Posted in mommyhood

I am THAT Mom!

Yes, I am THAT mom! The one wearing the soccer mom hat, shamelessly cheering her kids on at the soccer game. The one who took over 400 photos at the soccer game. Yes… I am THAT mom!

I posted the above photo to my Facebook page  realizing that I had in fact become THAT mom! The one we made fun of as we began to start our families. You know, the ones we swore that we would never become. I would be a cool mom, at least that’s what I thought.

The truth is.. I am THAT mom. The one who drives a mini van piled high with toys and sports gear and can’t even begin to remember what it was like to drive a four door sedan. I mean, who does that?

I am THAT mom. The one who meddles when her child gets assigned to an awful soccer coach and emails the sportsplex to have her changed to another coach. Why  yes, I did that. I am THAT mom!

I am THAT mom. The one who calls her 7yo’s teacher almost daily to get a progress report. The one, who reads nightly and makes her read out loud nightly because she’s struggling. I am that mom!

I am the one whose kids enjoy the drive through a little too much. WE are busy, and its easy sometimes. I am that mom!

I am THAT mom! I am the one who sits with her kids during sunday school, because it was the only way to get them to children’s church. You know what? It worked! I am THAT MOM!

I am the mom who cries every year on the first day of school! It doesn’t matter how many years we have been doing this, I am  THAT mom!

I am the mom who asks too many questions about her kid’s school day, because I need to know. I am THAT mom!

I am the mom who will let her kids argue a little too long, just to see if they can resolve it on their own. Perhaps I let those go on way too long. I am THAT mom.

I am the mom who forgot to leave the tooth fairy money under the pillow, and had to do a triple twirl gymnastic move to get it under the pillow while her kid was stretching , praying the whole time she didn’t see you just slide five dollars under the pillow. I am THAT mom.

I am a helicopter  mom, a free range mom, a working mom.  I am a super strict mom, and little too relaxed mom, sometimes a Pinterest mom, and embarrassing mom, a sharing too much mom. I am all of them. I am THAT mom. Shout out to all the  mommies with all the personalities and all the labels. May we wear them all well 🙂

 

Posted in mommyhood

When you can’t be everything…give yourself a little grace

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There are days when you feel like you are rocking the mom department, and days when you feel like there just isn’t enough of you to go around. The 7yo has been sick and began to lose her voice, when she spiked a fever and actually asked for pain medicine for her throat. She no longer has her tonsils, however it is still possible for her to get strep throat. The decision was made to take her to the doctor this morning. Get her tested just in case.

You are probably wondering what the dilemma is at this point. Well, you see it’s Saturday and 8yo’s very first soccer game! You read that right. My shy, introverted little girl has decided that soccer looks fun enough to join. After weeks of her asking, we decided to let her try it and see how things go. So far, she really seems to enjoy it and says it is her favorite sport. Her game is at the same time as her brother’s so we decided that dividing and conquering the games would be best. Her request was that mommy watch her play first. Sigh.. now how to break the news.

As I am caring for the 7yo, I am blaming myself. Why can’t I be two places at once? Why can’t I be everything to everyone? Why can’t I meet all of my children’s needs? Why am I not enough? Yes, I was having a moment. This first game is important to me, but taking care of 7yo is also very important.

After calling  the husband at work, who will soon be on his way home , it was time to tell 8yo. Bracing myself for an emotional upset, I explained the situation. I told her that 7yo is sick and mommy has to take her to get checked out. I will have to miss the game. Bracing myself, ,my 8yo gave me the grace I didn’t realize I needed. The grace that I had refused to give myself. She simply looks at my and says ” It’s okay mommy. You have a really good reason for not coming.”

Sometimes I forget that this child is wise beyond her years. Sometimes I forget that despite her OCD, anxiety and emotional issues, she has made amazing progress. Sometimes, I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and forget to give myself a little grace. Today, this child gave me the grace I needed. Today, god gave me the grace I needed. I had written hopes of attending the game, when the pediatrician said that 7yo simply had seasonal allergies. He sore throat from pure sinus drainage. We even made it to the soccer game in time to watch most of 8yo’s game! Some might question, the need for all this drama, but I know it was gods way of teaching me to have a little grace 🙂

 

 

Posted in mommyhood

When the ordinary becomes extraordinary

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The monotony of every day child rearing can be challenging, exhausting and ultimately make you feel as if the life is being sucked right out of you. Each obstacle requires a new energy that you just do not feel is left in you. Sometimes making you feel as if you just might crumble in to  pieces to never return whole again.

