just in case.

You are probably wondering what the dilemma is at this point. Well, you see it’s Saturday and 8yo’s very first soccer game! You read that right. My shy, introverted little girl has decided that soccer looks fun enough to join. After weeks of her asking, we decided to let her try it and see how things go. So far, she really seems to enjoy it and says it is her favorite sport. Her game is at the same time as her brother’s so we decided that dividing and conquering the games would be best. Her request was that mommy watch her play first. Sigh.. now how to break the news.

As I am caring for the 7yo, I am blaming myself. Why can’t I be two places at once? Why can’t I be everything to everyone? Why can’t I meet all of my children’s needs? Why am I not enough? Yes, I was having a moment. This first game is important to me, but taking care of 7yo is also very important.

After calling  the husband at work, who will soon be on his way home , it was time to tell 8yo. Bracing myself for an emotional upset, I explained the situation. I told her that 7yo is sick and mommy has to take her to get checked out. I will have to miss the game. Bracing myself, ,my 8yo gave me the grace I didn’t realize I needed. The grace that I had refused to give myself. She simply looks at my and says ” It’s okay mommy. You have a really good reason for not coming.”

Sometimes I forget that this child is wise beyond her years. Sometimes I forget that despite her OCD, anxiety and emotional issues, she has made amazing progress. Sometimes, I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and forget to give myself a little grace. Today, this child gave me the grace I needed. Today, god gave me the grace I needed. I had written hopes of attending the game, when the pediatrician said that 7yo simply had seasonal allergies. He sore throat from pure sinus drainage. We even made it to the soccer game in time to watch most of 8yo’s game! Some might question, the need for all this drama, but I know it was gods way of teaching me to have a little grace 🙂

 

 

Posted in mommyhood

When the ordinary becomes extraordinary

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The monotony of every day child rearing can be challenging, exhausting and ultimately make you feel as if the life is being sucked right out of you. Each obstacle requires a new energy that you just do not feel is left in you. Sometimes making you feel as if you just might crumble in to  pieces to never return whole again.

We muddle through mundane, after school activities, homework, dinner and bath time. All of these moments just seemingly ordinary. What we forget is that the ordinary is the extraordinary and we just have to open our eyes to see the positive rays of energy around us. In other words, you are doing good job mom!

If you have followed my blog, then you know that  8yo struggled with OCD tendencies and symptoms of depression due to MTHFR, and the 6yo has been struggling with learning her sight words and reading in Kindergarten. Each of these challenges requiring a very different kind of energy from myself and my husband.

We have had to work hard, making sure to spend extra time on the weekends reading and finding creative ways for the 6yo to enjoy reading and memorizing these words. Before Christmas she had learned 50% of the sight words she was introduced to.  We were even given a letter stating that she could possibly be held back in Kindergarten for this very reason.

Every two weeks the 8yo has a counseling session help her learn coping techniques with her OCD tendencies. She is also learning how to recognize her emotions and learning to deal with emotions in a productive way. Needless to say, ensuring that she makes to therapy every two weeks and the sessions themselves are daunting.

These obstacles have left me feeling frustrated, exhausted and as if I just might crumble into pieces. At any given time I am trying to be the best mom I can be, the best wife, daughter, employee while giving 100% every time. It’s exhausting.

Stay with me because  here is where the darkness turns into light. I decided to take Friday off work to enjoy 8yo’s play and spend time in the classroom with her. After the play, I went and bought some surprise cupcakes for her class. When I returned to her class, she had the biggest smile on her face yelled excitedly ” you didn’t tell me you were bringing cupcakes!” To most people, this is a normal child reaction when they are excited, but for my daughter this was extraordinary. Her normal flat affect is changing and improving. She was excited and I could have cried right there, but I didn’t. I sat those cupcakes down and played with my daughter and her friends.

Her teacher and I talked for a bit and she explained how wonderful g. Shed friends with a boy who has a speech impairment and no friends. She then tells me how compassionate 8yo is. That she is always looking out for the lowest man on the totem pole.8yo is also going to be screened for gifted studies soon. She is performing better than anyone in her class and reads out loud to her class daily..See extraordinary.

After lunch, I  received a text message from the 6yo’s teacher saying to have a good weekend. Attached was a picture of the 6yo’s most recent reading assessment. She is now recognizing 90% of her sight words. She is fine and no longer in jeopardy of retention. She has been selected as the student of the month for the entire Kindergarten population. See.. Extraordinary.