We muddle through mundane, after school activities, homework, dinner and bath time. All of these moments just seemingly ordinary. What we forget is that the ordinary is the extraordinary and we just have to open our eyes to see the positive rays of energy around us. In other words, you are doing good job mom!

If you have followed my blog, then you know that  8yo struggled with OCD tendencies and symptoms of depression due to MTHFR, and the 6yo has been struggling with learning her sight words and reading in Kindergarten. Each of these challenges requiring a very different kind of energy from myself and my husband.

We have had to work hard, making sure to spend extra time on the weekends reading and finding creative ways for the 6yo to enjoy reading and memorizing these words. Before Christmas she had learned 50% of the sight words she was introduced to.  We were even given a letter stating that she could possibly be held back in Kindergarten for this very reason.

Every two weeks the 8yo has a counseling session help her learn coping techniques with her OCD tendencies. She is also learning how to recognize her emotions and learning to deal with emotions in a productive way. Needless to say, ensuring that she makes to therapy every two weeks and the sessions themselves are daunting.

These obstacles have left me feeling frustrated, exhausted and as if I just might crumble into pieces. At any given time I am trying to be the best mom I can be, the best wife, daughter, employee while giving 100% every time. It’s exhausting.

Stay with me because  here is where the darkness turns into light. I decided to take Friday off work to enjoy 8yo’s play and spend time in the classroom with her. After the play, I went and bought some surprise cupcakes for her class. When I returned to her class, she had the biggest smile on her face yelled excitedly ” you didn’t tell me you were bringing cupcakes!” To most people, this is a normal child reaction when they are excited, but for my daughter this was extraordinary. Her normal flat affect is changing and improving. She was excited and I could have cried right there, but I didn’t. I sat those cupcakes down and played with my daughter and her friends.

Her teacher and I talked for a bit and she explained how wonderful g. Shed friends with a boy who has a speech impairment and no friends. She then tells me how compassionate 8yo is. That she is always looking out for the lowest man on the totem pole.8yo is also going to be screened for gifted studies soon. She is performing better than anyone in her class and reads out loud to her class daily..See extraordinary.

After lunch, I  received a text message from the 6yo’s teacher saying to have a good weekend. Attached was a picture of the 6yo’s most recent reading assessment. She is now recognizing 90% of her sight words. She is fine and no longer in jeopardy of retention. She has been selected as the student of the month for the entire Kindergarten population. See.. Extraordinary.

When you pay attention, there is extraordinary in the ordinary mundane life that is known as child rearing. It is hard work, but boy is it worth it. You are doing a great job mom! Keep at it, remember to take time for yourself when needed, and look for the extraordinary within. Now, I am at this moment going to play in the extraordinary blanket fort built by my kids. They have awesome imaginations.

 

Posted in mommyhood

No More Tutus…

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Tears came to my eyes, as a picture of 6yo’s first dace recital dress popped up on my Facebook memories. This is a nice feature added to Facebook, however today, it made me a little sad.

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On Christmas Eve, 6yo came running to me and informed me that she no longer wanted to go to dance. She wouldn’t give me a reason why, just that she no longer wanted to go. The thought of her quitting hurt my heart a little since the oldest decided to quit this year as well. Due to her anxiety issues, we decided to go ahead and let her quit because it was causing her too much stress to go to Ballet. That was months ago, that she stopped. Now ,my only one left in dance wants to quit also! It was too much. I just told her we would talk about it later and left it at that.

I think part  of me was hoping that she would forget that she wanted to quit. Part of me felt like she was only saying it because the oldest wasn’t going anymore. Part of me still thinks that is true.

This week we were to return to dance and get measured for recital dresses. The husband picked her up and I met them at the studio. She seemed fine, until she wasn’t. She would not go in to the studio for measurements. Then the studio owner came over and said “honey if you don’t like to dance, then tell  your mom.” “It’s okay if you don’t but your mom pays a lot of money to let you come here so tell her if you don’t like it anymore.” That was it, there was no going back. 6yo decided she was done. I know the owner was trying to be helpful, but I really don’t think she dislikes dance. I really think it has something to do with big sis not being there. Unfortunately the kid isn’t talking, so we decided to withdraw, It wasn’t like I  could drag her in there kicking and screaming now could I?

It’s funny because my next thought was okay, if not Ballet then what? Somehow I have this idea in my head that the kids HAVE to be involved in something! We have to keep them busy and involved in extracurricular activities. I am not really sure where this came from. Is it the idealist poster family who have 2.2 kids who are involved in dance, sports and music lessons portrayed on t.v., Facebook and well everywhere.. I am not sure.

Today, we were all exhausted and tired. The kids had their first week back at school from winter break and well, they needed a break. So we stayed home in our pajamas and played. WE built towers out of Legos, played Jenga and watched movies together. WE were just simply there. There was no agenda, no hurrying to the next task or event. It was what we needed.

That is when hit me. These kids need time to just be kids. They don’t have to be involved in anything yet unless they choose to be. It’s not about me, i’s about them. Kindergarten has been challenging for  and comes home exhausted every night and barely makes it to bath time before falling asleep on the couch. There are days we are completing homework in the  morning s because she did fall asleep on the couch. She needs this time off.

So for know, we are just going to take the rest of this year off. We can explore other ventures next year. I am going to let my kids be kids without the pressures of dance classes and recitals. I am not going say that it doesn’t suck for me. We had some great times at that dance studio. My girls were becoming beautiful dancers. So if you will excuse me, I am going to continue to look at these pictures and cry….

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Posted in mommyhood

My daughter said what!

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Kids should come with some sort of warning when they speak sometimes. You know, the kind of flashing ,neon orange sign that says warning your kid is about to say something that is going to make you choke if you are eating!  Maybe then we wouldn’t be caught off guard when they say something that knocks our socks off!

Picture this.. three kids eating their lunch while conversing. Myself at the sink, cleaning the meal I just made and I hear it! My sweet kind of crazy innocent little six year old says something smells. Then almost nonexistent I hear, “Something smells like vagina!” What!! I come to a screeching hault and say can you repeat that? There was no mistake in what she said! ” Something smells like vagina!” Well, shit.. how do I handle this one?

It’s not that I have a problem with the word vagina. You can read about me teaching my kids their proper names here. I just can’t believe she has ever heard that phrase before?  What are they teaching these kids at school these days?

I have learned that Kindergarten is tough these days and anything goes. The best I can do is explain to my kid that she can’t say things like that because it is just rude and offensive. I never thought I would be praying for Kindergarten to end. The 6yo has witnessed bullying and learning some inappropriate behaviors. All I can say, is Thank the lord she didn’t say something smells like vagina in front of someone else!!!

 

Posted in Every day mom link-up

Every Day Mom Link up 7-11-15

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As I sit here and drink my coffee I am reminded to post the link up! I was up till midnight cleaning my house and making it livable again! uggh! Everyone does that right, because there just is no point in cleaning when the kids are awake. Too bad my internal alarm clock would not let me sleep past 6am…

Any ways I hope you all have a great weekend and link up to out every day mom blog party! This post is for dad’s too! Just link up any parenting piece that you want to share and read some other blogs while you are at it! Spread the word because we love having a big turn out to the party. It is always so much fun  read each others work. It’s short and sweet today, so I hope you all have a great weekend and I look forward to reading your posts 🙂

Posted in mommyhood

No more Diapers..No more wipes..No more stinky poopy nights…

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Okay so I might still have some stinky poopy nights but you get the idea. Buddy (2yo) has began to successfully potty train! he has been in his big boy underwear for almost a week now and seems to be doing great!

A bit of nostalgia hits as I think of my last baby in leaving the world of diaperhood. It’s an amazing and exciting time while being equally disheartening at the same time. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that not buying diapers is the equivalent of a small pay raise or anything! Because hey, that’s the perk of it all!

The thought of this time of our life has me missing those baby days and they aren’t completely over yet. Or are they? He already talks in full sentences and has for some time now. I swear he went straight from crawling to running, there was no walking for this boy!

So here I am missing those cuddles and sweet coos. For all of you wondering if I am having baby fever well fear not! We are done! Three is quite enough to keep us mildly insane thank you! There is just something about the last child in diapers that brings a tear to your eyes.

Okay, teary moment over! I was asked by a fellow blogger for some potty training tips so I am going to try and incorporate that in this post. After three kids I think we finally have this potty training down so I am happy to share what I know with you, which may not be much but here goes!

  1. Timing is everything.. We waited a long time with the oldest and she would have been ready sooner but her parents were not quite ready! So do not wait too long if the bambino is showing signs of readiness! otherwise it will take longer to potty train as said bambino will get used to being Lazy!!

  2. Rewards as a last resort! we had to do the sticker chart/prizes with the oldest to get her motivated but then she expected a toy every time she pooped for years to come! So tread lightly on that one.. Going potty should be an expectation not something rewarded unless as a last resort!

  3. Remember who the child is.. We tried potty training early with the second child to prevent the same situation as the oldest. Well. No dice.. She would not have it so we stopped.. Then one glorious day she decided on her own that she needed to go potty, went to the bathroom handled her business and has been going ever since! no fanfare needed!!