When you pay attention, there is extraordinary in the ordinary mundane life that is known as child rearing. It is hard work, but boy is it worth it. You are doing a great job mom! Keep at it, remember to take time for yourself when needed, and look for the extraordinary within. Now, I am at this moment going to play in the extraordinary blanket fort built by my kids. They have awesome imaginations.

 

Posted in mommyhood

No More Tutus…

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Tears came to my eyes, as a picture of 6yo’s first dace recital dress popped up on my Facebook memories. This is a nice feature added to Facebook, however today, it made me a little sad.

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On Christmas Eve, 6yo came running to me and informed me that she no longer wanted to go to dance. She wouldn’t give me a reason why, just that she no longer wanted to go. The thought of her quitting hurt my heart a little since the oldest decided to quit this year as well. Due to her anxiety issues, we decided to go ahead and let her quit because it was causing her too much stress to go to Ballet. That was months ago, that she stopped. Now ,my only one left in dance wants to quit also! It was too much. I just told her we would talk about it later and left it at that.

I think part  of me was hoping that she would forget that she wanted to quit. Part of me felt like she was only saying it because the oldest wasn’t going anymore. Part of me still thinks that is true.

This week we were to return to dance and get measured for recital dresses. The husband picked her up and I met them at the studio. She seemed fine, until she wasn’t. She would not go in to the studio for measurements. Then the studio owner came over and said “honey if you don’t like to dance, then tell  your mom.” “It’s okay if you don’t but your mom pays a lot of money to let you come here so tell her if you don’t like it anymore.” That was it, there was no going back. 6yo decided she was done. I know the owner was trying to be helpful, but I really don’t think she dislikes dance. I really think it has something to do with big sis not being there. Unfortunately the kid isn’t talking, so we decided to withdraw, It wasn’t like I  could drag her in there kicking and screaming now could I?

It’s funny because my next thought was okay, if not Ballet then what? Somehow I have this idea in my head that the kids HAVE to be involved in something! We have to keep them busy and involved in extracurricular activities. I am not really sure where this came from. Is it the idealist poster family who have 2.2 kids who are involved in dance, sports and music lessons portrayed on t.v., Facebook and well everywhere.. I am not sure.

Today, we were all exhausted and tired. The kids had their first week back at school from winter break and well, they needed a break. So we stayed home in our pajamas and played. WE built towers out of Legos, played Jenga and watched movies together. WE were just simply there. There was no agenda, no hurrying to the next task or event. It was what we needed.

That is when hit me. These kids need time to just be kids. They don’t have to be involved in anything yet unless they choose to be. It’s not about me, i’s about them. Kindergarten has been challenging for  and comes home exhausted every night and barely makes it to bath time before falling asleep on the couch. There are days we are completing homework in the  morning s because she did fall asleep on the couch. She needs this time off.

So for know, we are just going to take the rest of this year off. We can explore other ventures next year. I am going to let my kids be kids without the pressures of dance classes and recitals. I am not going say that it doesn’t suck for me. We had some great times at that dance studio. My girls were becoming beautiful dancers. So if you will excuse me, I am going to continue to look at these pictures and cry….

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Posted in mommyhood

My daughter said what!

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Kids should come with some sort of warning when they speak sometimes. You know, the kind of flashing ,neon orange sign that says warning your kid is about to say something that is going to make you choke if you are eating!  Maybe then we wouldn’t be caught off guard when they say something that knocks our socks off!

Picture this.. three kids eating their lunch while conversing. Myself at the sink, cleaning the meal I just made and I hear it! My sweet kind of crazy innocent little six year old says something smells. Then almost nonexistent I hear, “Something smells like vagina!” What!! I come to a screeching hault and say can you repeat that? There was no mistake in what she said! ” Something smells like vagina!” Well, shit.. how do I handle this one?

It’s not that I have a problem with the word vagina. You can read about me teaching my kids their proper names here. I just can’t believe she has ever heard that phrase before?  What are they teaching these kids at school these days?

I have learned that Kindergarten is tough these days and anything goes. The best I can do is explain to my kid that she can’t say things like that because it is just rude and offensive. I never thought I would be praying for Kindergarten to end. The 6yo has witnessed bullying and learning some inappropriate behaviors. All I can say, is Thank the lord she didn’t say something smells like vagina in front of someone else!!!