  4. Praise,Praise and more Praise... I know I said no prizes earlier but make a big deal and clamp and cheer when they do go potty!! especially in those early stages.. This is what has worked for my 2yo!! he gets so excited and claps and cheers!!!

  5. Understand when there are accidents.. Do not shame them, just simply say oh I wish you had used the potty but let’s go clean you up. This will not bring any attention to the act other than just setting the behavior.

  6. Timing is everything again.. Know your child’s schedule and take them every hour if you have to until they begin to tell you when they have to go.. I for the first few days would set an alarm and take him every hour. It is alot of work but now can take him every hour and a half and soon he will begin telling me instead of me telling him.

  7. No potty Seats!! I hate these things and they are completely disgusting! Sorry but I clean bedpans at work and am not about to do the same at home!!I have potty trained all three of my kids on a regular toilet.

  8. Pull ups only at night!! Pull ups are good at night but in my experience when used in the daytime are used as even more expensive diapers. Be prepared for accidents and leakage with underwear but really is the only way to train your toddler.

  9. Do not stress the child. Potty training can be a stressful time and I even read a statistic that most child abuse begins when a child is potty training. Relax and do not put that much pressure on yourself or that little one!! The more he or she stresses the more accidents will happen. Resolve carpet cleaner is a great thing to have on hand!! Besides When in doubt toss it out!! I had to toss a recliner out one time.. Serous this is no lie!!

  10. Dad will never be as good as mom.. This is just a fact!! My husband was home with the kids for a few hours today and did he take buddy to the potty once.. Umm no he did not! Oh and kids always want mom to wipe their butts.. just saying!! No really it kind of sucks….

Okay so I hoped you enjoyed my tips of the trade.. Maybe you got a giggle, I know I did! Potty training can be fun and can be stressful. In my case a little sad. Embrace this milestone and get ready for the next because they grow at rapid pace and we are all just along for the ride!

Posted in mommy mishaps, Uncategorized

Keep Calm I Am Not Smarter Than A First Grader

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I consider myself a well-educated woman! I have a college degree and am once again attending college to further my education. I like to teach and enjoy reading! So naturally my ever so inquisitive ( See big word, I told you I was smart) 6yo asks me questions all freaking day long!What is this, and Why is that? Which leaves me to ask my own question.

Why the hell do I not know the answers to the questions she is asking! I mean i should know, but the kid stumps me, every single time! So for your humorous pleasure I decided to list the ways in which I am not smarter than a first Grader

  1. I do not know if elephants are larger than giraffe’s! I guess it depends if you are talking height or weight.
  2. I can not tell you why the sky is blue.
  3. I do not know where the colors of the rainbow come from?
  4. I honestly cannot tell you where the tooth fairy is or how she knows that your tooth came out.
  5. nope I sure cannot tell you what 20 minus 7 is without counting on my fingers.
  6. Why does the sun circle the earth? Oh yeah I can’t tell you that one either
  7. Hmm Fractions! Did you know first graders start learning fractions! That information was dumped from my head after my first round of college!
  8. Is a Cheetah faster than a horse? Umm I think so….
  9. I absolutely did not know that a baby dolphin was called a calf!
  10. If you ask me to name all of the U.S. Presidents then I am going to tell you to Google it Kid!

OH Wait! You do not know what Google is! YES… At least I know something a First Grader doesn’t know!!

Posted in mommyhood, Uncategorized

Welcome back school

wpid-img_8824.jpg.jpgIt’s 7pm and as I drink my coffee in hopes to stay awake a little longer, My energy continues to deplete. A sign of the past week taking its toll. School started back for the both girls as well as myself! 4yo in preschool and 6yo in first grade. I still can’t believe they are old enough for school, but alas they are.

What am I taking you ask. Well this semester would be statistics, which if you know me, then you know I am sure to hate it! My instructor seems cool, so maybe it will not be so bad. Ballet also started back, so we are back to crazy schedules, tired mommy and kids, and poor eating habits. We are working on that one. we really are trying, but the stress eating always comes back.

First grader wouldn’t even let me walk her to class on the first day. She just simply looked at me and said “I got it!” The independence and strong will of that child never ceases to amaze me. I followed her wishes and let her walks herself to class, crying as I pulled away to the sight of my little girls with the big crowd of students walking into the school. Little girl, bid school I thought. Only she is not so little anymore. She will always be that little six pound baby to me. The one that loved to cuddle, the one that always wanted her mom nearby.

Preschooler did okay. She was quiet and seemed a little nervous as we waked in, but her teacher greeted her with open arm. Lots of the kids gathered around her to say hi, and I could see instantly that she would have no problem making friends. Is it weird that I worry about that? I guess I never want my kiddos to feel alone, or lost. I think that we lose much of our youth that way.wpid-20140818_072623.jpg

By Wednesday 4yo wasn’t looking that good, so the hubby took her to the doctor. immediately diagnosed with strep throat and scarlet fever. Oh boy, let the sickies begin. I remember first grader catching something once a week while in pre-k. I guess it’s good for her to build up her immunities before Kindergarten but boy do I hate seeing my fun-loving child sick. It’s just so heart breaking. Thankful for the antibiotics that seem to be helping. although she hates it, and I nearly have to wrestle her to the ground to get her to take  the medicine.

Statistics class seems okay so far, but it’s only been one week. I’m just ready to be done with school. If I could do one thing over again it would be that! I would have continued through and taken the bachelors classes after graduating nursing school! One year off turned in to ten, and well now trying to do it with three kids is just not ideal. It can be done, obviously since I am doing it, but is much more stressful with kids.

Work has been quite stressful with its never-ending meetings which undoubtedly takes me away from my actual job duties, causing me to have some late days at work. Hoping for a better week this week with that. All in all this past week went almost smooth, however we are all just exhausted! Hoping the new routine gets a little easier, or I may need to inject this coffee into my veins to get it working!

Posted in mommyhood

I might as well get used to my couch

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I miss the village… A recent popular blog post about the village it takes to raise a kid. Or at least the village that used to help raise a kid.  This is particularly resonating with me tonight as I sit at my computer loaded with frustration.

A distant memory sit in my mind from seven years ago while still pregnant with my first-born. We were at the dinner table with the in-laws and they were telling us how they wanted to be the first called if a babysitter is needed, and yada yada yada.. and at first with only one baby, we could get anyone to watch her, however at the time we didn’t want to be away from her! New parenting mistake.. Learn from this one new mom’s! You need the time away! Take the help while you can get it!

Fast forward to three kids later, and I will be damned we have to beg a plead to get a night together! It’s honestly gotten to the point that we have just stopped trying, I remember having to beg for our anniversary because the hubby asked and he was told no, so i started messaging and saying how it was our ten-year anniversary could someone please watch the kids for us! It amazes me how life has changed. Suddenly no one is available ever to help me and the hubby have a moment of sanity.

I guess this is dredging up because I asked for a night out with the hubby and was politely told everyone has to work. The same excuses you know. and that’s fine but apparently the hubby also asked about this friday night because the Teenage mutant ninja turtles is coming out and he knows I want to see it, and the same reason was given. We haven’t asked in a while so I guess we thought maybe just maybe we could this one time…

I have started to hang out with my friend every now and then just to see a grown up movie, because I know that me and the hubby will never get to go to one. But that doesn’t stop his family from inviting him to the movies without me, or tubing etc.  In other words, the hubby and I never have time to work on our relationship.

It apparently takes two hours to put the kids to bed, so once that is done then it’s our bedtime. WE used to watch t.v. together but are too exhausted to do that anymore. we are just going through the motions lately. It’s honestly not a way to sustain a relationship but it’s our problem and no one elses I guess.

Where is the village? The families that support and help one another. The ones that offer to give parents a mental break. Both sets of grandparents live 20 minutes away and I can count on less than one hand the amount of times that they have spent time with my children in the last couple of months. I have even been told before by my parents well your sister needs us. Just because we are independent does not mean that we don’t need you. I need you..My kids need you…

Where is the village because I am sure not seeing it. I can’t tell you how frustrating it is to see a husband and wife enjoy a night out together on Facebook. Happy that they get to remember why they fell in love but frustrated for me because the last date my hubby and I had been in march and we had to beg for it because it was our anniversary. Yep, you read that right it was five months ago. We couldn’t drop the kids off till 6pm and we were so tired and stressed from getting the kids out the door that we honestly didn’t have the best time.

Forgive my whining tonight, but the last couple of weeks have been extremely stressful. School is fixing to start and we have the head lice that is not going along with Ballet starting.. It’s just piling up and I need to unload. I have unloaded on the kids for the past two days and yelled which I hate to do! But with nowhere to release the tension it just came out and loud.

After my very honest children informed me of how mean I was being, I thought that this would be an appropriate more therapeutic way to get the feelings out.  Here I am ready to have a meltdown so I will just keep blogging and get used to my couch because it’s not like I am going anywhere anytime soon!