 

Posted in Every day mom link-up

Every Day Mom Link up 7-11-15

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As I sit here and drink my coffee I am reminded to post the link up! I was up till midnight cleaning my house and making it livable again! uggh! Everyone does that right, because there just is no point in cleaning when the kids are awake. Too bad my internal alarm clock would not let me sleep past 6am…

Any ways I hope you all have a great weekend and link up to out every day mom blog party! This post is for dad’s too! Just link up any parenting piece that you want to share and read some other blogs while you are at it! Spread the word because we love having a big turn out to the party. It is always so much fun  read each others work. It’s short and sweet today, so I hope you all have a great weekend and I look forward to reading your posts 🙂

Posted in mommyhood

No more Diapers..No more wipes..No more stinky poopy nights…

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Okay so I might still have some stinky poopy nights but you get the idea. Buddy (2yo) has began to successfully potty train! he has been in his big boy underwear for almost a week now and seems to be doing great!

A bit of nostalgia hits as I think of my last baby in leaving the world of diaperhood. It’s an amazing and exciting time while being equally disheartening at the same time. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that not buying diapers is the equivalent of a small pay raise or anything! Because hey, that’s the perk of it all!

The thought of this time of our life has me missing those baby days and they aren’t completely over yet. Or are they? He already talks in full sentences and has for some time now. I swear he went straight from crawling to running, there was no walking for this boy!

So here I am missing those cuddles and sweet coos. For all of you wondering if I am having baby fever well fear not! We are done! Three is quite enough to keep us mildly insane thank you! There is just something about the last child in diapers that brings a tear to your eyes.

Okay, teary moment over! I was asked by a fellow blogger for some potty training tips so I am going to try and incorporate that in this post. After three kids I think we finally have this potty training down so I am happy to share what I know with you, which may not be much but here goes!

  1. Timing is everything.. We waited a long time with the oldest and she would have been ready sooner but her parents were not quite ready! So do not wait too long if the bambino is showing signs of readiness! otherwise it will take longer to potty train as said bambino will get used to being Lazy!!

  2. Rewards as a last resort! we had to do the sticker chart/prizes with the oldest to get her motivated but then she expected a toy every time she pooped for years to come! So tread lightly on that one.. Going potty should be an expectation not something rewarded unless as a last resort!

  3. Remember who the child is.. We tried potty training early with the second child to prevent the same situation as the oldest. Well. No dice.. She would not have it so we stopped.. Then one glorious day she decided on her own that she needed to go potty, went to the bathroom handled her business and has been going ever since! no fanfare needed!!

  4. Praise,Praise and more Praise... I know I said no prizes earlier but make a big deal and clamp and cheer when they do go potty!! especially in those early stages.. This is what has worked for my 2yo!! he gets so excited and claps and cheers!!!

  5. Understand when there are accidents.. Do not shame them, just simply say oh I wish you had used the potty but let’s go clean you up. This will not bring any attention to the act other than just setting the behavior.

  6. Timing is everything again.. Know your child’s schedule and take them every hour if you have to until they begin to tell you when they have to go.. I for the first few days would set an alarm and take him every hour. It is alot of work but now can take him every hour and a half and soon he will begin telling me instead of me telling him.

  7. No potty Seats!! I hate these things and they are completely disgusting! Sorry but I clean bedpans at work and am not about to do the same at home!!I have potty trained all three of my kids on a regular toilet.

  8. Pull ups only at night!! Pull ups are good at night but in my experience when used in the daytime are used as even more expensive diapers. Be prepared for accidents and leakage with underwear but really is the only way to train your toddler.

  9. Do not stress the child. Potty training can be a stressful time and I even read a statistic that most child abuse begins when a child is potty training. Relax and do not put that much pressure on yourself or that little one!! The more he or she stresses the more accidents will happen. Resolve carpet cleaner is a great thing to have on hand!! Besides When in doubt toss it out!! I had to toss a recliner out one time.. Serous this is no lie!!

  10. Dad will never be as good as mom.. This is just a fact!! My husband was home with the kids for a few hours today and did he take buddy to the potty once.. Umm no he did not! Oh and kids always want mom to wipe their butts.. just saying!! No really it kind of sucks….

Okay so I hoped you enjoyed my tips of the trade.. Maybe you got a giggle, I know I did! Potty training can be fun and can be stressful. In my case a little sad. Embrace this milestone and get ready for the next because they grow at rapid pace and we are all just along for the ride!